"In Defense of the Second Amendment": a Report

Larry Correia's new book, In Defense of the Second Amendment, was released on January 24. It is a fast, easy read that is written in Correia's trademark style where he unapologetically speaks his mind while talking to the reader in a conversational manner.

https://amzn.to/3HhYx2y

Disclaimer the First

I know Larry Correia personally. I don't know him well enough to feel justified in calling him my friend, but I like him and respect him as a person, as an author (I've read all but one of his fiction series, and I'm about to start Son of the Black Sword this week), and as a Second Amendment activist. Despite what his detractors say about him, I know for a fact that this man is not a homophobe nor a transphobe, because this is us at a convention in 2019:

That is Larry Correia posing for a photograph with me, a transwoman. Notice how he isn't afraid to put his arm around me. Notice how he doesn't mind that my hand is on his chest. Notice that he's smiling so hard he's squinting.

Disclaimer the Second

Larry Correia reached out to me in 2022 to seek my permission to mention both Operation Blazing Sword and Pink Pistols in his upcoming book. I said yes, not only because I like him and because I trust him to do right by us, but also because he was instrumental in the success of Operation Blazing Sword. Without his assistance in its early days, as he correctly describes in this book, OBS would not be where it is today and might not even exist at all. 

In summary, this isn't going to be an unbiased review because I have strong, deep feelings of admiration and affection for this man. 

This Book Is:

An essential condensation of all the expected firearm prohibition tropes and how to counter them, along with explanations on why the National Firearms Act of 1934 is dumb, how to stop spree shooters, and what you can do to effect positive change within your community, state and nation by repealing bad gun laws. In short, it's  the Second Amendment version of Alinsky's Rules For Radicals in that it's a handy textbook on how to argue for firearm rights and against hoplophobes. 

This Book Is Not:

Going to change the mind of anyone who is in favor of gun control, let alone repeal the Second Amendment, and it will likely alienate a lot of fence-sitters just from the foreword and first chapter alone. While I understand why Larry Corriea equates Democrats (people, not Party) and The Left with anti-gun sentiment, there is a small but essential contingent of pro-gun liberals who will feel alienated, if not outright attacked, by this book. 

I realize that I am on shaky ground by offering advice to a bestselling professional author when I am not one. I do however have some experience in trying to convert people to my point of view regarding firearm ownership and the Second Amendment, and based on this I feel that the book would have broader appeal if it started with Chapter 2, which is both a stronger introduction and less spleen-venting. 

Again, I understand the why of it. Every gun owner has felt this way at some point, and it's a cathartic read. But it's kind of a tall order to say "For any readers who are vehemently anti-gun, I hope that you read this with an open mind, because the Second Amendment is truly for everyone" and expect that open-mindedness after you've spent the first dozen pages telling them what awful people they are. 

In Conclusion

I can already feel the comments section heating up as people type angry replies to this. Everyone has a right to their opinion, and this is mine. It is my sincere hope that Mr. Correia -- whom, again, I deeply admire and respect -- would speak in my defense that I'm entitled to this opinion, even if he thinks it's dumb as rocks. 

In Defense of the Second Amendment is a good book. I like it, I recommend it to all gun owners, and I'm going to use the lessons within it the next time I need to debate a Gun Prohibitionist... but I don't think it's going to win any hearts and minds. 

Addendum: Edited to Add This

GHUpAS

Well, as you can see I didn't post anything on Friday. This is exactly why I decided not to participate in NaNoWriMo, because if I did, then I'd be behind schedule and beating myself up about it. Instead, I'm doing Try To Write More In November But If I Don't That's Okay And I Forgive Myself, or TTWRINBIIDTOAIFM, and I'm writing right now so this definitely counts. 

On Sunday I also wrote what I think is a really great article on Blue Collar Prepping about a battery backup for my CPAP, and I'm pretty sure that counts too. 

So, I'm gonna talk some shit about William Gibson. But first, a video. 

I used to be a William Gibson fan. I adore Neuromancer; in addition to being a well-crafted story in general, it's a seminal work of science fiction that jump-started the cyberpunk subgenre (alongside other authors like Greg Bear and Walter Jon Williams). I try and read it every year or so, it's that good. 

The sequel, Count Zero, was also very good, although the story is a bit fractured due to perspective shifts. Something that you need to know about William Gibson is that he can tell amazing stories, but only so long as he keeps to one character's perspective. The more perspectives he adds, the more convoluted the story becomes, until it eventually collapses under its own weight. The multiple perspectives become more important than telling a coherent story, resulting in an ending that gives no closure, squanders the intriguing possibilities described in previous novels, and leaves the reader mourning for what could have been. This is what happened to Mona Lisa Overdrive, the third novel in that trilogy. 

