tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6649591714373684167.post1892003043314790807..comments2024-02-29T16:43:55.241-05:00Comments on Lurking Rhythmically: FuriousErin Palettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984632637166408245noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6649591714373684167.post-67793534811789471312008-11-23T12:09:00.000-05:002008-11-23T12:09:00.000-05:00Hey Erin,I have had limited internet access the la...Hey Erin,<BR/>I have had limited internet access the last few weeks but here is commentary now.<BR/><BR/>The ending did seem a bit abrupt in that the character had the brainwave, went to fulfill it and managed to do so fairly easily but that got me thinking about the themes you've been covering and led me to go back and re-read the story from the start which was no bad thing.<BR/><BR/>At the end of that I come back with (apart from long sentences) I still like the tempo, neither the language nor the plot need any padding in the body but I would like to throw my vote behind the 'character eats Eucharist, car eats character but character survives' alternate ending because even though it keeps the essential elements of the existing ending it gives it that sting at the end with some extra suspense for the reader and some extra physical danger thrown at the protagonist along with the hefty doses of menace.<BR/>Plus it would scare the heck out of the priest.<BR/><BR/>When you refer to the eucharist as the 'remainder of the sacrament' that might not be clear to all readers. Would you want to replace the first use of 'elements' with something like 'the wine and the wafers' as that way you still get to use the term but get to explain a little more for non-Christians and lapsed folk alike? Or maybe that's covered enough in the 'blood and body' reference in the last paragraph. Author's choice :-DRicochethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15771490208868092114noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6649591714373684167.post-59616211288579040622008-11-18T19:48:00.000-05:002008-11-18T19:48:00.000-05:00But don't lose heart about the lack of comments, i...But don't lose heart about the lack of comments, it can take people a while to catch up - I know I went about a week without checking my blogroll, and all of a sudden I found I had like 4 Octane installments to read! Took me a bit to process through 'em.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6649591714373684167.post-79418532484254431732008-11-17T22:12:00.000-05:002008-11-17T22:12:00.000-05:00I liked the story, but I have to agree that the en...I liked the story, but I have to agree that the ending seemed a bit abrupt. Think of most horror movies, you don't usually get a "We solved the problem and... Done!" ending. There's usually some catch, or price to pay. If, for example, the main character had to themselves take Communion and then feed *themselves* to the car - then you're cooking with gas.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com