Showing posts with label Christmas Cheer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christmas Cheer. Show all posts

Sunday, December 25, 2022

A Cornucopia of Christmas Cheer

Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas!

I've spent most of the day pleasantly exhausted, so here's a collection of random things which pleased or amused me. 


Hanukkah Harry Saves Christmas

This blast from 1989 was so hard to find, it makes me wonder if it's been expunged from the internet for some damnfool reason. 

Regardless, enjoy this funny and heartwarming story from when Saturday Night Live was still funny. 



Star Wars/Trek Holiday Funnies




I never realized I needed this last image until I saw it.

Remember, Worf's adoptive human parents were the Rozhenkos, and from what I recall of their appearance they had a solid Jewish vibe. Given that the origin of Hanukkah occurs during the Maccabean Revolt, that makes it 100% a War Miracle, and Worf would definitely approve.

These comments from Ori Pomerantz's share are pure gold and so I must share them. (His post is set to Public so I figure that's all right.)



Miss Ukraine 2022

Miss Ukraine brought a sword to a beauty pageant, and I'm obsessed. The vibe is just *chef's kiss*, and I'm certain the NATO symbolism on the wings isn't accidental. 


The «Warrior of Light» costume symbolizes our nation’s fight against darkness. Like Archangel Michael, who defends Ukraine with a sword, it protects us. Viktoriia has a weapon in her hands, her body is covered in armor, and at the same time, she carries light through the darkness that came to our peaceful lands with the aggressor.

The monolithic jumpsuit symbolizes armor and wraps Victoria like a second skin.

The white dress consists of a stylization of a vyshyvanka with puffy sleeves and a skirt that has more than 10 meters of fabric to it.

The headwear is decorated with spikelets, which are traditional in Ukraine.

Symbolic wings are burned in battle, framed in blue and gold armor in the colors of the Ukrainian flag, and decorated with various mirror ornaments, opened for the decisive battle.

The costume was created in Ukraine in four months in extreme conditions, to the sound of sirens, without electricity, and by candlelight.


This In Nomine reference is going to make sense to very few of you: 
And the Laurentines go, "Doo, do doo, do doo, do do doo..."


Finally...

Given what day it is, you can probably guess at whom this is directed. 



Peace (on Earth) out, y'all. 

Thursday, December 24, 2020

Happy Holidays

 


It's been that kind of year, hasn't it?

May your holidays be merry and bright, and may 2021 be better than 2020 was!

(...not like that's a huge bar to clear by any means.)

Love,
Erin Palette

Tuesday, December 24, 2019

Mhrry Chrhhfmif!

https://www.deviantart.com/nimbostratus/art/Merry-Derpmas-274619594

May the star upon your tree
Stand for friends, like you and me,
Blazing bright for all to see
Friendship's might for eternity!

Tuesday, December 25, 2018

Merry Christmas 2018

Sometimes, the kindest gift of all is the gift of time and attention.

Thank you for your lovely Christmas Presence.

Merry Christmas & a Happy Hearth's Warming!
https://www.deviantart.com/paintedhoofprints/art/Merry-Christmas-from-Fluttershy-341743363


Monday, December 24, 2018

Don We Now Our Gay Apparel

https://www.123rf.com/photo_69713519_stock-vector-kids-in-elfes-costumes-going-christmas-caroling-flat-vector-illustration.html

Deck the Halls exhorts me to don my Gay Apparel. Okay, but is Gay Apparel light, medium, or heavy armor? I need to know this so I know how many turns it will take me to don (or hastily don) it!

Of course, given that people wearing said Gay Apparel are singers, that means they're probably bards, and bards only wear light armor because that doesn't interfere with their spellcasting.

And there's probably a benefit to singing while wearing Gay Apparel, because otherwise the carolers wouldn't be doing it as a group.

You know where this is going, right?


Gay Apparel
Light Armor
  • Aura: Faint illusion
  • Caster Level: 4th
  • Cost: 1,151 gp
Gay Apparel is a masterwork reinforced tunic of red, green and white, usually decorated with bells and festive designs of snowflakes, candy canes and reindeer. Because it is essentially a shirt, Gay Apparel can be donned (or removed) as a Move Action (there is no “don hastily” option for Gay Apparel).