I call this Gibsonian Head-Up-Ass Syndrome (GHUpAS, pronounced "goop-ass" because it's my acronym and I can say it however I like), and it's unfortunately a characteristic of his work. My friend Chris Hogan over at the BookFace says Gibson is "an amazing short story writer who sadly works in the novel format," and I can't disagree. Burning Chrome, a collection of his short stories, was published two years before Neuromancer, and many of those stories laid the groundwork for his later Sprawl Trilogy. I think Neuromancer succeeded mainly because it was originally serialized in Asimov's Science Fiction, which meant that it essentially was a collection of short stories told in series and tied together with an overarching plot.

Warning: Spoilers Ahead

Count Zero works mainly because he keeps the perspectives tight (two, I seem to recall; no, wait, three, but one of them contributes very little to the plot and doesn't interact with the other two POVs, so these act more like interludes than anything else) and because it plays off a neat idea introduced at the very end of Neuromancer: that there's an alien Artificial Intelligence in Earth's internet that was beamed here via satellite from Alpha Centauri and is interacting with the unleashed Neuromancer-Wintermute AI gestalt that was freed of its chains in the previous novel. We subsequently learn that this gestalt AI decides to manifest as various loas of Voudou, and they are appearing to a young woman who can somehow interact with the internet without machinery. 

This is a really cool concept. I bet you're hoping that in the third book you find out why the alien AI is here, how it's different from human-built AIs, if it's friendly or an enemy, and that sort of thing, right? And when you discover that a fan-favorite character from Neuromancer is in this book, that there's gonna be some awesome ass-kicking. Oh, and the internet-woman is here, too! It's all coming together, right?

Answer: Hahahahahaha fuck you, no, you get dogshit. The story in Mona Lisa Overdrive is a confusing mess, there is no resolution to many dangling plot threads, the alien AI story is left abandoned, and your fan-favorite character might as well not be there at all for all the impact she has. 

So why is GHUpAS a syndrome? Because Gibson did the exact same thing in his next three books, the Bridge Trilogy. 

Book 1, Virtual Light: Gibson created an interesting world with compelling characters and an intriguing plot.

Book 2, Idoru: This is a fork from the main book, focusing on a side character from the first one and a plot related to an unexplored aspect of the setting that is relevant and related to the first novel. 

Book 3, All Tomorrow's Parties: The pieces from books 1 and 2 could come together to make a truly remarkable story, but sadly GHUpAS is in full effect. The ending is squandered, more of an afterthought to the mental masturbation of the various perspectives than any sort of closure, and compelling ideas are left to die undeveloped for the sake characters we don't care about, and the characters we do care about are wasted. 

Yes, I am still angry about the wasted potential of Mona Lisa Overdrive. So angry, in fact, that when Gibson pulled the same shit with All Tomorrow's Parties, I swore I'd never give him another cent and never read another of his books. In fact, I am so angry that I want to invent time travel for the sole reason of going back in time to publish all his stories before he does, just so that I can then give those trilogies the proper endings that they deserve. 

So, yeah, The Peripheral? This sounds like peak GHUpAS to me. Maybe he's gotten better with his Blue Ant trilogy, but I wouldn't know because I swore I wouldn't read them, and at this point I don't really care. 

If he holds true to pattern, then whether or not the series has a satisfying ending will depend on if Amazon is adapting just the one book in the series, or all three.

Just the one book? It should be a pretty good series. 

Two books? Still fairly good, although viewers will probably be left with a gnawing "Okay, but what happens with plot threads X, Y, and Z?" feeling. 

Three books? Look at how Game of Thrones ended. 

That's my prediction on November 11, 2022. Come back here from the future and tell me if I was wrong. 

A Time to Live, a Time to Die... a Time to Regenerate

Man, I was *not* looking forward to this.. 

Has it really been six months? Spoilers...

So begins the final reprieve of Peter Capaldi, he who is too pure for this world, good enough to transcend any writing problems and turn any bad episode watchable, any decent episode memorable, and any great episode an absolute masterpiece. Sylvester McCoy may always remain my Doctor, but Capaldi is unequivocally the best Doctor. Which is why, even after two excellent seasons, two fun Christmas specials, and one hit or miss season, I wasn't at all looking forward to this episode. To paraphrase the Tenth Doctor, I didn't want him to go. To paraphrase the Twelfth Doctor, I did not want him to change.

But as he's taught me over many years, all things do change. We have to let go of things, let go of people. They won't always be around but we can always remember them. So how will we remember him, based on his farewell?

