tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6649591714373684167.post699915926557060593..comments2024-02-29T16:43:55.241-05:00Comments on Lurking Rhythmically: Curse/Or: Chapter 5 conclusion (and end of Act 1)Erin Palettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09984632637166408245noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6649591714373684167.post-51746222033665124532011-08-09T23:28:00.186-04:002011-08-09T23:28:00.186-04:00Ah-ha! That makes sense. Also, you're welcome!...Ah-ha! That makes sense. Also, you're welcome! <br><br>Capcha: Mamakway. Maybe, if turned to "Mamak Way" it could be a street name? <br><br>Also, since there's a capcha, your Disqus has died again.C'nor (Outermost_Toe)http://www.blogger.com/profile/01580315916281876117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6649591714373684167.post-51953232794381346552011-08-01T17:06:00.860-04:002011-08-01T17:06:00.860-04:00It seems your temporary loss of disqus ate my comm...It seems your temporary loss of disqus ate my comment. Oh well. You know what my response was, I think, so...C'nor (Outermost Toe)noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6649591714373684167.post-55439119858973995732011-07-31T02:49:19.807-04:002011-07-31T02:49:19.807-04:00I was so caught up in the idea that a decent perce...I was so caught up in the idea that a decent percentage of content on the internet is dross that I didn't stop to consider the shift in the power dynamic and what this would mean for humanity :-/<br />I also blame the fact I've been hearing Netty's part spoken in the dulcet tones of Stephen Fry who I would be quite comfortable to have as an all-powerful overlord.<br /><br />Wow. Given Model's stated intentions and upfront admissions I shouldn't have been surprised by what he did and how he chose to do it, but even though I was wary of him you still managed to knock my feet out from underneath me with that one.<br /><br />I really like the tweaks on Teresa's comment about Esther and Yarrow and her reaction at the end of the segment, it works better in the portrayal of the character and the formatting of the scene.<br /><br />Congratulations on successfully completing Act I in all its glory, compelling right to the end.<br /><br />*APPLAUSE*Ricochethttp://pinballmind.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6649591714373684167.post-51308108569943895692011-07-27T05:19:59.794-04:002011-07-27T05:19:59.794-04:00Ah-ha! That makes sense. Also, you're welcome!...Ah-ha! That makes sense. Also, you're welcome! <br /><br />Capcha: Mamakway. Maybe, if turned to "Mamak Way" it could be a street name? <br /><br />Also, since there's a capcha, your Disqus has died again.C'nor (Outermost_Toe)https://www.blogger.com/profile/01580315916281876117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6649591714373684167.post-55133768001434482532011-07-27T03:21:43.575-04:002011-07-27T03:21:43.575-04:00Oooh, no, you are mistaken about Teresa's powe...Oooh, no, you are mistaken about Teresa's power. Cancermancy (Carcinosurgury if you're nasty) is about consumption in exchange for power. The ability to light up is just a nifty side effect, and the things she's managed to set aflame have usually been toxic in some manner, with the fumes ending up being inhaled. <br /><br />In other words, fire is just the delivery system. <br /><br />As for Model -- don't count him out just yet. ;)<br /><br />Thanks for reading!Erin Palettehttp://lurkingrhythmically.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6649591714373684167.post-24019073751843437232011-07-27T03:16:36.792-04:002011-07-27T03:16:36.792-04:00I guess I use the "he said" in order to ...I guess I use the "he said" in order to make it clear which person is doing the talking. It's a pet peeve of mine when I cannot tell which paragraph is being spoken by which character. <br /><br />Regarding your concern in the second paragraph: Relax, I've got this. It's all under control. :)<br /><br />But... predictable? Really? And here I was being so pleased for having successfully pulled an Ozymandias on the readers. /e sadface. <br /><br />All I can really say at this point is, "Wait until the next part. I have a habit of doing unexpected things with this narrative."Erin Palettehttp://lurkingrhythmically.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6649591714373684167.post-80044419774176507172011-07-27T02:44:36.494-04:002011-07-27T02:44:36.494-04:00Mage: the Whatevering? True names, enormously ope...Mage: the Whatevering? True names, enormously open capability sets that scale upward through concepts, and a general theme of progress vs. stagnation?Vonhttp://kaptainvon.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6649591714373684167.post-13352087324662827842011-07-26T04:30:21.258-04:002011-07-26T04:30:21.258-04:00She's Camel. Pryomancy and Cancer Control. But...She's Camel. Pryomancy and Cancer Control. But she doesn't realize she can put out a fire a lot faster than they can? <br /><br />Also, Model is a bit of an idiot, apparently, since he just lured her away and then killed the people that had been helping her up to this point, then drove her back to a massive fire. Does he not get that that's a recipe for himself, cooked well done? <br /><br />Still, it's a good read. Keep it up! <br /><br />(Also, now I really want to see this adapted to an RPG system. So many ideas for characters... (Like Blueprint. If he can envision it, he can draw it, if he draws it he understands it, and if he understands it, he can make it. I really want to play him.)C'nor (Outermost Toe)noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6649591714373684167.post-54751753349224174732011-07-26T04:02:23.385-04:002011-07-26T04:02:23.385-04:00Well-executed, as ever. Model's euphemistic r...Well-executed, as ever. Model's euphemistic rhetoric is a joy, as is Teresa's "I know what you're doing and I won't let you obfuscate" pretend-to-be-stupid routine. A couple of minor gripes and grouses - I don't think you need the 'he asked' (you have a question mark to indicate that) or 'he explained' (since his speech makes it obvious that he's explaining). You write good dialogue and you support it with verbs for physical actions. It doesn't need saidbooking for crutches; let it run wild, and free!<br /><br />I like the tension that you're exploring here - is the sentient Internet a prisoner needing to be freed or a tyrant waiting to be empowered? - but the chapter seems to be settling on and priming the reader for the rest of the book being magi against the Net for the good of humanity, and that seems a little reactionary, a little technophobic. It might just be that this is the Big Persuasive Spiel from Model for his perspective and I'm reading it in isolation, so maybe I'll completely disagree with what I've just written when I reread the whole thing.<br /><br />On the matter of persuasion - he's doing so well right up until "what makes you think they aren't already dead", and I fear that it takes a turn for the predictable at that point, surprising given his stated dislike of hoary old tropes (nice turn of phrase there, by the way). Again, it takes a fascinating idea and an excellent style and runs them through some fairly well-worn narrative channels. I assume, knowing you, that you intend to subvert this at some stage?Vonhttp://kaptainvon.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.com