Later today (because it's currently Saturday where I am), McThag is coming to Daytona for some kind of car show thing. We're going to hang out afterwards, eating burgers and mocking various spring breakers.
If I don't return, you know whom to blame.
But I think I'll be okay. He's just come out as being a Brony, after all, and we in the Herd are full of love and tolerance for each other. In fact, since we're also gamers and share a weird sense of humor, I think the evening will sound something like this:
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Thursday, March 29, 2012
So I'm reading "The Road"...
...and I'm at the point where the father and son have discovered the fallout shelter. Part of me really wants to stop reading and say "They spent the winter there, and when they came out all the cannibals had starved to death. They went south and lived happily ever after."
Should I do this? Or should I keep reading? Because I just know something horrible is going to happen to one of them.
Should I do this? Or should I keep reading? Because I just know something horrible is going to happen to one of them.
Dominus Vobiscum
Within the past month there have been two deaths within the gunblog community. First it was Neptunus Lex, and now I hear that Newbius has passed. I'm sad to say that I never knew either of them, but that doesn't matter; the death of even the least of us diminishes us all.
Not knowing what to say about this, but wishing to pay my respects to fellow members of my tribe, I'll go to my old standby: a poem I made last year for a funeral service of a friend.
It is my sincerest wish that as they go on to their eternal rewards, they receive a "welcome home" as loving and joyful as this one:
Not knowing what to say about this, but wishing to pay my respects to fellow members of my tribe, I'll go to my old standby: a poem I made last year for a funeral service of a friend.
CHRYSALIS
To all things there is a season
Even trials which, for no reason,
Seem to strike us down without remorse;
And when our time has run its course
We must remember, through our fears
That we are allocated only years.
We are born into this world
Larval, incomplete, and furled
With no knowledge of what awaits us soon;
And then we crawl into cocoons
Of wood and earth, and thence to die
While all around us, mourners ask God why.
In our rebirth, they cannot see
Our souls borne into eternity
As we emerge from our chrysalis.
And so, my love, I tell you this:
As from eternal grace hope springs
A butterfly begins to spread its wings.
It is my sincerest wish that as they go on to their eternal rewards, they receive a "welcome home" as loving and joyful as this one:
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
WNW: A plethora of ponies
First a picture of a little thing I like to call a "yaygun" :
And now, a series of videos about ponies and portals you may find amusing:
1) Prank
2) Delivery Service
3) Lamp Maintenance
4) Rainbow Highway
5) Trust and Cooperation
And now, a series of videos about ponies and portals you may find amusing:
1) Prank
2) Delivery Service
3) Lamp Maintenance
4) Rainbow Highway
5) Trust and Cooperation
Monday, March 26, 2012
Monday Gunday: In Defense of Tube Feeds
I'll come right out and say it: I love tube-fed rifles, and I think they deserve better press.
Don't get me wrong; I own and enjoy several magazine-fed guns. If I was in combat, I would want a magazine-feed for fast and effective reloading. However, I hate magazines at the shooting range for one simple reason:
I never have enough of them and they take forever to load.
If I'm shooting magazines at the range, I have two choices. The first is that I can shoot until I'm empty, and then spend precious range time reloading -- and odds are that by the time I'm finished, the range will go cold for target inspection. The second choice is for me to buy a ton of magazines, and shoot like mad until cease-fire -- and then I have to spend the cease-fire reloading all my magazines.
The upshot is that it always takes longer to load a magazine than it does to empty it, and depending on your skill it falls between "boring" and "arduous".
The tube-feed, on the other hand, is marvelous. I just take my ammunition and, depending on the weapon, either drop the bullets down the tube or shove them up into the tube. Either way, the operation is over in seconds -- longer than it takes to exchange magazines, of course, but much faster than loading a magazine.
I especially love tube-feeds on .22 rifles, because:
So let's imagine we're at the range, plinking at targets. You have a Ruger 10/22, and I have my tube-feed. Whether you are using the stock 10-round Ruger mags, or the much higher capacity after-market banana mags, once they're empty, your fun stops and the drudgery of reloading begins. On the other hand, once I've emptied my tube, all I have to do is unscrew the top, pour a fresh batch of .22LR down the tube like a modern-day powder horn, replace the top and I'm ready to go. I have saved time (by not refilling magazines) and money (by not buying a ton of magazines).
And yet, every time I go to my local gun store, the clerk wants me to trade in my trusty bolt-action for a 10-round semi-auto. I keep telling him why I feel they're superior for the range, and he just cocks his head and looks at me funny like my dogs do when I try to explain why it isn't yet time for walkies.
However, I think I'm making some progress. The last time I was in there, the clerk pointed out that they had just acquired a Marlin 60C -- a .22 semi-auto, tube-fed, rifle.
I can feel my resolve already slipping.
Don't get me wrong; I own and enjoy several magazine-fed guns. If I was in combat, I would want a magazine-feed for fast and effective reloading. However, I hate magazines at the shooting range for one simple reason:
I never have enough of them and they take forever to load.
If I'm shooting magazines at the range, I have two choices. The first is that I can shoot until I'm empty, and then spend precious range time reloading -- and odds are that by the time I'm finished, the range will go cold for target inspection. The second choice is for me to buy a ton of magazines, and shoot like mad until cease-fire -- and then I have to spend the cease-fire reloading all my magazines.
The upshot is that it always takes longer to load a magazine than it does to empty it, and depending on your skill it falls between "boring" and "arduous".