In a word: Gorgeous.

I am such a nerd. 

This may well be Moffat's best episode since taking over the show (let's face it, nothing's going to beat The Girl In The Fireplace), and definitely in the top 3 for director Rachel Talala who, for the record, is no slouch herself, having not only directed rather good episodes of Flash, Legends of Tomorrow, Supernatural, Haven, and Continuum (all... or most, at least, excellent sci-fi shows) but also Tank Girl and one of the better Nightmare On Elm Streets. Talalay seems to be Moffat's directorial big gun, as he's put her in charge of all of Capaldi's finale episodes, most notably the masterpiece that is Heaven Sent. She's got a real gift for Capaldi's style.

Let's get one thing out of the way first, as it's the only real complaint that I have about this episode and I need to be very clear about why I have a problem with it: the First Doctor was not a raging sexist, and the lines about Polly or Bill cleaning the TARDIS or a man being a nurse are horribly out of place. One was not discriminatory in being a grumpy old asshole. Unless your name was Susan, you were fair game. Just ask Ian Chesterton. I'm trying to pretend that most of those comments were for the Captain's behalf.

OK, you get a pass for one of the most beautiful moments in human history.

Getting that out of the way, though, David Bradley's performance as the First Doctor is absolutely spot-on. While his face my be different, his performance is eerily reminiscent of William Hartnell's original portrayal. He hit all of his marks perfectly, catching the nuances of being a man both younger and older than Capaldi's Twelve, and the chemistry between himself and Capaldi's Doctor's is brilliant. Possibly the best I've seen, even better than Smith and Tennant's interactions. The disapproving looks Bradley shoots Capaldi, and the uncomfortable embarrassment of twelve extremely long lives between them on Capaldi's behalf speak volumes more than could be expected.

One thing I thought I'd have a problem with, but didn't, was Bill Potts. I'm on record as saying that Bill turned out much better than I'd hoped and expected, and her ending was just that: an ending. A clean break, with a satisfying end that had been telegraphed properly and tied up all the loose ends. So when I heard she was coming back, it felt wrong, but tying it into the main story gave us an opportunity not to continue her story, but to give a proper coda, an epilogue. "The post-script of Bill Potts", so to speak, and it was handled unexpectedly well. What was really unexpected, and handled even better, was the gift given to Twelve: his memory of Clara. By this point in the episode I was already tearing up (especially after the Captain identified himself), and when she appeared to him by way of the glass constructs, I audibly sobbed.

The most important takeaway, though, is that this episode was small and quiet. Very little actually happened, the vast majority of the episode being character-based moments: a final bit of growth for some, and a proper farewell for others. And I bring this up because it's what Christmas specials mostly aren't. From The Christmas Invasion all the way through The Return of Doctor Mysterio, Christmas specials have been all about giant spectacle and high-level emotional moments, with a healthy side dish of absolute silliness. Twice Upon A Time bucks that trend, and for its own benefit, as the big action-packed scene lasts maybe 30 seconds and is over halfway through the episode, leaving us time to become involved with the characters and invested in them.

Have you ever had to say goodbye to yourself?

Which brings us to the regeneration. What are we able to glean from that short moment?

• There's the obvious: Jodie Whittaker is the Thirteenth Doctor now. 
• She's kept her accent, from what I can tell from the one phrase we've gotten: "Aww, brilliant!" 
• She can pull some great facial expressions so far. 
• Most importantly, they let her crash the TARDIS. This genuinely had me worried, as every modern Doctor so far has done so in their regenerations, save maybe War-to-Nine, and Thirteen has managed to crash the TARDIS in spectacular fashion, perhaps only second to Eight-to-War (which I'm barely counting, considering that he only parked inside a crashing ship). 

This was very important to me, considering the highly-charged gender politics of the Current Year™, as I was afraid that Thirteen would be treated with inappropriate kid gloves and land the TARDIS safely or leave it parked during her regeneration. Turns out they went balls out (no pun intended) and not only did she blow out the console with her regeneration, but she managed to detonate the central column and get unceremoniously ejected out the front doors mid-flight to fall to her apparent death. Good show, Thirteen. I can't wait to see what happens next.

I'll have you know I made it through this entire review
without a single woman driver joke.

This is absolutely a cannot-miss of an episode. It's emotional, quiet, intense, and touching. The only negative points are the blatant and out-of-character sexism of the First Doctor, and so many things that simply shouldn't work actually end up working really well.

Catching an ST:D

I'm not letting that joke go. You can pry it from my cold, dead hands. 

