Wednesday, November 30, 2022

Post-Thanksgiving After Action Report

I recognize that "post-Thanksgiving" probably renders "after action" redundant, but it has the feel that I like and je suis un artiste, so what I want is what you get. 

Thanksgiving was pretty standard and blessedly non-dramatic. We had a smaller bird because there's just the two of us (and our two dogs) now, so instead of a 20+ pound turkey this one was in the teens. Normally, the turkey sticks around for weeks and I'm sick of it, but this time it was all eaten by Saturday and I felt like I hadn't gotten my fill. Amusingly, we still have plenty of side dishes left. 

Speaking of side dishes, this will trigger some of you and appeal to the rest: genuine Ocean Spray-brand cranberry jelly, fresh from the can, sliced and presented on a crystal serving dish. We're just fancy like that.



I've been fairly busy since then, lack of blogging here notwithstanding. Last week I wrote not one but two articles for Blue Collar Prepping, one about how to shoot an azimuth for land navigation and the other about using trigonometry to find the distance to an object towards which you want to travel. Yes, I used math! Not just basic arithmetic, but actual high-school level math with hypotenuses and tangents! Math which I haven't used since last century! And I got it all correct! This is a massive achievement for me, and you should be very proud of me, because I am, and this moment may never come again. 

One reason I was able to write last week is because Mom is toning down the Christmas Crazy this year. Some of it is because of her age; she's slowing down and doesn't have the energy to do everything, so she's prioritizing. This has reduced the usual Christmas stress to a much more tolerable level. I might even be able to enjoy the holiday this year. 

Another thing dropping the stress is that, after years of Mom saying "I know you're getting older and putting up the roof lights isn't easy, so when you're ready to call it quits just say so and that's fine, " I've decided to take her up on her offer. I've persisted for years despite it being a literal pain in my back (I have arthritis in my lower back -- joy -- and the constant up-down-up-down of hanging icicle lights from a slanted roof, often in the blazing Florida sun, wipes me out), but I did it for her because she loves pretty Christmas lights so much. Not only does she love them on her house, but every Christmas she asks me to drive her around the neighborhood so she can appreciate the decorations. 

This year, though, was the year I called it quits. It seemed like everything was giving me trouble: more lights than usual were burned out, the ladder needed both of us to wrestle it into place, my back was hurting like a sumbitch, and the temperature was high with a high humidity that turned it into a sauna. Then, when I finally got up there, first I needed to replace ALL of the clips which had been removed when our roof was replaced... and I discovered I couldn't fit the clips under the tiles to mount them. 

I probably could have forced the clips under the tiles, but 1) that seemed like an insurmountable effort at the time and 2) I was worried I'd screw things up and somehow breach the seal integrity of the new roof. I just felt like God and/or the Universe was telling me it was my time to be done, so I took it. I had planned to go at least one more Christmas, because I'll be 50 next year and that seems like a good age to stop dicking around on rooftops, but retirement came a bit early. Mom accepted it with grace; I think I feel worse about not being able to make the house pretty for her than she does about it. 

Finally, I've been kind of on fire lately in regards to Twitter. I'm not on it a lot, but after the Club Q shooting there's been the usual name-calling, virtue-signaling and pearl-clutching from the prohibitionists, and that's afforded me the opportunity to make some very cutting points. I don't go out of my way to be a jerk, but when I get tagged in some bad faith arguments, I like to vent my spleen. 

Example 1:


In case folks were wondering why I bothered replying to a nobody, it's because Everytown was tagged and I want them to see this.

Example #2:

I do so love it when our European "betters" decide to lecture us on how to run our country, doubly so when they're German. 

I expect Herr Brusco to block me any moment now. 

Oh yes, speaking of "Go Fuck Yourself", here is a new design that will be uploaded to the OBS-PP storefront once the final tweaks are finished:



In case you're wondering what King Leonidas' famous imperative has to do with Oedipus, consider the latter's relationship with his mother. 

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Posted by Erin Palette at 11/30/2022

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