Petty Divine Relics

For the upcoming Petty Gods supplement.


The Sword of Rasoob

Green with corrosion, this sickle sword looks absolutely ancient. Made of bronze, it is heavier than a steel sword of identical size, and its edge has been blunted over time (-2 penalty to hit and damage). However, these penalties may be overcome through certain ritual actions, which impart a cumulative bonus to the sword for each act:

• Remove all objects of iron or steel from the wielder's person:  +2
• For each member of the party who similarly forsakes iron and steel: +1 per party member
• Ritually sacrifice magical items of armor or steel in a sanctified forge: +1 per each +1 of sacrificed object.

With each bonus gained, the Sword of Rasoob becomes sharper, lighter, and less corroded, until it is a gleaming bronze khopesh of incredible sharpness. All bonuses are lost if the wielder or party members equip themselves with iron or steel, or if the Sword of Rasoob is placed beside weapons containing that metal.

Once the Sword of Rasoob has reached a bonus of +5 to hit and damage, additional abilities are unlocked:

• Remove tarnish from all non-ferrous objects at will. 
• Expend a +1 bonus to rust ferrous metals, as per a rust monster, with a successful strike. 
• Expend a +2 bonus to cast flesh to stone (bronze, in this case) as if an 11th level magic-user.

If Rasoob has been summoned, he will always be wielding this weapon at full (+10) power. If he is defeated, it will have no starting bonuses. If he lends it to a PC in whom he finds favor, it may have a random number (1d4) of bonuses.


The Half-Assed Relics of Manidono
Manidono leaves semi-powerful relics of dubious use in his wake like crumbs from a child's lunch. They only last for a short time after leaving his presence.

The Couch of Manidono is any place where the petty god has chosen to rest. Anyone sitting in it must succeed in a save vs paralysis, or be unable to leave due to lack of desire. Those afflicted will ask others, usually in a whine, to bring them food and drink or do other tasks. In cases where they must move, they will wheedle and beg others to carry them and their couch. However, while confined to the chair, they will not suffer from long-term effects such as illness, starvation, etc, as they literally never get around to dying.

The Snack of Manidono is the leftovers of any foodstuff that the petty god has enjoyed. Eating it will result in fingers and tongue of unnatural coloration, and a desire for more of the same. All other food and drink will seem tasteless in comparison, and the fingers will stain clothing and other porous substances, for a day.

The Garb of Manidono is any piece of clothing that the petty god has touched or worn. It will protect from environmental hazards (cold, fire, poison, etc) but it will also cause the loss of 2d6 points of Charisma for as long as it is worn. Caution is warranted to wearers of the Garb of Half-Assery: they never know when it will stop being magical.

The Pipe of Manidono is, like, this thing, you know? And you suck on it? And whoah. Visions, dude. Of the future. You want to know the future? Okay: Ask me a question.

Roll 1d4:

1. Absolutely, dude.
2. No way, dude. 
3. Maybe, dude. 
4. Beats me, dude. Ask again later.

All of these answers are 100% accurate but annoyingly vague.