Over the last week, I've watched 5 entire seasons of Star Trek: Deep Space 9, and just today I watched all three JJ Abrams movies. This helped me get a perspective on where Trek has been, and where it's going.

On the night of its release, I watched the first two episodes of Star Trek: Discovery and and the third episode of The Orville. Suffice it to say, I had a much better time on one of those three episodes.

I feel that it's necessary, before I begin properly, to point out that there's a strawman argument going on right now amongst critics of critics of ST:D's marketing. The story goes that people are objecting to the diversity of ST:D's cast, and that it would be a real (irony here) shame if Trek were to have a cast that included a black woman, a Russian, a Japanese man, a Scotsman, and a half-human, or if it were to have a blind man and a formerly hostile alien race on the bridge. That's an excellent point, but it's countering an argument that no significant number of people actually have. No one is objecting to a diverse cast in Star Trek. Trek has always had a diverse cast, even when it wasn't 'safe' to do so. Rather, people are objecting to the show being marketed as "good because it's diverse" when Trek has always simply been diverse without having a brass band trumpeting it from the heavens of Hollywood's finest spin rags.

With that out of the way, what did I think?

I'm torn. Had you removed the Starfleet livery, called the "Klingons" something else, and just called it Discovery, I might have felt very differently. Much like The Orville, this could have worked as a tribute to Trek while making an entirely new IP. But being in Trek's playground, this just doesn't work, for a number of reasons.

While there may be inconsistencies between the Kelvin Timeline (of the Abrams movies) and vintage Trek's Prime Timelikne, there is a very good reason for that. The Narada Incident irreparably changed the timeline, with highly advanced and experimental technology being introduced in a very public and very messy way hundreds of years before it should have been developed. This accelerated both the technological level of advancement (which is why the Kelvin Enterprise is larger than Picard's Sovereign class Enterprise) and historical events (Kirk taking command, the Khan incident). However, Discovery takes place mere years after Star Trek: Enterprise -- long before the timeline was disrupted -- so there's no explanation for certain things that don't fit, including:

• The robot (?) woman on the bridge of the Shenzhou when Lt. Commander Data was the first AI in Starfleet. 
• The use of holographic communicators, when they were at an experimental phase in the later years of Deep Space 9. 
• The design of Burnham's space suit being lighter and thinner than suits shown in series that take place over a hundred years later. 
• The Klingons possessing a cloaking device when those were obtained from the Romulans during Kirk's service.

Another common complaint that I see is that Trek shouldn't focus on war and that Discovery is dropping us into a war in the first episode. I'd be a hypocrite myself if I said Trek shouldn't handle war, as DS9 is my favourite series, but it needs to be handled properly. DS9 spent years setting up the characters and the setting, letting us get to know the crew, before they raised the stakes and had us invested in their experiences. DS9, in short, earned their war.

Then there's the things that are just inconsistent in and of themselves. For example, the Klingons:

• Their language seems to have changed fundamentally. Despite there already being an entire existing language for the Klingons, they're speaking something that doesn't sound at all like the Klingon language, with such a stilted cadence to their speech that it makes them difficult to listen to.
• Visually, they've changed again. They don't look anything like the Prime timeline (which the show claims to be part of) or the Kelvin timeline Klingons (which expanded the bone ridges across the head, but retained the iconic visuals). They look like they're wearing misshapen cockroaches on their heads. 
• The Captain and First Officer speaking loudly to each other about not violating General Order One (aka the Prime Directive - do not interfere in the natural development of a pre-warp species) while in the hatchery of a pre-warp species on their way to interfere with the natural development of that species? 
• And how is a mind meld from years ago allowing a Vulcan to communicate telepathically across light-years?

There were a few things I liked, although most of them were undercut by the end of the second episode. I adored Captain Philippa Georgiou and the Shenzhou. The ship was quite well-designed, and Michelle Yeoh's performance was top-notch. She had the perfect blend of mature serenity and well-earned smugness, with a French name and a decidedly not-French origin that reminded me quite a bit of Captain Picard. Had the show followed her, I felt she could have become a fine proto-Picard figure, and seeing her use a phase rifle as a tool early in the episode, even if it was in violation of the Prime Directive, was pleasing as well. I was also fond of Doug Jones's alien Lt. Saru, the highly intelligent and highly bent on self-preservation attitude providing a smile.

The show is inconsistent with its pre-release messaging as well, considering that the Klingons were billed as a very clear analogue for Trump voters and the emphasis on diversity. The main character, Burnham - a black woman with a male first name raised by Vulcans - gets chewed out by a white male Admiral for judging by race, by which she responds to 'not confuse race with culture' - something that critics of Islam frequently have to say to progressive accusations of Islamophobia. In short, ST:D is so woke it comes back out the other side, as the episode climax is brown-skinned religious zealots destroying a ship called Europa headed by a white man by driving a vehicle into it. In trying to build the perfect analogue of Trump voters, it crashed headlong into every ugly stereotype of people from the Middle East.

