Thursday, February 12, 2015

No More Peter Parker

Oh so much to talk about lately..
So the Marvel Cinematic Universe has grown just a little more grander, as Sony and Marvel have finally reached an agreement to share Spider-man. Which I'm more than a little glad to hear, as Sony's been spinnings its wheels pretty hard trying to get Spidey over again, and it continues the trend of Marvel gobbling up its properties since it struck out on its own and started being profitable again by making the mostly excellent MCU films and live-action properties such as Agent Carter and Agents of SHIELD.

Yay, right? ...right? Truth be told, I've never really been a fan of Spider-man.

Pictured: Me not being a Spider-man fan

Ok, well, let me specify. Peter Parker kinda bores me. He's a nerdy guy with super powers that talks a mile a minute when he's in the mask. Parker really just doesn't do it for me. I appreciate his prominence and his importance in not only the storytelling structure of the Marvel universe, but as one of the faces of comics to the world at large. I mean, the man's got his own 3D theme park ride (which is pretty fun – I got to ride it a few weeks ago. Only complaint is that it runs at 30 frames per second). He's had one of the longest-running comic books of all time, more animated series than even Batman, multiple feature films (even before super-hero movies really took off) and video games, etc, etc.

Almost all of it focused on Peter Parker. I really can't see how people can't be suffering Parker burnout at this point, especially given the 5 feature films over the last 12 years focused around him. By the end of the first movie, I'd already gotten sick of Tobey Maguire's doughy, weepy face and I'd never liked Kirstin Dunst as Mary Jane. Andrew Garfield actually made me start to like Parker, and Emma Stone is perfect in nearly anything (shout-out to the far superior Gwen Stacy), which makes it a little bit of a shame that we won't see these two back again for a third film. Marvel's looking at rebooting the franchise yet again for the MCU, which irritates me to no end.

But some of Spidey's supporting cast is really interesting.

So here's the Spider-film Salem would make. Spider-man already exists. No origin story. We know how it happened. That ground has not only been covered, but it's been paved, re-paved, and turned into a freeway, hit by a comet, abandoned, then turned into renewable farmland. So not only do we go in with the premise that he's already been Spidey, but that he's worked with the brains of the MCU already. He knows Tony Stark, he's butted heads with Nick Fury, done a back-flip off of Cap's shield, and been terribly awkward around Black Widow. He's older, more experienced. He's still Peter Parker, but he's much further along in his career. I mean, at this point who hasn't seen at least the last two films?

Cue the twist: Anya Corazon. The current Spider-girl is a character I'm actually quite fond of. Her dad was friends with the Fantastic Four. She's worked alongside some of the best in the Marvel U, and she's faced down some pretty hefty threats including the Red Hulk. So we re-align some of the events and people in her life to fit. 

And she's the gosh-darn Spider-girl

As previously discussed, Parker's established. He regularly works with Tony Stark. Her father, who was friends with Reed Richards in the comics, is now the go-to reporter for Stark. So let's say there's an attempt to get to Stark by the Sisterhood of the Wasp through Happy Hogan. Hogan's attacked by them, and as we all know he's not terribly adept at physical combat, so he's taking a beating. Anya, on her way to meet her father, is with Hogan, and jumps in the way of a kill-shot. Hogan calls it in and Stark and Parker show up as backup in full costume/armor. Anya's fatally wounded, but Stark thinks he has an answer..

Through a combination of a blood transfusion with Parker and Stark engineering, Anya's life is saved and she's enhanced with powers similar to Parker's. We skip most of the mysticism of her original powers as well as the “Spider Island” origin of her current powers, and tie her and Parker into the current MCU. Additionally, if Marvel wants to skip turning General “Thunderbolt” Ross into Red Hulk, we can use Banner's Hulk (any excuse for more Mark Ruffalo) for her to play off of and just compress the Ravens and the Sisterhood of the Wasp into the same storyline and have Parker mentoring her while they and Hulk take out the Wasps.

This would also set her up as a secondary character in the Captain Marvel film(s), sort of like Black Widow in The Winter Soldier, as she's regularly worked with Carol Danvers as both Ms and Captain Marvel. Granted, this is all in my head, and I sincerely doubt Kevin Feige is reading Erin's blog, but if he is..

Call me, Kev. We can make this work.

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