The tube-feed, on the other hand, is marvelous. I just take my ammunition and, depending on the weapon, either drop the bullets down the tube or shove them up into the tube. Either way, the operation is over in seconds -- longer than it takes to exchange magazines, of course, but much faster than loading a magazine.
I especially love tube-feeds on .22 rifles, because:
- You can fit between 12 and 18 rounds of .22LR into a tube, depending on the rifle
- The bullet is so light that it barely affects the forward weight of the rifle
- I can use a Spee-D-Loader to fill a tube about as quickly as a magazine change. Plus, it carries 120 rounds in a ridiculously compact package.
- It will work with ANY tube-fed .22 rifle, whereas magazines are brand-specific.
 |
| http://www.findgunsites.com/articles/Spee-D-Loader.html |
And yet, every time I go to my local gun store, the clerk wants me to trade in my trusty bolt-action for a 10-round semi-auto. I keep telling him why I feel they're superior for the range, and he just cocks his head and looks at me funny like my dogs do when I try to explain why it isn't yet time for walkies.
However, I think I'm making some progress. The last time I was in there, the clerk pointed out that they had just acquired a Marlin 60C -- a .22 semi-auto, tube-fed, rifle.
I can feel my resolve already slipping.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Unknown Ponies: Second Update
Just to keep you guys in the loop, there has been huge interest in this game and I have been deluged with emails. If I haven't replied to you, I apologize. Your email probably got read, tossed into the "reply when I have a moment" pile, and then forgotten. If you're waiting to hear back from me, it would be best if you sent me another mail to remind me. :)
As of this moment, I have 9 character sheets sitting in my email. Please recall that I said I won't run more than 6 players at a time. If you end up not getting picked to play, you have my sincere apologies and a promise that you'll get to play next time.
If you haven't sent in your character sheet yet -- well, there's nothing stopping you, but please realize that there are no guaranteed spots.
I have received the following characters:
The game will start when I have 6 players. No, I am not reserving spots for even my long-time players. I said first come, first served, and I meant it.
Finally, it would be a HUGE help to me if you guys would take your pony pictures and make them your Skype avatar for the day. It will help with characterization during the game. Also, I suck at remembering names.
Thanks!
As of this moment, I have 9 character sheets sitting in my email. Please recall that I said I won't run more than 6 players at a time. If you end up not getting picked to play, you have my sincere apologies and a promise that you'll get to play next time.
If you haven't sent in your character sheet yet -- well, there's nothing stopping you, but please realize that there are no guaranteed spots.
I have received the following characters:
- Jack's Knight (Bobby Fisher)
- Sproutling (Kosetsu)
- Blackfire (Chase Gross)
- Dusk Breeze (Ken Peterson)
- Meridian Vervain (Roscoe Bower)
- Chronicle (Dan Lewis)
- Wild Mane (Alex Horton)
- Nightsky Star (Adam Dickstein)
- Scarlet Shimmer (Jennifer Paradis)
The game will start when I have 6 players. No, I am not reserving spots for even my long-time players. I said first come, first served, and I meant it.
Finally, it would be a HUGE help to me if you guys would take your pony pictures and make them your Skype avatar for the day. It will help with characterization during the game. Also, I suck at remembering names.
Thanks!
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Super Best Friends Forever
In case you missed it last week, the cartoon short I mentioned last week can now be seen in its entirety here.
Character sheets!
As promised, here are the official Unknown Ponies character sheets!
First up, we have a crisp clean PDF from the man whodraws makes writes Friendship is Dragons, the one and only Newbiespud!
But if you're in the mood for something a bit more interactive, then you can also use the form-fillable (but sadly, not savable) PDF from Uncanny 474 (the Element of Unemployment). It even comes with the starting skills already written in!
In a perfect world I'd find a way to combine the two of them. Maybe someday.....
First up, we have a crisp clean PDF from the man who
But if you're in the mood for something a bit more interactive, then you can also use the form-fillable (but sadly, not savable) PDF from Uncanny 474 (the Element of Unemployment). It even comes with the starting skills already written in!
(No picture because I don't have an image of it.)
In a perfect world I'd find a way to combine the two of them. Maybe someday....
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Update on Sunday's Unknown Ponies Game
Wow, I've gotten a huge response to this! In fact, I have more potential players than I can reasonably run at any one time. So let me give some critical information to interested parties:
Due to the massive interest in this game, I am not taking reservations, Participation will be on a first-come, first-served basis, assuming you have a character that's ready to go.
What you need is the following:
Other than that, show up ready to have fun! I hate having to say this, but "ready to have fun" means:
Finally, I make NO PROMISES WHATSOEVER, but I might -- maybe, might, it could happen but it could just as easily not happen -- be able to run an earlier session from 1-5 pm Eastern. I will have to check my schedule.
Due to the massive interest in this game, I am not taking reservations, Participation will be on a first-come, first-served basis, assuming you have a character that's ready to go.
What you need is the following:
- A Skype account that has friended me, so that I can invite you to play
- A working microphone for same (this game will not use video)
- A character sheet for a Blank Flank pony, emailed to me
- Your own copy of the rules & character sheet
- Pencil & two 10 sided dice
Other than that, show up ready to have fun! I hate having to say this, but "ready to have fun" means:
- Don't be a jerk.
- Realize this is supposed to be a fun, lighthearted adventure, not a grimdark dungeon crawl.
- If you're too shy or socially awkward to role-play a cartoon pony over a microphone, this is not the game for you.
