Me: I beg your pardon?
VIMH: Up here, in your memory. There's a large box labeled "Blogs I wrote in my head just as I was drifting off to sleep and then promptly forgot about." It's quite interesting.
Me: I don't like the thought of you rummaging about up there...
VIMH: Hey, you asked us for help, remember? So we're helping.
Me: By snooping?
VIMH: Precisely. It's not like we can go for stroll to clear our minds, you know? We're stuck in your head, after all. So it's only right that we get to riffle through the interesting fiddly bits you keep up in the attic.
Me: I'm not sure how wise that is, but go for it.
VIMH: Oh dear lord.
Me: ... what?
VIMH: This... this is horrible. Disgusting, even. Morgan Freeman slashfic? HAVE YOU NO SHAME?
Me: I'd like to point out in my defense that I was drunk at the time. Besides, he and Edward James Olmos make a very cute couple:
VIMH: (A chorus of disjointed voices) I... I can't deal with this right now. This is sickening. I feel hurt and betrayed. I rather liked it. Shut up, you!
Me: Aw, don't be like that... look, I can write you some nice lesbian fiction if that'd make you feel better.
VIMH: No, we think it'd be better if we just left.
<Exeunt VIMH>
Me: Huh. Apparently the Voices in my Head are a bunch of homophobic men. Who knew?
There is the possibility they just came up the image of two VERY old men feebly attempting to have sex.
ReplyDeleteIt's an aesthetics thing, really. Because, honestly, that is fucked up.
Oh, posh.
ReplyDeleteAt their age, they'd forgo the gymnastics and just give each other blowjobs.
Because that's sensible.
Not an image I needed... *shudder* and here I was, just about to goto bed. Now I need to find something to scrub that image from my mind
ReplyDelete*goes looking for some girl on girl porn*
That's not exactly the way i wanted to start my morning off. *shudder*
ReplyDeleteAt least it was ammusing. :)
Edward James Olmos makes a cute couple with ANYONE.
ReplyDelete(Lorne Who?)
And c'mon people, this is no worse than the Anita Blake (!) slash fiction that's just got to be out there somewhere!
I thought Laurel Hamilton wrote nothing but slash?
ReplyDelete"I thought Laurel Hamilton wrote nothing but slash?"
ReplyDeleteWhich makes you wonder just how far out Anita Blake slash fiction would have to be, considering she's having/had sexual relations with all manner of supernatural creatures already. I assume it's simply like "oh she's shagging the human male detectives, how naughty!"