Salem is Still Doing Political Play-by-play?

Here we go again. Rooster vs Lizard, part 2, GO:

• The pre-game show: Bill Clinton vs Melania Trump. I'm waiting for Bill to jump her and try to chew her ear off. Literally. That's not a joke. 
• Oh damn. Broderick and company are in the audience? That's gotta be awkward. 
• "I want us to heal our country." - Hillary Clinton, 2016. 
• Do you mean you want... to... make America.... Great... Again? 
• "I want to make America Great Again." - Donald Trump, 2016
• Do you mean you want... to... Heal... Our... Country?
• Trump, you sound really subdued, bruv. You had a rough weekend? 
• "Nobody has more respect for women than I do." I really beg to disagree, Mister Trump. I'm not one of those people that's onboard with you being the devil or Literally Hitler, but I'm fairly certain that statement isn't true. 
• I really don't get the outrage over the #TrumpTapes. None of this stuff is shocking in context with other things he's said. Does make for good memes, though. 
• The reason Bill's proclivities keep coming up, if you'll allow me a bullet point to rant, is that the same people that say "Rape Culture" isn't people literally going around raping people unpunished, it's society's way of making excuses for it, are the people ignoring the legion of women that have accused Bill Clinton of sexual assault of varying degrees while Hillary either (according to varying reports) looks the other way or intimidates them into silence. Hillary is an enabler of Rape Culture. She's possibly the worst advocate for women that I can imagine. 
• "Mister Trump, were you a different man 11 years ago?" Scientifically speaking, he was a different man approximately 7 years ago when all of his cells shed and regenerated. Psychologically, who hasn't changed in 11 years? 11 years ago I was a con artist and not psychologically damaged to the extent I am now. 
• Aw, man, Trump even brought the victim of the guy Hillary defended way back in the day? Why didn't he just come on-stage smoking the cigar that Bill humidored with Monica? 
• Hey guys, Hillary has a website. Anyone know if she's written a book? 
• "Because you'd be in jail."
  
  

• Oh... Hillary took the bait. Trump kept badgering her about the emails and Hillary took the bait and got mad. Good. GOOD. GOOD, HILLARY. SHOW SOME PASSION. You almost convinced me you're not a lizard-person. I want to see you mad. I want to see you passionate. I want you to show me that you've got some kind of range of emotion. 
• You know, it's a recorded phenomenon that men use their health insurance less in general, and that's not even taking into account reproductive health services. Men pay more for car insurance because they're more prone to have to use it. Women paid more for health insurance because they were more prone to go to the doctor instead of waiting it out. 
• How many times can Trump name-drop Bernie Sanders in 90 minutes? Let's find out, as he baits the anti-establishment crowd for all he's got. 
• "Is it OK for a politician to be two-faced?" This is a question that someone asked a politician. Props to Hillary for bringing up Lincoln. Lincoln personally believed black people were inferior, but was still the figurehead of the anti-slavery movement. Do I believe Hillary can hold heinous beliefs and still do good things? Do I believe the opposite instead? 
• Hillary, you bring up Russia as often as Tim Kaine brings up Tax Returns. 
• Speak of the devil, there's the tax returns. 
• Trump, channeling Tyrion Lannister: "Wouldn't be nice if we could work WITH Russia?" In a recent episode of Game of Thrones, Tyrion reminded Grey Worm that "You make peace with your enemies, not your friends." 
• That said, I don't particularly want Trump as president, but I also don't want Cold War 2.0. 
• On taxes: "Everything Donald says isn't true." Really? I want George Soros's tax returns, then. 
• On Syria: "What's an Aleppo?"
• Trump, with all the complaining about time limits and interruptions, you're starting to sound like Ted Cruz. You made fun of him for that. 
• Oh boy, we're talking The Deplorables. Are we going to get a Rare Pepe out of this? 
• Hillary: "The campaign Bernie Sanders and I ran." U FOKIN WAT M8? 
• Calling it now: Huffington Post runs a headline about how trump saying "Rejiggering" is racist.
• "Name one positive thing you respect in the other." Oh, this is gonna be good. 
• Hillary: "He's got good kids." What, you mean the one with the M&Ms and Rapists Skittles and refugee picture? 
• Trump: "She doesn't quit and she doesn't give up. She's a fighter." Damn. Taking the high road, Trump. Good shot.

I call no winner. I call Mulligan. This is basically my impression.