Finally, I make NO PROMISES WHATSOEVER, but I might -- maybe, might, it could happen but it could just as easily not happen -- be able to run an earlier session from 1-5 pm Eastern. I will have to check my schedule.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Monday Gunday: Oleg at the Range
No, not that Oleg; this one. When I solicited my readership for names, no one suggested anything better and several agreed that naming my pistol after the man who helped me get it was very appropriate.
But I digress. I hopped over to my friendly semi-local firing range this weekend with my pistol and proceeded to poke holes in a target. Let me tell you guys, those Pearce grip extensions work really, really well! I had a bit of a problem getting the original floorplate off the magazine, but then I found this video:
As for the shooting, I went through about 6 magazines worth of ammunition in 15 minutes, and came out with this target.
A little low at first, yes. Please note that even though the first shots went low, if we consider the bullseye to be a man's chest, every one of them was a hit to the torso. See for yourself as the target is overlaid upon a freshly-laundered Men's T-shirt, sized Medium:
This was done at the closest range on their pistol course, which is 7 yards. Want to know what's interesting? The longest unobstructed path through my house is from the living room to the bedrooms, connected by a hallway. The distance from the furthest bedroom door to the far wall of the living room is also 7 yards -- I've measured it.
In other words, in the highly unlikely event of a home invasion -- in which case I have instructed my family to head back to my room where I maintain our arsenal -- I can retreat into the hallway, create a "fatal funnel", and shoot this accurately. That's a comforting thing to know.
Of course, the bad guys probably won't be obliging enough to stand still, but that's why God invented practice and I have a yearlong range pass.
I like this gun. It fits my hand nicely, the recoil is manageable (better than the one I tested a few weeks back, actually) and the bullets go where I tell them to go. Now I just need to perfect my technique of telling them where to go.
Before I leave: This is Oleg's current configuration, with Pearce Grip extensions and a just-arrived-today Crimson Trace handguard. Badass, no?
Okay, yes, the laser is a luxury. It's also really useful in fast target acquisition, which is important in self-defense scenarios, so I felt the expense was justified.
The next thing for me to do is attend the mandated Concealed Carry course, and then it's just a matter of paperwork standing between me and full-time defensive carry.
Again, thank you all SO MUCH for helping me achieve this.
But I digress. I hopped over to my friendly semi-local firing range this weekend with my pistol and proceeded to poke holes in a target. Let me tell you guys, those Pearce grip extensions work really, really well! I had a bit of a problem getting the original floorplate off the magazine, but then I found this video:
As for the shooting, I went through about 6 magazines worth of ammunition in 15 minutes, and came out with this target.
 |
This was done at the closest range on their pistol course, which is 7 yards. Want to know what's interesting? The longest unobstructed path through my house is from the living room to the bedrooms, connected by a hallway. The distance from the furthest bedroom door to the far wall of the living room is also 7 yards -- I've measured it.
In other words, in the highly unlikely event of a home invasion -- in which case I have instructed my family to head back to my room where I maintain our arsenal -- I can retreat into the hallway, create a "fatal funnel", and shoot this accurately. That's a comforting thing to know.
Of course, the bad guys probably won't be obliging enough to stand still, but that's why God invented practice and I have a yearlong range pass.
I like this gun. It fits my hand nicely, the recoil is manageable (better than the one I tested a few weeks back, actually) and the bullets go where I tell them to go. Now I just need to perfect my technique of telling them where to go.
Before I leave: This is Oleg's current configuration, with Pearce Grip extensions and a just-arrived-today Crimson Trace handguard. Badass, no?
 |
Okay, yes, the laser is a luxury. It's also really useful in fast target acquisition, which is important in self-defense scenarios, so I felt the expense was justified.
The next thing for me to do is attend the mandated Concealed Carry course, and then it's just a matter of paperwork standing between me and full-time defensive carry.
Again, thank you all SO MUCH for helping me achieve this.
Call for Players: Unknown Ponies one-shot adventure
This coming Sunday, March 25, I will be running a game of Unknown Ponies for approximately 3-6 players. The game will run from approximately 8pm - midnight Eastern time. If you are interested in playing, please contact me to reserve a spot and, if necessary, help you with character creation.
All of my Unknown Ponies resources may be found here.
All of my Unknown Ponies resources may be found here.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Blarney Stones
Currently feasting on these. Enjoy!
Blarney Stones
Icing
1 box sifted powdered sugar
½ t. vanilla
½ t. coconut flavoring
½ t. butter flavoring
2/3 c. milk
2 lbs. Spanish peanuts, salted, roasted, & finely chopped
Blend together until smooth all ingredients except peanuts.
Batter
4 eggs
1 c. sugar
3 T. cold water
1 c. flour, sifted
1 t. cream of tartar
1 t. vanilla
½ t. almond extract
Separate eggs and beat the yolks lightly. Add ½ cup sugar, then beat until light & creamy. Add water, flour, cream of tartar, vanilla, & almond extract. Blend well. Beat egg whites until frothy. Add remaining ½ c. sugar to whites & beat until they hold a peak. Fold into the egg mixture carefully. Bake in an ungreased 13x9" pan. Start in a cold oven and bake one hour at 300 degrees. Let cake cool completely. Loosen with a sharp knife. Cut into 1 1/2" cubes and dip into icing, covering all sides. Then roll in finely ground peanuts. If icing gets too thick for dipping, add a few drops of milk.
Blarney Stones
Icing
1 box sifted powdered sugar
½ t. vanilla
½ t. coconut flavoring
½ t. butter flavoring
2/3 c. milk
2 lbs. Spanish peanuts, salted, roasted, & finely chopped
Blend together until smooth all ingredients except peanuts.
