WNW: Gallows humor

My dark mood continues.

First, a few disclaimers:

1. This contains spoilers for the January 16 episode of Battlestar Galactica. Massive, massive spoilers.Heck, even my next statement is a spoiler.
   
2. If you're freaked out by guns or depictions of blood, violence, or suicide, don't watch this.
   
3. The scene is long but important for establishing context. The funny comes at the end.
   
4. Have a towel handy in case you start peeing yourself from laughing too hard.
   

All right. Don't say I didn't warn you...

Link.

I wonder how long it will take before someone makes a music video using this song and clips from movie and TV suicides?

Lie to Me

(spoken)

Hey.
You there.
Tell me I'm the one who sets your world on fire.
Say that I'm the only one that you desire.
Lie to me.

(singing in a minor key)

Hey.
You on the street.
Say that I'm the kind of girl you'd like to meet.
Tell me I make you tingle from your head down to your feet.
Lie to me.

(up tempo)

Tell me that you love me.
Tell me that you care.
Tell me that you need me
Like you need the air.

I know that it's a lie
But it's what I need to hear
To make it through the night
When the Wolf is at my ear.

Hey.
You there.
Lie to me.

(instrumental bridge; key change upward; faster tempo )

Feel like I've been lied to all my whole life
Don't see why that should change even now
Never gonna get to be someone's wife
So lie and say I make your heart go "wow!"

(spoken)
Because even cows get milked once in a while...

(back to original key)

Hey.
You at the bar.
Wanna take me home in your fancy car?
You can even hit me -- it won't leave a scar.
Just lie to me.

Hey.
You on the phone.
Won't you please throw a dog a fucking bone?
All I know is I don't wanna be alone.
Lie, lie to me.

Tell me that you love me.
Tell me that you care.
Tell me that you need me
Like you need the air.

I know that it's a lie
But it's what I need to hear
To make it through the night
When the Wolf is at my ear.

Hey.
You there.
Lie to me.

(fade out)

(spoken; no music; original tempo)

Hey.
You there.
Lie to me.

Twitterpated

Some of you may have noticed that I have given in to the fad and gotten myself a Twitter account. Those of you haven't noticed are directed to the words underneath the picture of cleavage on the right.

This way, if I'm too busy (or too lazy) to update this blog, I will hopefully have something interesting and/or meaningful to Tweet. For instance, this weekend was the drama of "My dad has a heart attack." He's fine now, thanks for asking.

For those who wish a separate bookmark for my gothy Tweets (which should have a better name, like "Sighs of Rapturous Agony" or some such), you may find it here.

A polite request to the political-minded everywhere

Can we please, Please, PLEASE stop talking about Bush now?

Love him or hate him, the man has left office. This President is no more. He has ceased to be a politician. He is an Ex-President.

Let us now, in the spirit of that notable .org, move the fuck on and begin the partisan praising of and/or bitching about Obama.

Let us likewise engage in the nonpartisan skewering of authority figures that our nation is so good at.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Inauguration Day Unity

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

Can we do that? Please? For me?


YES WE CAN.*





* It's my prediction that use of "Yes we can" as a punchline is going to be 2009's "The cake is a lie." I'm not a hypocrite, I'm an early adopter.

Yes you can

WNW: Special Star Wars Friday Edition

I am a slack-ass. But I blame it all on feeling yucky all week, so that's fine.

I will now placate you with not one, but two funny Star Wars YouTubes.

Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it)

My friend Amanda had never seen a whole Star Wars film. When I asked her if she wanted to watch the original trilogy she said that she would, but that she already knew what happens. So I took out my voice recorder and asked her to start from the top.

I then created some very basic animation in Final Cut to go along with her narration.

Link.

"Star Wars" a capella tribute to John Williams
The comedic stylings of Moosebutter, featuring possibly recognizable tunes (Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Indiana Jones, Superman, E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, Jaws, Jurassic Park)

Link.

Great, now they fired the monkeys

I always feel a little weird when I point people to one of Geek Related's posts, because he hits the nail so precisely on the head that paraphrasing them seems like I'm ripping him off and saying "What he said" seems lazy.

Therefore, if you recall when I said this:

Based on all of this, I can only assume that the D&D division of WotC is being run by a particularly retarded group of rhesus monkeys, because this level of gross incompetence is unforgivable.

... then you will know what I mean when I say that somewhere, a group of retarded rhesus monkeys is in search of a job (perhaps in the banking or automotive manufacturing industries?).

Because if your failed, pitiful excuse for an online initiative is now actively preventing dissatisfied customers from cancelling their craptastic subscriptions; and your online representatives are unable to solve the problem; and this asshattery gets reported in the The Consumerist...

Then clearly you have rocks in charge of your (formerly?) multi-million dollar corporation, and are quite happy to watch it auger into the ground and burn in a hellish conflagration.

Seriously. When I called $th Edition (Hah! That was a typo, but by gum I'm keeping it) a disaster of epic proportions, I wasn't being cynical, I was fucking prescient.