L5R: Characters

So, last week (for certain values of "last") I was talking about Legend of the 5 Rings. Now that you know the basic mechanics (or "engine", as we in the scene call it), we can talk about characters in part san of this series.

First, you choose your clan:

• The Crab have defended the Empire's borders against the corrupt armies of the Shadowlands for a thousand years. Existing in a perpetual state of war, they have no time for such social niceties as politics, etiquette, or bathing regularly. Their hobbies include hard drinking, building fortifications, witch hunting, and beating demons to death with tetsubo.
• The Crane are the politicians and rock stars of Rokugan. Yes, they have pretty white hair. Yes, they mince around in sumptuous kimono of the finest silk. Yes, they are widely regarded as effeminate. They also have the best dueling school in the Empire and will be happy to cut you to pieces for that insult. You'd be surprised how effectively policy can be changed when its chief opponent is lying dead after an ill-chosen remark.
  
• If you prefer zen and meditation, then the Dragon are for you. Their warriors are practically monastic and their school is patterned after Miyamoto Musashi's philosophy of "Two hands, two swords." Their priests are cryptic and one of their samurai families is actually an order of magically tattooed monks. If they didn't spend so much time contemplating the mysteries of the Tao they'd be a force to be reckoned with.
• "Our chief weapons are honor, courage, and fanatical devotion to the Emperor" -- such is the code of the Lion clan. These guys adhere so strongly to the code of bushido that it's a wonder they can walk, what with that stick shoved so firmly up their asses. Of course, these professional warriors have the largest army in all the Empire and are second only to the Crane in terms of wealth and political power, so maybe there's something to be said for sphincter-lock.
  
• The Mantis clan, depending on which era of the game you use, may or may not be a major clan. They aren't in my game. Besides, they're just a bunch of honorless pirates and yakuza -- pay no attention to the fact that their family tree contains no less than two deities, I'm sure they won't amount to anything.
  
• The Phoenix clan are masters of magic. While this does mean they tend toward seclusion, it also means that if you absolutely, positively, need something smote from the face of the earth, these are the guys to do it... if you can convince them. And to convince them, you have to get past the Shiba, an entire family of yojimbo ready to die in their service. It takes a special kind of courage to die for people who despise you.
  
• There are no ninja in Rokugan. None. It's all peasant tales and superstition. And even if there were, the clan of the Scorpion would have nothing to do with them, because ninja (if they did exist) are criminals and traitors. No no, the Scorpion are the Emperor's spymasters. Truly. Would she lie to you?
• Sometimes you just want to thunder across the steppes on a mighty steed, wearing fur and leather and generally acting like a Mongol. The rest of the Empire regards you as barbaric but fuck them, you're a Unicorn, and your ancestors lived this way so it's honorable. Your clan has been to gaijin lands and came back changed, all in service to the Emperor. You're a misfit, and oddly that means you can get along with just about anyone.
  
• And then there are the Ronin, for people who like having the deck stacked against them when they play. Nobody likes you, everyone thinks you're dishonorable criminal scum, but hey, it's better than being a peasant...
• Finally, there are half-dozen minor clans, which I won't describe due to space and the tendency for them to come and go depending on which edition of the game you're using.

Then, you choose your school:

• Bushi: You whack things until they fall down dead.
  
• Shugenja: You cast spells based on the elements of Air, Earth, Fire, Water and, if you're a badass Phoenix shugenja, Void. (See character sheet for an idea of what effects elemental spells have other than the obvious; for example, Fire can make you more agile in addition to burning things.)
• Courtier: You don't just talk pretty; the Imperial Court is your battlefield.
  
• Other: This wildcard slot depends on your clan. The Dragon have a monastic order, the Crab have witch-hunters, and the Scorpion have ninja actors.
  

Based upon your clan and your career path, you are given a set of beginning skills and your school technique -- for instance, a Dragon bushi learns to dual-wield his Katana and Wakizashi simultaneously, while a Scorpion shujenga gains a bonus to spells that aid in duplicity and information gathering.