Batter
4 eggs
1 c. sugar
3 T. cold water
1 c. flour, sifted
1 t. cream of tartar
1 t. vanilla
½ t. almond extract
Separate eggs and beat the yolks lightly. Add ½ cup sugar, then beat until light & creamy. Add water, flour, cream of tartar, vanilla, & almond extract. Blend well. Beat egg whites until frothy. Add remaining ½ c. sugar to whites & beat until they hold a peak. Fold into the egg mixture carefully. Bake in an ungreased 13x9" pan. Start in a cold oven and bake one hour at 300 degrees. Let cake cool completely. Loosen with a sharp knife. Cut into 1 1/2" cubes and dip into icing, covering all sides. Then roll in finely ground peanuts. If icing gets too thick for dipping, add a few drops of milk.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Meet the newest member of the family
All right, enough crying. Now on to the good stuff!
Yesterday I picked up my Glock 26. He's a Gen 3 (which is fine by me, because the accessories are cheaper and I hear there are reliability problems with the g4 stuff) and by paying a little bit more he came with an extra magazine and a range bag. Since that "little more" is actually less than what a spare mag would cost, I went ahead and splurged.
The "carry" mag is loaded is 115 gr +P JHP by Magtech. The others have regular FMJ practice ammo. (Once I start carrying they'll all have JHP rounds in them.)
A nice close-up... well, about as nice as I can get with a regular digital camera.Fine Austrian craftsmanship in 9mm Luger.
So, since you folks were kind enough to help me buy him, it's only fair that you all get to suggest names for him. I'm rather partial to "Oleg," since it was Mr. Volk who helped advise me throughout this whole endeavor, and whose global reach was responsible for rather a lot of contributions.
But that's just my nomination. What do the rest of you suggest?
Yesterday I picked up my Glock 26. He's a Gen 3 (which is fine by me, because the accessories are cheaper and I hear there are reliability problems with the g4 stuff) and by paying a little bit more he came with an extra magazine and a range bag. Since that "little more" is actually less than what a spare mag would cost, I went ahead and splurged.
The "carry" mag is loaded is 115 gr +P JHP by Magtech. The others have regular FMJ practice ammo. (Once I start carrying they'll all have JHP rounds in them.)
A nice close-up... well, about as nice as I can get with a regular digital camera.Fine Austrian craftsmanship in 9mm Luger.
So, since you folks were kind enough to help me buy him, it's only fair that you all get to suggest names for him. I'm rather partial to "Oleg," since it was Mr. Volk who helped advise me throughout this whole endeavor, and whose global reach was responsible for rather a lot of contributions.
But that's just my nomination. What do the rest of you suggest?
An Embarassment of Riches
Oh, you guys. Last Sunday was my birthday, and thanks to you kind folks (most, but not all, of whom are gunnies) it's been the best birthday I've had in a long, long time. I love you all. :D
I have been advised by certain knowledgeable people that I should not disclose the exact amount I raised lest I invoke the dread gaze of the IRS, but I do want to say that you folks went far above and beyond what was necessary to help me acquire a carry pistol, a permit, and training. I will be sending out thank-you notes later this week.
In one of her posts, A Girl says she sometimes feels guilty, as if all she does is take. Well, let me tell you something: this wonderful woman has given away self-defense training, has helped me get a pistol for concealed carry, and is in the process of giving away even more training. That's not taking; that's very much the example of giving. Meanwhile, here I was, begging strangers to give me money so I could buy a gun I should have been able to get for myself. That is taking, and I have to admit, as the donations came pouring in from as far away as the Czech Republic, I felt terribly embarrassed and unworthy to received such generosity.
As Oleg recently advised me: "Get over your guilt issues. They are not terminal. You aren't getting repeat donations -- people are giving you what would have otherwise gone to political campaigns or similar. For some reason, people feel you merit that. Isn't it nice to be valued for reasons other than T&A?"
Wise man, that Oleg. Still, there's a part of me that worries I received donations solely because I am female. I don't honestly think that's the case -- I believe you folks would have donated to anyone who asked, be they male or female, straight or gay, because it's something you strongly believe in -- but it's still something that gives me pause. I like to fret, I guess.
Anyway, what I am getting at is that I have been overfunded such that I feel I can't, in good conscience, keep all of this money. I feel like I should give some it to charities like Wounded Warrior, or other folks in need, or contribute to A Girl's training giveaway. But then I think, "Well, isn't that rude! These folks gave me money for a gun and a permit and ammo and training, and to spend it on anything else is an insult to their intentions, regardless of whether they will know about it or not."
Again, I feel like the gun community has given me so much, and all I've really done is take.
The only thing I can do, I guess, is to promise everyone that I am good for it; and I deserve this; and that I will give back to the gun community with my time and my effort and my love, even if I can't give back financially.
I love you all so much. You've made little sister cry, but in a very, very good way.
I have been advised by certain knowledgeable people that I should not disclose the exact amount I raised lest I invoke the dread gaze of the IRS, but I do want to say that you folks went far above and beyond what was necessary to help me acquire a carry pistol, a permit, and training. I will be sending out thank-you notes later this week.
In one of her posts, A Girl says she sometimes feels guilty, as if all she does is take. Well, let me tell you something: this wonderful woman has given away self-defense training, has helped me get a pistol for concealed carry, and is in the process of giving away even more training. That's not taking; that's very much the example of giving. Meanwhile, here I was, begging strangers to give me money so I could buy a gun I should have been able to get for myself. That is taking, and I have to admit, as the donations came pouring in from as far away as the Czech Republic, I felt terribly embarrassed and unworthy to received such generosity.
