Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Atlas LOLed

Sometimes an idea leaps unbidden into my mind. Sometimes it is perfect and fully-formed, like Aphrodite rising from the sea.

Sometimes it is utterly batshit crazy.

Today is one of those days, because just now, I had this startling revelation:

LOLcats are the new Objectivists.

The evidence for my case is staggeringly simple. First I will list the Objectivist Axioms, and their classical examples, and then I will list the modern LOLcat example thereof.
  1. Axiom of Existence: To be aware is to be aware of something. I can haz cheezburger?
  2. Axiom of Identity: A is A. Longcat is long.
  3. Axiom of Consciousness: Consciousness... is not a passive state, but an active process that consists of... differentiation and integration. I'm in your X, Y'ing your Z.
I could go on, but I think the evidence speaks for itself. Feel free to argue amongst yourselves. It could even be said that LOLcats are a truer, purer form of Objectivism than even Objectivists can attain.

Oh, and before anyone thinks to argue about the Invisible Sandwich et al., let me point out the Primacy of Existence,i.e. "Real is better than imaginary," and the indisputable LOLcat belief that a visible and therefore real cheeseburger is better than an invisible and therefore imaginary one, because if imaginary cheeseburgers were just as good then LOLcats everywhere would not be asking "I can haz cheezburger?"; they would instead be NOM'ing on their invisible ones.

As you can see, my mind travels in dark and fearsome places. One day it might be eaten by a grue.



  1. for whatever reason, I usually find them annoying.. maybe it's the poor grammer..

  2. I bow. Truly, I bow.

    In the Empire, some people will have a free pass for life just for pointing out someone no one else had realized. You have earned your pass.

  3. Thank you Pallet. For giving me something to giggle about while in the middle of philosophy class. Epic post is epic.

    -Locke, still lurking teh interwebs

  4. "I'm in your X Y'ing your Z" made me guffaw. I will never get this out of my head.


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