House of Palette

Earlier this month, Jeff Stolarcyk (he of Conditional Axe fame) told me that he was renewing his subscription to City of Heroes, and would I mind terribly helping him with some costumes?

I do believe I squealed with delight at the prospect.

To your left is Kensei Robo, in his original costume. Jeff described him as "a robot cowboy who is also a katana master." Looking at the picture, you can kind of grasp what he's going for... but it doesn't really capture the "sword saint" part of the character, now does it?

And those gears. HATE THEM!

So anyway, I worked my elfin magick upon Robo-Sama, trying to heighten and balance the four key elements of his nature: Samurai, Robot, Cowboy, and Completely Absurd.


Ah, now this is much better, isn't it?


Samurai: Katana, martial arts gi, and black belt.

Robot: This part pretty much stayed the same, though I changed the colors a bit, deleted those horrible gears, and use different (but still biggie-sized) robot gauntlets.

Cowboy: Blue jeans, cowboy boots, cowboy hat.... and a big ol' stogie clenched between his teeth.

Absurd: It's a robot cowboy samurai, made with complete seriousness. It doesn't look like a half-assed attempt at a joke. The colors balance, symmetry is maintained. Putting this much effort into something that is inherently silly is, to me, the epitome of absurdism.

Samurai Robot Cowboy sez....

"Ah approve of this here costume!"

WNW: Chuck Approves These Messages

This is not an endorsement of Mike Huckabee as a presidential candidate, but god damn, the man knows how to use an internet meme:



Your thoughts on his politics aside, you've got to admit, that's the savviest campaign ad in decades. This guy, at least, knows the value of viral advertising and how the internet helps shape elections. For that, I give him props.

But whatever my political affiliation may be, I'd like to point out that I am pro-Chuck Norris. Not even a blender can defeat him!

I am filled with frustration, anger, jealousy

Frustration: After admitting defeat yesterday, I wasn't in bed more than five minutes before having not one but many ideas on what to write about. Of course, I didn't immediately get up and write because I was tired and already in bed. Now that I'm awake I can't think of any of them. Goddammit.

Anger: By a show of hands, how many people remember even 10% of what they learned in high school chemistry? Biology? I dunno about you guys, but I took an algebra or pre-calc class every year and damned if I can recall more than 3 formulas, total.

How about college? Maybe if you're lucky you remember 20% of what you learned there. I'm not so lucky... with the exception of my Literature courses (which I adored) and one or two VERY notable classes, I don't recall shit about my college experiences.

Yet I can quote to you, verbatim, huge uninterrupted passages from Monty Python, Red Dwarf, and Blackadder.

I don't know which pisses me off more: that I have forgotten all of this potentially useful information, or that I spent so much time and effort in learning things that I've never used, nor ever needed to use, since graduation.

Meanwhile, I still don't know how to change the oil on my car.

Jealousy: How the fuck do some bloggers strike it big and amass huge audiences? I'm about ready to attribute it to random chance, because I've read many of the "big name" blogs and I know -- not think, not feel, but know with an ironclad certainty -- that I write as well, if not better than they do.

And it's not a case of my blog "lacking focus," either; some of them are just random opinion pieces about whatever catches their attention at the moment, and they're still pulling in big numbers.

Maybe I should just go "misanthropic bitch" route and try to offend as many people as possible. I got a huge amount of hits from the recent Canadian brouhaha, and from a quick scan of talk radio it seems like people enjoy being offended, seeing other people be offended, and feeling validated in their prejudices by agreeing with the person doing the offending that the offendees had it coming in the first place and really need to get over themselves.

I'm certain I could do it on a constant basis. I just think it wouldn't be healthy for me -- mentally, socially, emotionally -- to live my life in a constant state of venomous ire. Plus, I am a delicate flower and desperately want people to like me and tell me how great I am, not be angry with me and send nasty or threatening emails my way. I realize that criticism and dislike of my work is part of the literary "package", as it were, but choosing to offend as many people as possible just isn't my thing. I'd much rather keep being who I am -- a quirky, over-literate goth chick with a skewed perspective on life -- but to a much broader audience.

Reading that last paragraph, I think I see the problem: "goth" and "over-literate" simply don't belong in the same sentence as "broader audience." I'm too goth for the mundanes, not goth enough for the lifestylers, and no one ever struck it rich in the popular media being over-literate.

Of course, I'm sure I could increase my viewers by about a thousand percent if I posted nude pictures on my blog, but that's a line I refuse to cross.

Le sigh.

To whom must I whore myself out just to get some decent exposure?

Some days, you just gotta say "screw it"

I've been looking at this blank screen for several hours now.

I know when I'm whipped.

Goodnight, all.

I Has A Flavor

So yesterday, one of my Internet Stalker Boyfriends (hi Nathan! *waves*) IM'd me and asked simply, "Flavor?"

Naturally, I replied with "Gothberry."