As Oleg recently advised me: "Get over your guilt issues. They are not terminal. You aren't getting repeat donations -- people are giving you what would have otherwise gone to political campaigns or similar. For some reason, people feel you merit that. Isn't it nice to be valued for reasons other than T&A?"
Wise man, that Oleg. Still, there's a part of me that worries I received donations solely because I am female. I don't honestly think that's the case -- I believe you folks would have donated to anyone who asked, be they male or female, straight or gay, because it's something you strongly believe in -- but it's still something that gives me pause. I like to fret, I guess.
Anyway, what I am getting at is that I have been overfunded such that I feel I can't, in good conscience, keep all of this money. I feel like I should give some it to charities like Wounded Warrior, or other folks in need, or contribute to A Girl's training giveaway. But then I think, "Well, isn't that rude! These folks gave me money for a gun and a permit and ammo and training, and to spend it on anything else is an insult to their intentions, regardless of whether they will know about it or not."
Again, I feel like the gun community has given me so much, and all I've really done is take.
The only thing I can do, I guess, is to promise everyone that I am good for it; and I deserve this; and that I will give back to the gun community with my time and my effort and my love, even if I can't give back financially.
I love you all so much. You've made little sister cry, but in a very, very good way.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Crowlander
Aha, you have fallen for my cunning ploy! Now I shall tell you why I think The Crow is a Highlander movie in disguise.
First things first: it has nothing to do with Eric Draven. He's a revenant, a ghost given flesh in order to extract revenge. No, the real reason for "Crowlander" is Top Dollar. Sure, he's a charismatic psychopath who rules a criminal empire, but I maintain he's also an immortal.
Exhibit 1: A Closet Full of Swords
Knives? Sure, he's a villain. One sword? Why not, he's filthy rich, he can be eccentric. But an entire armory of swords? Easily accessible? That he's clearly practiced with?
There's also the fact that this man, who clearly must have enemies both in the police and organized crime, doesn't carry a sidearm. In fact, he has to borrow one from his bodyguard.
Okay, yes, by itself this isn't convincing. Moving on...
Exhibit 2: Intelligent Anti-Immortal Tactics
All right, so in the previous example Top Dollar hears from a trusted lieutenant and a groveling flunky that there's a guy out there who gets shot/jumps out of windows/etc and keeps on trucking in his quest for vengeance, and this doesn't faze him in the least. He doesn't question the apparent insanity of it all. He just goes "Hmm, that's interesting."
So when he arranges things to have Draven's last person on the "to-kill" list in the room with him, he also arranges to be surrounded by dozens of armed goons. This is good strategy, because as we've learned from the Highlander films and TV show, immortals can be killed conventionally -- they just don't stay dead. So obviously his plan is for his goons to shoot Draven, whereupon Top Dollar can take his rival's head easily.
Except that he's surprised when Draven shows up, because he doesn't get that characteristic "buzz" immortals get when they meet each other. So he thinks that, maybe, this guy is just a loon hopped up on drugs.
And then he is totally gobsmacked when it turns out his opponent is immortal after all.
Also: a katana shows up in this fight scene. Because when I think of "Immortal Scottish warriors," I think of ancient samurai swords.
Exhibit 3: Running to Holy Ground
Because that's what you do when you're immortal and you don't want to fight another one. Why else would this incredibly rich, incredibly dangerous man hide in an old abandoned cathedral?
Also, kindly note how neither his bodyguard nor his sister are all freaked out by this. "He has power you can take," she says, and T.D. replies with "I like him already." Even as he's running for his life, Top Dollar is planning how best to take Draven's Quickening.
Exhibit 4: Swordfighting in a Lightning Storm
Some of you may be asking, "What about the proscription against fighting on holy ground?" Well, first, that prohibition is only between immortals. So when T.D. has his assassin take a shot at Draven's totem bird, that's allowable. And when that results in Draven losing his powers, Top Dollar now knows for certain that he isn't fighting another immortal... and therefore the rules don't apply.
If you're a fan of the series, you know that electricity is a metaphor for the Quickening, so it's no surprise that the final battle of the movie takes place where there is lots and lots of it about. Oh, and look, Top Dollar uses another katana.
Conclusion: Top Dollar is an Immortal
The only question this begs is, "What happened to him afterwards, since his head wasn't taken?" To my mind, there are two possibilities.
One possibility is that his hired goons in the police department -- come on, if you're an immortal crimelord you're going to have some cops in your pocket -- pulled him out of the morgue and falsified the burial data. After this he probably spent the rest of his life hiding from ghost-men before another immortal (probably Duncan) took his head.
Another is that the supernatural vengeance of Draven ("Thirty hours of pain. All at once! All for you!") was able to short-circuit immortal healing, leaving Top Dollar permanently brain-dead, if not dead-dead.
Either way: he was totally an immortal in that movie.
First things first: it has nothing to do with Eric Draven. He's a revenant, a ghost given flesh in order to extract revenge. No, the real reason for "Crowlander" is Top Dollar. Sure, he's a charismatic psychopath who rules a criminal empire, but I maintain he's also an immortal.
Exhibit 1: A Closet Full of Swords
Knives? Sure, he's a villain. One sword? Why not, he's filthy rich, he can be eccentric. But an entire armory of swords? Easily accessible? That he's clearly practiced with?
