He Had a Three Foot Proof of Intelligent Design
20-ish guy: I wish I had a gi-normous cock. I mean, a cock the size of a baseball bat.
20-ish girl: What would you do with it? No woman could fit it in.
20-ish guy: Doesn't matter. If I had a cock that big I'd never have to argue with anyone again.
20-ish girl: How do you figure that?
20-ish guy: If someone disagreed with me I would take out my 34-inch cock, flip it up on the table like a mutant Chateaubriand and make a face like this [makes a 'So there!' face].
20s-ish girl: So, let me get this straight: You think that a giant penis trumps a logical argument?
20-ish guy: Well, doesn't it? Like with that guy you met in Aruba last winter?
20-ish girl, after long stare: I told you never to mention that again.
Note to self: Must use the phrase "Cock like a mutant Chateaubriand" once before I die.
PS: This post is dedicated to Salem MacGourley and his magnificent gwmicnxl.