When worn by anyone possessing bardic performance, Gay Apparel grants the Lingering Performance feat. When worn by anyone with at least one rank in Perform: Sing, it grants the use of the Basic Harmony teamwork feat even if they lack the prerequisites.

Construction Requirements: Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Basic Harmony, Lingering Performance, Auditory Hallucination.

Gay Apparel, Lesser
Light Armor
  • Aura: Faint illusion
  • Caster Level: 1st
  • Cost: 651 gp
As above, only without granting the Lingering Performance feat.
Construction Requirements: Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Basic Harmony, Auditory Hallucination.

Gay Apparel, Greater
Light Armor
  • Aura: Moderate illusion
  • Caster Level: 7th
  • Cost: 16,151 gp
As above, except that Gay Apparel, Greater has the Harmonizing special ability.
Construction Requirements: Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Basic Harmony,  Lingering Performance, Auditory Hallucination, Major Image.

Don your bard-assisting tunic!

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!

It's very quick, no need to panic!

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!

It doesn't take a Standard Action!

Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la!

Just a Move, so get to crackin'!

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!

Friday, December 29, 2017

Cool Stuff For Christmas

I had actually intended this to be a Boxing Day post, and then do my best to get a lot of writing done during the "vacation week" I give the authors at Blue Collar Prepping... but life had other ideas. I've been damn busy this week, but at least I've also been damn productive:
  1. I'm getting caught up on rest and becoming de-stressed
  2. My health is improving
  3. I'm making significant improvements in organizing and de-cluttering my life
  4. I'm doing end-of-year paperwork on what Operation Blazing Sword has accomplished (look for a "state of the sword" post next week)
  5. All while continuing to perform my usual familial duties. 
But enough of that! You folks want to see the cool things I was given, right?

120-sided die
Yes, you read that correctly: not a 100-sided die, but 120. It's improbably large, as you can see in the photograph, and given it's size it's about as heavy as you'd expect. 

I don't roll it the way I roll my other gaming dice (which is to say, I hold them in my palm above the table before rapidly rotating my hand away, leaving the dice to fall more or less vertically before bouncing to a halt) because it makes such a loud THUNK that I'm worried I will break something. Instead, I place my left hand on the table like a goal and then literally roll the die towards it in a most-horizontal manner. 

This was given to me by The_Jack, who is a player in the various RPGs that I run. I have no idea what I'm going to use it for, but it amuses me. 

http://amzn.to/2EbwW1Q
Now this is something that I have used, albeit briefly: after we got home from Christmas Eve service, it was dark outside but I needed to walk the dog. I can confirm that this lamp is both comfortable and bright. 

It has three settings
  1. Set Things On Fire
  2. Rather Dim, Actually
  3. Let's Induce Epilepsy!
Setting one is great for doing things at night, but you need to be careful not to blind your buddies by looking at their faces when you talk to them, and you also need to be careful not to blind yourself with "light splash" when you get too close to a surface (or when your hand goes up to adjust the angle or zoom of the light). 

Setting two avoids that entirely, but like my name for it suggests it's rather anemic. It feels like it's only about 100 lumens or so, but perhaps I'm biased because of how powerful setting 1 is. 

Setting 3 is basically a strobe version of setting one. It might make for a good tactical light if not for the dual faults of being mounted to your head and requiring you to take a hand off your weapon to turn the light on and off. 

Other things to like about this are a red light in the back for your buddies to see you and the ability to charge the two lithium batteries inside the case. It comes with three chargers: one for wall outlets, one for cars, and one for USB ports. 

Chaplain Tim recommended this to readers last year and I was finally able to get one. I haven't used it a lot -- mainly just to vacuum-seal clothes and fire-starting materials and food for my Bug Out and Get Home Bags -- but I really like what I see and so far it's operated flawlessly. The sole complaint I have about it is that the vaccuum is LOUD, but at this price point I can live with that. 