There's also the fact that this man, who clearly must have enemies both in the police and organized crime, doesn't carry a sidearm. In fact, he has to borrow one from his bodyguard.
Okay, yes, by itself this isn't convincing. Moving on...
Exhibit 2: Intelligent Anti-Immortal Tactics
All right, so in the previous example Top Dollar hears from a trusted lieutenant and a groveling flunky that there's a guy out there who gets shot/jumps out of windows/etc and keeps on trucking in his quest for vengeance, and this doesn't faze him in the least. He doesn't question the apparent insanity of it all. He just goes "Hmm, that's interesting."
So when he arranges things to have Draven's last person on the "to-kill" list in the room with him, he also arranges to be surrounded by dozens of armed goons. This is good strategy, because as we've learned from the Highlander films and TV show, immortals can be killed conventionally -- they just don't stay dead. So obviously his plan is for his goons to shoot Draven, whereupon Top Dollar can take his rival's head easily.
Except that he's surprised when Draven shows up, because he doesn't get that characteristic "buzz" immortals get when they meet each other. So he thinks that, maybe, this guy is just a loon hopped up on drugs.
And then he is totally gobsmacked when it turns out his opponent is immortal after all.
Also: a katana shows up in this fight scene. Because when I think of "Immortal Scottish warriors," I think of ancient samurai swords.
Exhibit 3: Running to Holy Ground
Because that's what you do when you're immortal and you don't want to fight another one. Why else would this incredibly rich, incredibly dangerous man hide in an old abandoned cathedral?
Also, kindly note how neither his bodyguard nor his sister are all freaked out by this. "He has power you can take," she says, and T.D. replies with "I like him already." Even as he's running for his life, Top Dollar is planning how best to take Draven's Quickening.
Exhibit 4: Swordfighting in a Lightning Storm
Some of you may be asking, "What about the proscription against fighting on holy ground?" Well, first, that prohibition is only between immortals. So when T.D. has his assassin take a shot at Draven's totem bird, that's allowable. And when that results in Draven losing his powers, Top Dollar now knows for certain that he isn't fighting another immortal... and therefore the rules don't apply.
If you're a fan of the series, you know that electricity is a metaphor for the Quickening, so it's no surprise that the final battle of the movie takes place where there is lots and lots of it about. Oh, and look, Top Dollar uses another katana.
Conclusion: Top Dollar is an Immortal
The only question this begs is, "What happened to him afterwards, since his head wasn't taken?" To my mind, there are two possibilities.
One possibility is that his hired goons in the police department -- come on, if you're an immortal crimelord you're going to have some cops in your pocket -- pulled him out of the morgue and falsified the burial data. After this he probably spent the rest of his life hiding from ghost-men before another immortal (probably Duncan) took his head.
Another is that the supernatural vengeance of Draven ("Thirty hours of pain. All at once! All for you!") was able to short-circuit immortal healing, leaving Top Dollar permanently brain-dead, if not dead-dead.
Either way: he was totally an immortal in that movie.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Teaser
One of these days y'all should ask me why I think The Crow is actually set in the Highlander universe.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Monday Gunday Postscript
I put half down on a Glock 26 last week and filled out the paperwork. I should be able to pick it up on Wednesday. I'm so excited! Pictures will DEFINITELY follow, as will thanks to everyone who contributed.
Who knew it was possible to crowdsource a pistol?
Who knew it was possible to crowdsource a pistol?
Monday Gunday: at the Intersection of Awesome and Ridiculous
.. lies this gun.
I.. I don't know what to say about it. This is like the Michael Bay (or possibly Rob Liefeld) of handguns: It's bulky, heavy, expensive, overblown, and prone to massive overkill.
On the other hand, I can't deny the effectiveness of firing two bullets at once; there's a reason that police learn the "double tap" method of shooting, and this gives an effective double tap with a single trigger pull.
English needs a word that adequately describes "possessing qualities both sublime and repugnant."
I.. I don't know what to say about it. This is like the Michael Bay (or possibly Rob Liefeld) of handguns: It's bulky, heavy, expensive, overblown, and prone to massive overkill.
On the other hand, I can't deny the effectiveness of firing two bullets at once; there's a reason that police learn the "double tap" method of shooting, and this gives an effective double tap with a single trigger pull.
English needs a word that adequately describes "possessing qualities both sublime and repugnant."
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Saturday Night Special
I just realized I got distracted and didn't put up a Wednesday Night Wackiness this week. So I'll just leave this here...
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Unknown Ponies: Zebra Alchemy
Zebras are just Ponies from a faraway land. While they look exotic and have unusual methods of speaking (usually in rhyme), they are functionally no different from other Earth Ponies. They do however have one skill unique to their people: Alchemy, the study of potions both magical and mundane.
Alchemy is a Mind skill which only Zebras may possess during character generation. However, anypony may learn to use it, provided they have a teacher.
Just like any sort of magic, Alchemy comes with its own strange set of rules. Take it away, Zecora!
So you wish to have a notion
How to mix up zebra potion?
Gathering up potion ingredients
Is never simple nor expedient.
Your potion only affects life;
Not rock, nor dirt, nor carving knife.
If you meddle in ponies' feelings,
You do not know with what you're dealing!
When Ponymaster hears your song
She might just say "It's much too strong."
As you describe your potion's effect
Every rhyme you must not neglect!
So you must be the potion's master
Or careless rhyme will cause disaster.
Slightly Crunchier Rules
The rules for potions are actually pretty simple:
Alchemy is a Mind skill which only Zebras may possess during character generation. However, anypony may learn to use it, provided they have a teacher.