You then round out your character with what are essentially freebie points, to be spent on increasing stats or skills or purchasing advantages. You can get more point for taking disadvantages, yadda yadda yadda, if you've played an RPG within the past 10 years you know how this goes.

Now here's the neat thing: you learn the next rank of your school's technique once you have accumulated a certain amount of Insight. Now, insight is not XP; you don't get it from killing monsters. Instead, you gain Insight as you increase your skills. The effective upshot of this is that your big bad killing machine Bushi can in fact reach the next level of martial enlightenment by learning to arrange flowers. In any other game system this would be regarded as game-breaking and cheese-mongering, but in this pseudo-Japanese setting -- where a warrior is supposed to exemplify excellence in all things and be well-read and well-rounded -- it works.

Next: the Setting!

WNW: Hung Like a Hammer

Picture courtesy of Chris Sims, meme (hopefully) by me.


If you don't get it, just go kill yourself now.

Bonus!

Phantom Girl explains it all!


(Special thanks to Jeff for the picture!)

Hickman on Guys in Loincloths

OK, so again, where was I in the grand story of "Troy Hickman's Non-Existence in Comic Land"? Oh, yeah, I had just gotten a write-up in Wizard for Holey Crullers, which is the equivalent of a nocturnal emission for a mini-comics publisher (actually, mini-comics publishers don't need equivalents for nocturnal emissions, but I digress).

So there I was, basking in something my addled brain was letting me think was fame, when I got a phone call from someone claiming to be Fabian Nicieza, head of Acclaim Comics. I was just about to tell the obvious faker to kiss my rosy red backside when it became apparent that it wasn't a gag. Fabian was interested in having me do some work for Acclaim. Wha---?

Before I could say "Velociraptor," I had a gig on a Turok one-shot. I was thrilled, not just because it was the first somewhat "mainstream" character on which I'd had a chance to work, but because the synchronicity of it seemed right; one of the very first comics I'd ever owned was a Gold Key Turok comic from the mid-sixties, with a cover featuring Turok and his pal on a raft being attacked by some damned giant gar or somesuch (I still have it around here somewhere).

It was an interesting assignment, given the particulars. I was told that it needed to feature Turok, obviously, as well as Adon, a female character who played a pivotal role in the previous Turok one-shot, and who was also included in the video game that the comic was supposed to help launch.

The only problem was that I wasn't that familiar with the "new" Turok, so I had to bone up on the character. In doing so, I found out he wasn't my father's Oldsmobile. Gone was the prehistoric Indian who went after dinos with his trusty knife. The current Turok was able to pull weapons galore out of his bag o' tricks, ala Felix the Cat. It was an interesting switch, but one that gave me a bit of trouble at first. In one memorable phone conversation, Fabian was puzzled as to why I had Turok pull a slingshot out of his bag when he could've accessed a plasma rifle or a photon cannon. Oops. (I tend to pull boneheaded moves like that occasionally, though, like when I wrote a Green Lantern Corps story that editor Kevin Dooley liked, except for the fact that I had GL form a giant umbrella...for like the 956th time in comic history!)

I wanted it to be my own take on Turok, though, not just one more big guns vs. dinosaurs epic, so I hit on a solution: I made the damned thing a love story. Turok and Adon would fall for each other, but in the end, it would be a tragedy beyond Shakespearean proportions.

And the Acclaim team dug it. So they gave it to artist Ryan Benjamin to draw, they stuck on a painted cover by fan favorite David Mack (though, I have to ask, don't you think his Turok on the cover bears a strange resemblence to Val Kilmer?), and they sent it to press. And voila! My first color comic project.

Of course, it was a one-shot, so it wasn't a regular gig. And it was magazine-sized, so a lot of shops didn't have room for it on the stands. And they probably only printed up 5000-10000 copies total. OK, so it wasn't Secret Wars, but dammit, it was a big, colorful comic with my name on it!

And they even made an action figure of Adon, a character I hadn't created, but had largely fleshed out and brought to life.

And Acclaim liked it enough to offer me more work, including one of the three issues in their big company crossover that was going to restructure the whole Acclaim Universe.

