An Embarassment of Riches

Oh, you guys. Last Sunday was my birthday, and thanks to you kind folks (most, but not all, of whom are gunnies) it's been the best birthday I've had in a long, long time. I love you all. :D

I have been advised by certain knowledgeable people that I should not disclose the exact amount I raised lest I invoke the dread gaze of the IRS, but I do want to say that you folks went far above and beyond what was necessary to help me acquire a carry pistol, a permit, and training. I will be sending out thank-you notes later this week.

In one of her posts, A Girl says she sometimes feels guilty, as if all she does is take. Well, let me tell you something: this wonderful woman has given away self-defense training, has helped me get a pistol for concealed carry, and is in the process of giving away even more training. That's not taking; that's very much the example of giving. Meanwhile, here I was, begging strangers to give me money so I could buy a gun I should have been able to get for myself. That is taking, and I have to admit, as the donations came pouring in from as far away as the Czech Republic, I felt terribly embarrassed and unworthy to received such generosity.

As Oleg recently advised me: "Get over your guilt issues. They are not terminal. You aren't getting repeat donations -- people are giving you what would have otherwise gone to political campaigns or similar. For some reason, people feel you merit that. Isn't it nice to be valued for reasons other than T&A?"

Wise man, that Oleg. Still, there's a part of me that worries I received donations solely because I am female. I don't honestly think that's the case -- I believe you folks would have donated to anyone who asked, be they male or female, straight or gay, because it's something you strongly believe in -- but it's still something that gives me pause. I like to fret, I guess.

Anyway, what I am getting at is that I have been overfunded such that I feel I can't, in good conscience, keep all of this money. I feel like I should give some it to charities like Wounded Warrior, or other folks in need, or contribute to A Girl's training giveaway. But then I think, "Well, isn't that rude! These folks gave me money for a gun and a permit and ammo and training, and to spend it on anything else is an insult to their intentions, regardless of whether they will know about it or not."

Again, I feel like the gun community has given me so much, and all I've really done is take.

The only thing I can do, I guess, is to promise everyone that I am good for it; and I deserve this; and that I will give back to the gun community with my time and my effort and my love, even if I can't give back financially.

I love you all so much. You've made little sister cry, but in a very, very good way.