Just like any sort of magic, Alchemy comes with its own strange set of rules. Take it away, Zecora!
How to mix up zebra potion?
Gathering up potion ingredients
Is never simple nor expedient.
Your potion only affects life;
Not rock, nor dirt, nor carving knife.
If you meddle in ponies' feelings,
You do not know with what you're dealing!
When Ponymaster hears your song
She might just say "It's much too strong."
As you describe your potion's effect
Every rhyme you must not neglect!
So you must be the potion's master
Or careless rhyme will cause disaster.
Slightly Crunchier Rules
The rules for potions are actually pretty simple:
- Decide what the potion will do. As stated above, it only affects living things. The best way to describe its abilities is to say that alchemy cannot change a thing's nature: if it was a pony when it started, then you can't change into a non-pony. However, you can take what a pony is and take that, for good or for ill, further than it could naturally go on its own. As a curse-breaker, alchemy can look at a thing's true nature and change that thing back into what it was.
- Based on this description, the PM decides whether this potion is Minor, Significant, or Major. Minor potions are just that: perhaps they change the color of a pony's mane, or create fireworks, or soothe a sore throat. Significant potions are more powerful, transformative or curative in nature. (Most of Zecora's potions within the show are Significant.) Major potions are just that: if it makes the PM say "Whoah," then it's likely Major.
- The ponies must gather ingredients. For Minor potions, it's as simple as going to the market, or perhaps rooting around in a garden -- something which can be accomplished quickly and easily. Significant potions are much rarer, and require a side-quest or mini-adventure to achieve -- perhaps a rare herb that grows in only one corner of the Everfree Forest. This should take approximately one Act to complete. (Example: the "Love Poison" from Hearts and Hooves Day.) Major potions are the stuff of legend, and require a quest just to themselves to complete.
- Make a rhyming couplet that describes what the potion does. Yes, it has to rhyme -- and scan.. If it doesn't, the potion will fail. The exact results are up to the Ponymaster, but a slight mis-rhyme (such as "orange" and "porridge") will likely only have small or cosmetic side-effects. However, terrible rhymes, broken meter, or attitude such as "I don't want to make a stupid rhyme, just let me roll the dice" will result in hilarious, epic failure of the sort that would make even the Cutie Mark Crusaders look highly competent.
- Now it's time to roll. Don't fail. Consider spending a Magic point.
- The Ponymaster now considers is then free to twist the wording like a Genie's wish. Naturally, the more carefully worded the rhyme, or the better the roll, the more likely it is to work. Also, more moderate wishes ("I want nice hair") are much more likely to succeed than greedy or outlandish ones ("I want to have pegasus wings and a unicorn horn!"). Take full advantage of unintended consequences, especially if the potion changes free will or emotional states.
- Watch as hijinks ensue.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Can't stop the Derp
If you like ponies, and you like Derpy Hooves, then you need this DVD. Not only does it contain 5 of the better MLP:FiM episodes, it also features the correct and canonical depiction of Derpy Hooves.
Buy it. Enjoy it. Show it to your friends. Proselytize with it. Go door to door, if necessary, to convert the heathen.
And if Hasbro decides to remove the references to Derpy, like they did in iTunes?
Copy and share the shit out of the episode.
 |
| Indeed, Boromir. Indeed. |
I don't care
I'm still free
You can't take the Derp from me
Monday Gunday: Pewpewpew
The next exciting chapter of Erin Gets a Glock!
Step 1 of buying a concealed carry pistol: Rent one and see how it shoots.
Today I went to the Hot Shot Shooting Range in Holly Hill. Built alongside a gun store-slash-pawn shop, it is a nicely air-conditioned indoor range for pistol-caliber weapons.
I decided to ignore my own advice and wear my best Derpy shirt for shooting. After all, what could possibly go wrong? ;)
In this instance, not a thing. I rented a Glock 26 and after a quick safety briefing I started shooting. The range required me to buy my ammo there, so I shot a box of 50 rounds. The first target was at 25 feet (not yards!):
The first 10 rounds went lower than I expected, but other than the one flier which hit his hip/thigh/leg thing, everything was in the vital zone: lots of nasty gut shots, a shattered pelvis, and a couple of spinal hits. Once I figured I was aiming low, I loaded up another magazine and hit all sorts of fun internal organs like the heart, lungs, and more guts, along with more spine hits.
I do believe I have killed this target.
So I got another one and sent it out to 50 feet:
You're right, this isn't as good. Still, have I mentioned this was my very first time shooting any sort of a semi-auto pistol, let alone this particular model? Still, 22 bullets out of 30 managed to hit Mr. Blue here, and 14 of them were in the "vitals zone". I'm particularly pleased with my lowest shot there... it was a complete accident, but my bad guy had a very bad day for however long he was still conscious.
You will note no headshots. This is deliberate as I was aiming for center of mass the entire time. I'll go headhunting later.
All in all, this little excursion cost me about $50. Here is the price breakdown:
Why didn't I shoot other guns? For one, it was expensive, and I am still in "stingy poor person mode." Also, I honestly didn't see the need -- the Glock 26 felt good in my hand, the recoil was manageable, and you can plainly see that I could control it well enough to hit my target.
Why a 26 and not a 19 as I had previously stated? Looking at and holding the two of them, the 19 is just too damn big to carry concealed. If I could carry openly, then yes, I would get a 19. Sadly, Florida isn't an open carry state (yet). So I went with the Baby Glock, and was quite happy with the recoil and the grip. (It helps that I have tiny chipmunk hands, which made getting a solid grip on a small handle easier.)