And, as with 98% of everything else in my life, the gig went south. They eventually lined up Jim "Little Fucks" Shooter to script the event, and truth be told, I never even bothered to read the thing.

Unfortunately, a short time later, Acclaim was no more, at least not as a comic book publisher.

But I'd had my fling with them, and I'd gotten my name out there a bit more, and I'd worked on a character that at least comic book fans had heard of. And that was something.

Something that would have to tide me over for the next four years...

Next: Whatever Happened to Roy Hobbs?

Aut viam inveniam aut faciam

I'm very sorry that this blog post is late. I was waiting for something.

Obviously, it didn't happen.

No, I don't intend to elaborate upon that.


On a related note, I suspect that I will have to revert to a thrice-weekly schedule for the foreseeable future, mainly because I spend most of my days covered in dog shit.

Allow me to explain. I currently live at home with my parents, who are in their early 70s. Since the beginning of the year, each of them has had various operations which left them unable to do their regular chores about the house. Since I'm living here without paying rent, it is my duty to play the dutiful daughter and help out whenever possible.

Let me emphasize: I have no problem with this.

The problem lies with my mother's two dogs, both of whom are old... incontinent... and all but paralyzed from the waist down. This last fact means that, when it is time for them to go outside and do their business, a sling must be put underneath their bellies. Their potty time is a perverse game of wheelbarrow, which would be funny if they didn't end up doing their business all over my feet and legs.

You see, owing to my mother's recent knee surgery, I must cart these dogs out. The larger of the two dogs 96 pounds. I have to do this a minimum of 4 times a day for each dog, and even then, they STILL manage to pee or poop in the house.

I am, quite frankly, exhausted from this constant workout. The entire house smells very strongly of urine, which isn't doing my allergies any good. Because of this, I'm not sleeping well. Between the lack of the sleep and the constant stopping of whatever I'm doing in order to attend to spoiled, insecure, and incontinent dogs -- whom I have taken to calling The Amazing Shit Machine and Princess Pee -- I can't seem to get the focus I need to write effectively.

I'm tired all the time. My arms and legs ache. I can't concentrate. I suspect it's rather like having a newborn in the house, except that there are no diapers involved.

Now, I did not tell you this to elicit sympathy. Don't tell me how you feel bad for me, etc, because frankly a Cinderella mindset will do me more harm than good. Yes, it's bad, but it's not that bad; I just need to find a way to adapt.

Adaptation, however, will take time, which is why I may miss blog posts. I can't guarantee that I'll have the time or creative energy to write something worth reading. It's my hope that with a day and a half between posts, I'll be able to cobble together something worthwhile.

And now, a bunny with a pancake on its head:

Project Perseus

Nifty name, huh? I think it has some real zing.

Oh, what's it mean? Well, it's the name I've given to my Super-Secret Writing For Actual Money Project. So instead of saying, "I spent all yesterday doing research for my Super-Secret Writing For Actual Money Project," I can instead say "Yesterday, Project Perseus took one step closer to completion."

Then I can smirk ominously and chortle menacingly like a cheesy Bond villain.

Before I go: the Serenity Ship's Papers go on sale today... just as I predicted.

All is going according to plan.

*smirk*

*chortle*

*plot*

Meh.

Eh, I don't really have anything pithy to say about this.

I don't have anything against Whip-Snap, per se; she seemed capable enough most of the time, but the constant crying and harping on her rough childhood was getting very old.

I think Hygena actually deserved to leave this time, but eh. Her days are numbered anyway, since to my mind there are only two real heroes on that show: Hyperstrike and The Defuser, who needs to watch his back since this was his second time on the red block. I'm worried that if he goes up there again, he's gone.

My money is on Hyperstrike; not only has he never been up for elimination, but he's got that infectious grin and goofy good-natured wholesomeness that Stan goes ga-ga over.

WNW: Holy d20

This will be my next D&D campaign.

Even the hairy woman. I'll just say she's a dwarf or something. Her father is TOTALLY a dwarf, rocking that pimp beard and all.




For those of you who don't get the joke, watch the original video by Ronnie James Dio here.