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Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Late Monday Gunday

Yeah, sorry about yesterday. I know I should have done some blogging, but I had to wake up much earlier than usual and the entire day was crappy, so by the time evening rolled around I was all "At this point I just want to kill things with my Blood Elf Warlock."

However, last night I had a gun-related dream that y'all might find interesting, because I dreamed I had my first negligent discharge.

In my dream, I was in my kitchen, and I was holstering my pistol (no, I don't know why I had the pistol out). I know for a fact that I had my index finger completely off the gun, because 1) I have to do that to holster it and 2) I could feel my hand position in this dream. And then, somehow, I think I missed the holster, and then the gun went off.

I say "the gun went off" because my immediate reaction in the dream was "Bullshit, no way!"

To be more specific, it went like this:
  1. Gun goes off, bullet strikes linoleum floor, fragments of floor hit my calf muscle (I was wearing short) and that stung like an SOB. 
  2. First thought was "Shit, I just had an ND!"
  3. Second thought was "Bullshit, no way! My finger was COMPLETELY OFF the pistol!"
  4. Third thought was "Wait, don't most people who ND immediately think it's not possible and/or it's not their fault? Maybe it IS my fault?"
  5. Then I investigated and literally found no reason whatsoever that could have made my dream-pistol fire. My finger was still off the frame, there was nothing on my clothes for the trigger to catch on, etc. It just literally "went off by itself". 
  6. Regardless, I was still really really embarrassed by this, because I've been carrying since early summer 2013 and I've never had an ND and that's a point of pride for me. I thought "I wonder what my friends will think of me now?"
  7. I was SO RELIEVED when I woke up this morning and my gun hadn't been fired and there wasn't a hole in the kitchen linoleum. 
Prior to this, the only gun dreams I've had have been the occasional "Ah crap someone wants to hurt me, I guess I need to shoot them now" scenarios and then I pull and pull and pull on the trigger and the dude is getting closer and the trigger is apparently miles away from breaking. I attributed this mostly to worries that I wasn't confident in my abilities, and that I needed more practice and more training. 

This dream, though, is a first. I wonder what it's trying to tell me? If I had legit screwed up, I could see it being a cautionary message of "You're getting sloppy, Erin, and you're going to make a mistake if you aren't careful."  But I very very very clearly remember my trigger finger fully extended and not touching my dream pistol at all. 

So what does this mean?

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