Some handy size comparisons:
So in conclusion:
Step 1 of buying a concealed carry pistol: Rent one and see how it shoots.
Today I went to the Hot Shot Shooting Range in Holly Hill. Built alongside a gun store-slash-pawn shop, it is a nicely air-conditioned indoor range for pistol-caliber weapons.
I decided to ignore my own advice and wear my best Derpy shirt for shooting. After all, what could possibly go wrong? ;)
 |
| I just don't know what went bang! |
In this instance, not a thing. I rented a Glock 26 and after a quick safety briefing I started shooting. The range required me to buy my ammo there, so I shot a box of 50 rounds. The first target was at 25 feet (not yards!):
The first 10 rounds went lower than I expected, but other than the one flier which hit his hip/thigh/leg thing, everything was in the vital zone: lots of nasty gut shots, a shattered pelvis, and a couple of spinal hits. Once I figured I was aiming low, I loaded up another magazine and hit all sorts of fun internal organs like the heart, lungs, and more guts, along with more spine hits.
I do believe I have killed this target.
So I got another one and sent it out to 50 feet:
You're right, this isn't as good. Still, have I mentioned this was my very first time shooting any sort of a semi-auto pistol, let alone this particular model? Still, 22 bullets out of 30 managed to hit Mr. Blue here, and 14 of them were in the "vitals zone". I'm particularly pleased with my lowest shot there... it was a complete accident, but my bad guy had a very bad day for however long he was still conscious.
You will note no headshots. This is deliberate as I was aiming for center of mass the entire time. I'll go headhunting later.
All in all, this little excursion cost me about $50. Here is the price breakdown:
- Lane rental: $15
- Pistol rental: $10
- Ammunition: $15 (all rented guns must buy ammo from the shop)
- Targets: $2
- Various taxes and fees: $5-ish
Why didn't I shoot other guns? For one, it was expensive, and I am still in "stingy poor person mode." Also, I honestly didn't see the need -- the Glock 26 felt good in my hand, the recoil was manageable, and you can plainly see that I could control it well enough to hit my target.
Why a 26 and not a 19 as I had previously stated? Looking at and holding the two of them, the 19 is just too damn big to carry concealed. If I could carry openly, then yes, I would get a 19. Sadly, Florida isn't an open carry state (yet). So I went with the Baby Glock, and was quite happy with the recoil and the grip. (It helps that I have tiny chipmunk hands, which made getting a solid grip on a small handle easier.)
Some handy size comparisons:
 |
| Top to bottom: Glock 17, 19, and 26. |
 |
| Top to bottom: Glock 26, 19, 17. |
So in conclusion:
- I'm going to get a Glock 26.
- I would recommend the Hot Shot Shooting Range to anyone. A+ experience, would go again.
- I can shoot like a mofo.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
I've been tagged
To the nice gunnies who tagged me with various awards in the wake of my anti-troll efforts: Thank You! I don't think I've ever gotten any of these "blog awards" before, and it's very nice to have my efforts recognized. Y'all know how to make a gal feel special!
However, I am going to claim a blonde moment and say that I have completely lost track of who gave me what. So if you wouldn't mind, please reply here with your name and a link to your post, so I can get about the business of passing on these awards to other deserving folks.
Thank'ee kindly!
However, I am going to claim a blonde moment and say that I have completely lost track of who gave me what. So if you wouldn't mind, please reply here with your name and a link to your post, so I can get about the business of passing on these awards to other deserving folks.
Thank'ee kindly!
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Sometimes I wonder
... what the various subscribers to this blog think when they come upon its varied and contradictory output.
The bronies who subscribed after my weeks-long opus on My Little Pony were probably shocked and horrified to discover that I like to own and shoot guns.
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Gunbloggers, on the other hand, probably (quite literally) wondered "What is this happy horse shit?" upon seeing that a fellow shooter also enjoys magical talking pastel cartoon ponies.
The role-players are probably taking sides with one of the above groups, and the creative-writing people are sitting in a corner smoking cigarettes and muttering about when I'm going to put out more Curse/Or. The only people I think I please on a consistent basis are the Discordians.
Fear, confusion, and annoyance. My work here is done. ;)
The bronies who subscribed after my weeks-long opus on My Little Pony were probably shocked and horrified to discover that I like to own and shoot guns.
.png)
Gunbloggers, on the other hand, probably (quite literally) wondered "What is this happy horse shit?" upon seeing that a fellow shooter also enjoys magical talking pastel cartoon ponies.
The role-players are probably taking sides with one of the above groups, and the creative-writing people are sitting in a corner smoking cigarettes and muttering about when I'm going to put out more Curse/Or. The only people I think I please on a consistent basis are the Discordians.
Fear, confusion, and annoyance. My work here is done. ;)
Unknown Ponies Page
Unknown Ponies: Failure is Awesome now has its own page on this blog. Hopefully this will make finding links to the darn thing easier!
By the way, if you'd like to contribute to development of UPFiA, please let me know! I need help with the following:
Thanks! And remember... Stay pony, my friends.
By the way, if you'd like to contribute to development of UPFiA, please let me know! I need help with the following:
- Statting up NPCs (specifically the Cutie Mark Crusaders, though anypony not in the Mane 6 will do)
- Coming up with adventure seeds (or actual written adventures!)
- Rules expansions or clarifications which enhance fun and are not rules for rules' sake.
Thanks! And remember... Stay pony, my friends.