Note to those interested in getting one:  Don't buy the pre-cut bags. Instead, buy 100 feet of roll for $20 and make your own bags; not only is it cheaper, but you can make the plastic last longer by cutting them to size. 


This was given to me by my friend David Blackard. It's supposed to be a neck knife, but he had someone mount a belt clip to it. 


This sucker is sharp and handy. I'm not sure where to put it, but I'm definitely going to find a use for it. Until then, I'm wearing it on my belt. 

By the way: the scales on the handle are great for grip but aren't pleasant against the skin of abdomen. I learned that when trying to carry it concealed. 

Trauma Kit from Lucky Gunner
I've always gotten cool gifts from Anthony Welsch at Lucky Gunner, but this one wins points for being both cool and useful. 


That's a SOFTT-W tourniquet with a Phlster Flatpack Tourniquet Carrier and a mini compression bandage, compressed gauze and hemostatic gauze that fits into a Snake Eater Tactical stretchy-wallet-thing (I couldn't find it on their website) which carries all of that as well as a pair of gloves (those are the blue peeking out from the gray). 


This is the biggest item I received, and it's because I told my family "Look, I flew three times this year and it looks like I'm going to fly at least that many times again next year. I don't mind using mom's suitcase but it's soft-sided and I'd really like something hard-sided so I can have more confidence when I fly with a checked firearm. Also, spinner wheels would make my life so much easier. I know it's expensive, so how about [brother] and [sister] just send my share of birthday money to [parents] so I can get this?"

And I got it. And I'm excited to have luggage. This makes me feel so damn old, y'all. But I can't deny that I'm looking forward to taking this with me when I go on cool adventures to new places, meeting new people and talking about Operation Blazing Sword.

http://amzn.to/2Dz1b1I


(I also received some girly stuff, but I doubt my mostly-male readers want to read about that.)

So what cool things did you guys for Christmas?


Monday, December 25, 2017

Merry Christmas & Happy Hearth's Warming, Everypony!

May peace, happiness and contentment be delivered to your door this holiday season!


Thursday, December 21, 2017

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

I just love Christmas.

Everyone's so cheery and bundled up against the cold weather, people seem so much more charitable towards each other, and families really come together.

It really is the most wonderful time of the year.

And you know what? I'm gonna keep it short this week, but I've got a special Christmas treat for all of my wonderful Christmas family of readers this week.

Enjoy!




HAAA SUCKERS YOU REALLY THOUGHT I WAS IN THE SPIRIT DIDN'T YOU?

Bah Humbug and happy #Whamageddon, everyone.

Saturday, December 24, 2016

Merry Christmas 2016


May the joy of this holiday season
be as precious as jewels,
as plentiful as snowfall, 
and sparkle as brilliantly
as diamonds in your heart. 

Merry Christmas & Happy Hearth's Warming, everypony!

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Merry Christmas & Happy Heart's Warming Eve

This is the most magical time of the year. And because Friendship is Magic, this means it is also the friendliest time of the year.

Thank you all for being my friends.

May you, and everypony you love, have a blessed holiday.


Thursday, December 26, 2013

Thursday is Thorsday

But Wednesday is for Wotan.

I had originally planned to post this yesterday, what with it being Wotan's Day AND Christmas AND the day for Wednesday Night Wackiness, but it was Christmas and I was being lazy so fuckit.

But, because I feel guilty about missing it, I'm posting it anyway. Mazel tov and all that.




The rest of this funny and informative series hay be found here.



Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Merry Christmas & Happy Hearth's Warming Eve



This is a special delivery of love, kindness and laughter from Ponyville!


The fire of friendship lives in our hearts
As long as it burns we cannot drift apart
Though quarrels arise, their numbers are few
Laughter and singing will see us through
We are a circle of pony friends
A circle of friends we'll be to the very end!

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Help make a Christmas Miracle happen

If there are any members of my Flying Monkey Legion (TM) who are financially able to help make a last-minute Christmas miracle happen, please email me* immediately!  

