About 30 minutes ago, the doorbell rang. Looking out the window, I saw it was an Older White Guy in a polo shirt and slack, carrying a clipboard. Usually that means "door to door salesman," probably of the lawn care or home alarm variety, so I stepped outside to answer it fully strapped.
As I've said, I carry on a regular basis, even inside the house. When I need to go outside, I just pull a shirt over the gun so as not to freak the mundanes, but when it comes to salesmen I usually OC because 1) it typically freaks them out and 2) it adds a bit of oomph to a "No thank you."
Turns it this gentleman is an investigator for DHS and my next-door neighbor needs a security clearance, and would I mind taking 10 minutes to answer some questions?
My next door neighbor is a nice guy. He works had, pulls double shifts so his wife can take college courses, and has two young children. I trust him to look after my house. I want him to get this job, so of course I say "yes."
This means I am talking to someone to DHS, while open carrying. I know that I'm not doing anything wrong, but the reptile part of the brain is saying "Cover up! You're talking to The Man!" The higher parts of the brain, however, are saying "Keep your goddamn hands away from the gun. Do not move to cover it. Do not adjust it. Do not even go near it. No, don't even put your hands in your pockets. Fold your arms over your chest if you don't know what to do with them."
To his credit, the DHS investigator didn't say anything, nor did he act strangely. He appeared not to have noticed, although I'm 99% certain he that he did. He carried on as if everything was completely normal.
I'm totally on That List now, aren't I?
Despite millions of years of evolution, the lizard brain still gets a vote.
ReplyDeleteYou always get to do the cool stuff.
ReplyDeleteI'm actually disappointed I wasn't wearing one of my Pony shirts. That would have been some delicious mindfuckery.
ReplyDeleteDon't think too much on it. The background investigator was more than likely a contract employee working for the DHS and not an actual cop of any kind (except maybe retired.) Additionally, the few DHS BG investigators (one for my own check) that I've met with were pro-gun folks.
ReplyDeleteOne guy was from Illinois and made a little sad face and a sigh of longing when my wife and I handed him our carry permits as I.D.
I thought it was interesting that he had DHS identification/certification but no actual badge.
ReplyDeleteIt's the part that keeps an ear out for the tread of tiger paws at the cave entrance. ignore it at your peril.
ReplyDeleteOne of the Investigators I've met with did BGs for 5 different Fed agencies. He carried creds for all of them around his neck and had fish through them to find DHS to show me.
ReplyDeleteDepends on the guy. TO him he might be thinking hot lady, loves guns, my type of woman. You never know.
ReplyDeleteAs much as the list that I'm on. I had a wreck from my motorcycle on Memorial Day. I carry my Taurus in a Tagua stronghand holster... After picking myself up from the interstate the first responding officer asked me my name.
ReplyDelete"Ok, Mr. Fisher. .I'm going to take your firearm and set it in my car..." And then nothing else was mentioned until the reports were all wrapped up and the State Trooper in charge said, "Your pistol is in my trunk, let me get it for you."
Only if you happen to notice a whole lot more unmarked windowless vans all of a sudden...but on the bright side, you could probably use them to corroborate alibis. "I couldn't come in to work, because I was sick. Just ask my street's DHS guy!"
ReplyDeleteI'm curious as to how you think you weren't on the list until now....
ReplyDeleteUntil now I could delude myself into thinking I wasn't. Now I don't have plausible deniability.
ReplyDeleteAs if we ALL aren't on that list already.......
ReplyDeleteI doubt it. Depending on the part of the country, Florida being one of the good ones, probably thought something like "Somebody else who carries" and just went on with the job.
ReplyDeleteIf you'd worn that, when he was done and ready to leave you could have said "Hoof bump!"
ReplyDeleteYou would have become famous in DHS ...
;-)
Back when I went through that it was (I think) DIA who did the interviews. No contractors.
ReplyDeleteOf course, that was back in the '80s. We hardly had electricity ...
Damn. Now I am REALLY disappointed.
ReplyDeleteLife lesson: Have an MLP for every day of the week, and wear it every time I answer the door, just in case this happens again.
I don't know a thing about the initial agencies but isn't that kind of the NSA's thing? They probably don't want to let just anyone horn in on their racket...
ReplyDeleteLove it. :)
ReplyDeleteYes, back in the day the DIA would even develop sources. Now the contractors get a list from the subject and rarely go beyond it. One even interviewed my wife several years ago. DIA would never have done that. Makes me wonder how my TS came thru...
ReplyDelete