WNW: This is dumb and I want one

Fuck you and your candy-ass silencers.  Here in Murrica, we have the LOUDENER!

No you didn’t read that title wrong, the folks over at Snake Hound Machine actually have a muzzle brake in the works that makes your rifle (or AR pistol) even louder than it already is. Their “Loudener” muzzle brake is touted as the most “obnoxious, ear-shattering, explosive muzzle device you can put on a gun”. It has a single chamber that allows the burning gases to expand before it hits the baffle which lets everyone at the range two counties over that you mean business. What’s the practical purpose of this device? There is none, but boy do I want to shoot at AR with one of these! There’s no definite release date on them as of yet, but Snake Hound Machine did say they’ll be available in both 5.56 and .308.

This is almost enough to make me want to thread the barrel of my Mosin, just to enhance the already impressive BOOM.


(h/t to Robb Allen)

Substitute Traveller

I took the day off to run errands and (finally!) watch Pacific Rim*.

So instead of doing a Traveller Tuesday, I'm going to link to a couple of posts McThag made on the subject.

Also:  I have been asked by McThag to pimp this:

It's a cookbook made by his wife. I haven't yet tried any of the dishes, but I'm told his chili recipe is delish. It's a steal at $3.99.

Go show the McThag household some love and buy their book!



* Executive Summary: The finest live-action anime I've ever seen, and everything I wanted in a kaiju/mecha movie.

Trying something new

Since you folks were kind enough to reach the first three stretch goals, here (as promised) is a recording of me singing not just the song I promised, but  an additional one as well -- and a lot of blather besides.

I couldn't figure out how to upload it so here's a link to the mp3 on Dropbox.

So anyways, this is me with my first voice-recording-thing. I can't call it a podcast -- it's far too amateur hour for that.

Please be kind.

[insert expletives here]

You guys.

YOU GUYS.

I tell you to bring your A game, and you totally show me what you've got.

In 36 hours, you fully funded Squeaky's goal.  That's so amazing I need to invent new profanity to describe its amazing-ness:

You coyvers are simply apefling, you know that? Such splendid goibbleknockers, the lot of you. Why, I'd prusk any one of you as thanks for this (but never on the mouth). 

So because you fulfilled your end of the bargain, it looks like I have to...

... pony up.





Except there's just one small problem:  I didn't expect this fundraiser to be finished in thirty-six karglefluging hours.  Plans are in motion, guys; plans for me to meet up with Oleg and do a multiple-picture shoot. I am absolutely not backing out of this, but you're going to have to wait for these plans to come to fruition before I properly expose myself.  You'll see my face by September 1, if not before -- it all depends upon how quickly things come together. I just need y'all to understand why there isn't a picture here on this blog right now.

But since I'm making you wait, let's sweeten the pot with some Stretch Goals to encourage folks to keep donating. Extra donations are really useful, because this funding goal was the minimum amount Squeaky needed, you see -- it doesn't cover extras like follow-up appointments, medications, or crablogging anesthesia, of all things, it just covers the operation itself.  And I think we all know how unexpected expenses can pop up after surgery!

So let's start this off easily.

• $1600:  I will sing my Doctor Doom Filk, "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Marvel Mastermind" and post the recording here. I make no guarantees as to sound quality. 

• $1700:  I will do a dramatic reading or recite a monologue as chosen by a vote. Alternately, you could have me do a spoken word version of one of my blog posts, or do silly voices and impressions. 

• $1800:  Bonnie and I will sing a duet of your choice. Again, quality is relative, although she is a trained opera singer so the result should be slightly better. 

• $2000:  I will have Oleg take a special picture of me. This will NOT be cheesecake! However, if you want something like "Dress up like a Hogwarts character and pose with your Avada Kedavra Mosin,"  I could do that. Basically, think "gunnie cosplay."

• $3000:  I might be persuaded to do a bikini pic. I warn you, however, that this isn't nearly as titillating as you might think. But if you want something fun, flirty, pin-up, etc, this is your goal. You poor bastards.

• $5000:  Video of me, in a bikini or other piece of clothing, holding whatever gun or prop you want (nothing illegal or disgusting), singing whatever song you want.  I'm particularly fond of the notion of me singing "Tiptoe through the tulips" wearing a Russian peasant dress and ushanka, carrying a Mosin-Nagant...

Show me what you've got, shpdoinkers!