(Details kept quiet to preserve pride and prevent embarrassment of recipient. Emailers will receive more details upon request.)

* erin dot palette at gmail dot com

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Derp A Herp

This is a Christmas present for my mother that I commissioned from Joie Brown. There's actually a cute story behind it, which I will share with you. 

My mom occasionally watches ponies with me. She doesn't quite "get" the show, and certainly doesn't enjoy it the way I do, but she thinks the characters are cute and the music is catchy, and she is amazed by all the creativity and passion of the fans.

She chose Derpy Hooves to be her favorite pony because mom also has really bad (REALLY bad) eyesight, and has a tendency to be scatterbrained. Of course, I needed to explain to her what derping is, and how one herps a derp.

So one day, she picks up her Celtic harp to practice with it and announces in, no shit, an ERMAHGERD voice, "Erm gerrna play de herp."

Bemusedly, I replied with "You're gonna derp your herp?"

"Yerp!" she confirmed.

Thus, "Derp a Herp" was born. And mom is NOT gonna see this one coming!



Also, God bless Joie for having the patience of a saint. I was as nitpicky and demanding as a mother-in-law for this commission, and to her credit she's still friends with me. :D

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Merry Zombiemas

Christmas always makes me think of zombie movies.

No, really, it does. Stop thinking about the hustle and bustle of shopping and think, instead, of silent nights. Everyone has gone to bed; streets are dark, houses quiet. And yet, lights everywhere: not enough to read by, but enough to illuminate houses and sidewalks such that a body could walk around without needing a flashlight. The odd colors cast people and buildings in strange new perspectives. And of course, the crazy shadows and shapes on lawns and roofs formed by unlit decorations. Anyone, any thing, could be out there.  Isn't the true lesson of Santa Claus "You don't know who's watching, so shut up and go to sleep"?

Christmas at night carries that unspoken "Do not wake the house" vibe. Shhh. Be quiet. Move about the house navigating only by the light of the tree and the outdoor decorations. Look outside the windows and see shapes that normally aren't there. Muse upon how it's hard to tell the difference between a house with sleeping occupants and a house that has been abandoned because of outbreak. Try not to think about that scene in 28 Days Later where Jim is watching home movies late at night in his parent's house -- a quiet, shadowed house, much like the one you're in -- when an infected bursts in through the window and attacks him.

Red. Red everywhere. Worse, red contrasted with white. It doesn't get more "blood on the snow" than that. Christmas is a celebration of life while surrounded by death -- snowstorms, bitter cold, hypothermia and starvation and death. It's an embarrassment of riches, a ritualized gorging upon food and presents while lesser animals die alone in the cold. Life is always about eating, about something dying so that another can live. Blood on the snow.

Even the poem "The Night Before Christmas" teaches us to observe noise discipline, maintain vigilance at night, and beware of strangers entering the house via unorthodox and unsecured entry points. It's a good thing Santa doesn't want to kill you all in your beds, is what I'm saying. "If you're good little boys and girls, you survive to see morning" becomes a heck of a moral.

Are jingle bells for merriment, or are they an improvised perimeter alarm? Or did someone have a relative who got bitten, and so they tried to "bell the cat"? Because they don't sound merry to my ears -- they sound frantic.

So for me, the question isn't why Christmas makes me think of zombies. The question is, why doesn't it make you think of zombies?

Monday, December 24, 2012

Merry Christmas & a Happy Hearth's Warming Eve


I actually managed to make it through this season without once having a holiday-related meltdown!  It's a Christmas miracle, I tell you. :)

And for those who are wondering what Hearth's Warming Eve is....




Whatever you celebrate, have a good one!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

I Wish You A Messy Christmas

Mutant Sestina written by Erin Palette, Christmas 2008. Feel free to share this with all your friends, but please attribute it to me.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution- Noncommercial- No Derivative Works 3.0 License.

Creative Commons License

The Fine Print


This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution- Noncommercial- No Derivative Works 3.0 License.

Creative Commons License


Erin Palette is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com.