From the Diary of Erin Palette, newly incarnate Goddess of Chaos:
Friday, 14 March
Feeling v. excited about new divinity status.
Rained all day today. Decided I didn't like rain and chose to change it. Went outside and commanded rain to stop falling.
Succeeded only in giving myself killer headache. Ouch. Have decided rain is not in my Goddess portfolio. Stupid rain.
Have decided that rain is Zeus' way of keeping me down. Goth side of me is heartened by this act of patriarchal theocratic oppression.
Have further decided that headaches are part of Goddess portfolio, specifically the giving thereof: If I give headaches to other people maybe mine will go away. Suddenly Eris' bitchiness makes total sense.
Am heartened by this revelation. To celebrate, I go to bed early.
Saturday, 15 March (Ides of March)
Headache gone. Wonder to whom I gave it. Maybe Zeus? Rain is gone today.
Caught up on last 2 weeks of Jericho. V. sad Bonnie killed by Goetz. Stupid Ravenwood.
Wonder if Jake and Major Beck will ever confess forbidden love for each other. Probably never. Hawkins will kill Beck if he tries anything.
Wonder who is prettier, Skeet Ulrich or Esai Morales. Skeet has brooding, stubble-y emo look down pat, but Esai has that razor-sharp, "I iron my underwear" STRAC thing going. Both v. sexy.
Joyously partook of hot dogs without buns for lunch. Should have done this on Friday, but was distracted by Goddess duties. Besides, Ides of March more Discordian anyway, because 1 x 5=5, and Caesar was a Greyface.
Briefly ponder how big a racket this Goddess thing can be. Wonder if I can get sympathetic Discordians to send me $5 tithe on a regular basis.
Decide it would be easier to herd a tub full of wet cats than get Discordians to do anything.
Briefly wonder where to get tubful of cats to test herding hypothesis. Abandon idea when it starts looking like actual work.
Finally get around to making Bad Touché for City of Villains. Am pleased with how skeezy he looks, yet still wish for a floppy hat with a feather. Made do with beret instead.
Still no progress re: life-changing change. Will have to try harder tomorrow.
(Apologies to Cassandra Claire for cribbing her format)
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Now playing: VNV Nation - The Solitary EP - 05 - Freude (schlachtfeld version by Wumpscut)
via FoxyTunes
Floppy hat with feather would be a nice touch.
ReplyDeleteHave fun with Goddesshood.
If you start asking for money from your worshippers, then you become the Pope.
ReplyDeleteIncorrect-- one would instead become L. Ron Hubbard.
ReplyDelete