Holy Crap, Y'all

In the 12 hours since the donation page went up, Squeaky has received $540 in donations. That's 29% of her goal right there.   You guys must REALLY want to see my face. 

... and in the space it took me to write this, another $100 has been added.  Holy Crap! That's 35%!

The generosity of  my readers continues to astound me. 

All right, enough fucking around

Squeaky's donation total (38% of goal) hasn't moved since last night. So I will take a cue from the Evyl Robot, call you all bitches, and step up.

If you FULLY FUND Squeaky's surgery, I will post a picture of my face on the internet. My blog, Facebook, G+, Twitter, everywhere.

There is only one rule, and it is this:  her surgery is at the end of August, so this offer expires at midnight my time, August 31, 2013. If she is fully funded by then, you'll get to see my ugly mug in all its hideous glory -- no fakes, no masks, no blurs or gaussian fades, no pictures in a dark room with no flash.

Shit, if I can get a hold of Oleg between now and then, I'll let him take a professional picture of me.

So there you go. I have stepped up. This is my A game. Come at me, bro!


UPDATE 1:  Squeaky has set up a donation page at YouCaring.com.  After just 10 hours, $140 has been donated.  This is an excellent start, and if you guys can keep up this pace, she'll be funded in less than two weeks!

UPDATE 2:  Oleg has risen to the challenge and has posted the following on Facebook:

I took a few photos of Erin in early July* but will do more and better for the purpose if this comes through. And Bonnie is worth helping even if you aren't curious about Erin's mugshot.

* Technically it was late June, as I was on my way to the Bidet Shoot, but that's a minor point.


UPDATE 3, for context: New readers may be wondering why showing my face is a big deal. If you are, please go read this post where I detail what it's like having body dysmorphic disorder. 

Isms in Gaming 2: Just How Blatant Do We Have To Make It?

        The examples I laid out previously are only a few in recent memory. The message behind the media gets so terribly lost on some people, and for this reason I wonder what kind of role models they've had in their own lives that they think the thugs of Arkham city, the crazed cultists of Tomb Raider, or the sky-borne racists of Bioshock Infinite are the ones they should be identifying with. None of these characters are meant to represent a positive point of view, none of them are meant to be the audience-identification character, and certainly none of them are the developer's way of saying "Racism is good, and you should beat up women in alleyways." It would be if one of you were to read the article I've written, and say that the preceding sentence was my entire message. It's not, by the way, not that I'd have to tell any of you that. I used to pride myself on my empathy, being able to put myself in someone else's shoes, but I can't for the life of me figure out how someone looks at one of these characters and thinks to themselves "Yes. This. This is the character that best represents the point of view that the writers and developers most want me to feel." 

It's like you have to go to the lengths that Gearbox went to, making a character such an over-the-top comedy sexist before people realize you aren't supposed to agree with them.

As I said earlier on, there are some legitimate problems. Resident Evil 5, for example, took an otherwise strong and competent female character gave her several bikini-esque alternate costumes, and the majority of the game was a white dude shooting brown people. Call of Jaurez: The Cartel has a level where you're facing off against Mexican gangs. No problem, right? There's an achievement for killing enough Mexicans. Dead Island accidentally leaked a development build where one of the female characters (otherwise a balanced portrayal of a woman, if not a touch hot-headed) had a skill called “Feminist Bitch.” There is a vital, key difference between the examples listed above and the ones listed previously: the mechanics are portraying a group in a negative light as opposed to specific characters. You look at Fink in Bioshock Infinite, in the space of a minute saying “The prettiest white girl in all of Columbia” to handing the player character a baseball to throw at a mixed-race couple and you can tell that Fink is no role model, but when you're handed a gun and told to shoot your way through this third-world village of Africans, that's where your 'problematics' begin.

I should probably stop beating up on Resident Evil 5 now. Capcom's never been the strongest of storytellers.

In closing, it's a good thing to be more inclusive and accepting of different points of view and ideas when making games, whether those points of view match yours or not. But when you're playing a game and something offends you, stop and ask yourself: “Is the idea being presented as a good thing? Or is this a representation of a real-world idea that is being shown in an educational or critical light? Are there actually people like this in the real world?” Disallowing sexism and racism to be portrayed is as harmful as discriminating yourself, as society needs a mirror to see its own flaws. I can't help but feel the people railing against these sort of things just want to cover their ears and go “LA LA LA CAN'T HEAR YOU” instead of experiencing a story that might have some unpleasant moments.