I had intended to photoshop a picture of a goth girl licking her finger/hand/arm and making a parody of the "I has a flavor" lolcat, but.... well, you put those words into Google and see what YOU come up with.


Instead, I give you this:

GOTHBERRIES TASTE LIKE SCHADENFREUDE

(image courtesy of oskaline)

Razor doesn't cut it

Caution: some Nerd Rage imminent. Also, spoilers if you haven't seen Razor yet.


It should come as no surprise to people who read this blog that I love Battlestar Galactica. I love dark futures, I love survival scenarios where the heroes are massively outnumbered, I love retro-tech, and I love military hardware. I love this show so much that I've even done some work for QMx on BSG material.

That said, I don't love Razor.

I'm going to skip past the part where I say that, as the only new BSG programming we're getting this year, it should deliver a lot of bang (it doesn't) and leave us on the edge of our seats for season 4. Instead, I'm going to concentrate on what I didn't like about this movie. If you accuse me of nitpicking, you're probably correct; such is the stuff of nerd rage.

• The movie introduces us to a new character, Capt. Kendra Shaw. She is haunted by the ghosts of the past, and in an effort to put her past misdeeds behind her she lashes out and does drugs and yadda yadda yadda. Not only is this cliché, it is practically shorthand for This character will die before the end of the movie. Seriously, did anyone not see this coming? Please, let me know. I promise I won't mock you. I just want to know if anyone was caught by surprise by this.
  
• Admiral Caine has a lesbian affair. This bothers me, but not for the reason you probably think, for I have no problems with straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, or any other kind of sexuality so long as it isn't done to children, animals, or nonconsenting adults. No, my problem here is that by making Gina her lover, they once again fall back to stereotype: that any strong-willed military woman must be a ball-busting dyke to succeed.
• Speaking of Caine, what is up with her hair? Forgive me for getting all girly on you here, but why does the Admiral's hairstyle go from dark and wavy -- -- to lighter and straighter ---- in the span of three months? Yes, I suppose she could have changed her 'do, but putting aside the possibility that the Pegasus has a beauty salon aboard to straighten and lighten her hair, please realize that she is an Admiral at war. Officers, especially those at the top of the chain of command, simply do not do that sort of thing, because they have to project the image that they are consistent in thought, action, and deed -- in other words, unchanging. I know this because my father is a career Army Colonel. Say what you will about Adm. Cain (and believe me, a lot can be said), she never once stopped projecting a constant "I am in total command here" vibe.
  
• The movie is told almost entirely in flashback. That in itself isn't an indictment against it, though; some movies, such as Pulp Fiction, make good use of it. This one doesn't, though, because 90% of the flashbacks are of things we already knew happened. What this means is that we spend so much time dealing with needless backstory that by the time the movie is 3/4ths finished, very little has actually happened plot-wise. As a result, the next 30 minutes are resolved in a rather half-assed fashion, and the truly interesting questions the show raises (What did Sharon mean by "evolutionary dead end?" Were the Guardians rogues, or simply left to die by the rest of the Cylon race? Did Jaycie die from her injuries? Were the things that Husker saw on the ice planet simply products of his imagination, or was the hybrid communicating with him in some way?) simply aren't answered.
  

In summation: too much backstory, not enough plot. I realize that some backstory was necessary to introduce us to the character of Kendra Shaw, but I feel that it was dwelled upon excessively and to the detriment of the story.

Things I did like:

• The way they used some original-series BSG stuff (Cylon raiders, Centurions, Colonial Warrior uniforms) to highlight the difference between the First and Second Cylon War.
  
• Three old-school Cyons in a Raider, speaking in classically cheesy synthvoices. Excellent!
  
• One of the marines is named "Hudson," in an obvious nod to Aliens.
  
• The Razor Flashbacks which detail the adventures of Bill "Husker" Adama in the First Cylon War.
  

Oh, one more thing: the constant advertisement of the DVD release of this movie on December 4th, "with deleted scenes," really began to bug me. It's sort of like saying, "This movie you're seeing now, for free? It's incomplete. If you want to get the WHOLE story, you need to buy the DVD, sucker!"

Who knows, maybe it'll be better. Maybe it will provide a better framework on which to hang the story, or the deleted scenes will answer more questions. But as it stands now though, Razor is just... dull.

*ba dump bump*

Never, ever eat the Chicken a la King

There's an interesting discussion of "What's in iron rations, anyway?" over at The Twenty-Sided Tale. (Please note that they are discussing fantasy/medieval rations, not the emergency rations of World War I.)

General consensus is that whatever they are, they taste horrid, much like modern-day MREs.

Freak that I am, the MREs I've eaten have actually been pretty tasty (though the dehydrated pork patty needed some substantial "modification"). It might have something to do with the fact that for whatever reason, I don't have much of a taste for salt (you have to POUR it into food for me to detect it -- like fast food french fries -- and if the mashed potatoes are undersalted I'll never know).

But stay away from the Chicken a la King, though. That shit is nasty.

And the less said about Chipped Beef on Toast, the better.