The most frustrating part, though, is I have no idea if these criticisms will stand. Burnham -- whom I dislike as she's written basically like Sheldon from Big Bang Theory -- is seemingly the only returning cast member come episode 3, when she joins the crew of an entirely new ship with a new captain. The show might take a completely new direction, or it may hang on tightly to all of the complaints I have with it.

It's almost a shame I won't know, as I have no intentions of paying CBS $7 a month to watch one show that I don't know if I'll be invested in and still have to watch commercials on CBS All Access, and I can't help but feel that's not a coincidence. Internally, ST:D will be judged by how many account sign-ups it garners for CBS, but that's not data we'll ever see. Instead, we'll see that The Orville, which airs on the same night that ST:D premiered, got significantly higher ratings. And maybe that was the plan all along.

I'm going back to re-watching DS9. I still have a season and a half to get through before I start a new job.

Preacher: Adaptation Blues

When I was 18 years old, I shared a flat with a couple. Odd pair, a slightly plump bisexual girl and her effeminate, slightly hippy, slightly techno boyfriend. One of the defining moments of this period of my life was discovering Garth Ennis's Preacher comic series. I remember clearly one night finishing one of the volumes and racing over to Books-A-Million (forgive my plebian tendencies, we didn't have a Barnes & Nobles in the roughly-six-horse town I lived in at the time) and begging them to open the doors a minute before their closing time to pick up the next volume.

When I initially heard Preacher was being adapted for television I had very mixed feelings. I felt that television was the best medium for the series, as the story was far too broad to tell within the limitations of a roughly two hour film, but I was wary at the involvement of Seth Rogen. Rogen has made his name in awkward/pothead humour films, which are some of my least favourite genres in existence, with Pineapple Express, Neighbors, Superbad, Knocked Up, and the unfortunate This Is The End, which had to stand up against Edgar Wright's finale of the Cornetto Trilogy, The World's End and really didn't fare well in my eyes. Seth Rogen is not somebody who I trusted to understand Preacher properly.

Picture courtesy Business Insider

As a young Atheist, banished from a church a year prior (for reasons maybe I'll go into later), Preacher was a story that struck a chord with me. A man of God, given a great gift with a terrible knowledge, sets out to hold God accountable. The anger against organized religion that was boiling inside the 18-year-old me resonated with that message at the time. Now, an undisclosed-but-significant amount of time later, I've calmed somewhat, and despite how juvenile and (ironically) preachy Ennis could be at times, now I just want to see the story done justice.

Preacher premiered on AMC last spring. When it first came out, I missed the premiere, so about a month later I watched the first four episodes... and it was rough going. I have to admit, over the years, I've read the series multiple times, and own a trade paperback release of every volume, including the cover collection and the side stories with Cassidy and the Saint. The series had a very high bar for me, and in those first four episode, it did not meet that bar. Annville was there, but it seemed like every single story element in 7 volumes of the comic series had been packed into a single town, and somehow the series still moved at a snail's pace. Aside from a decent joke about Tom Cruise being vaporized by Genesis, nothing really appealed to me. The Reverend Jesse Custer seemed to be a good translation from comic to screen, only losing his wilder hair and white jeans in the process, I was confused by Tulip being black (until I realized that I'd lived 10 years in the armpit of Texas and the demographics actually justified that entirely) and I absolutely hated Cassidy. I was confused why Arseface lived in Annville and why his dad actually spoke to him. I was confused why DeBlanc and Fiore dressed like business-casual cowboys and were in Annville. I was confused why Odin Quincannon's meat-packing plant was located in Annville. And I was confused why it felt like, in the first four episodes, absolutely nothing happened.

This week, I've sat down and watched the remaining six episodes of the first season as well as the first four (that have aired so far) of season 2. I've softened a little, as starting near the end of season 1 the pace has picked up considerably and the "road trip" tone of the comic series is starting to manifest, and I've even gone so far as to purchase the Jesse Custer figure that NECA released (but not the Cassidy figure). Some of the more drastic changes they've made to the series (why is the Saint immune to Genesis? Why did they nerf his guns? Every shot kills and no shot misses. That's the Saint's Colt Walkers. Why was he just in Hell and not a replacement for... well that's getting a little too much into the lore. Read it for yourself, trust me) are bothering me.

Taking his place on the DC Screen Shelf. Anyone tired of my toys yet? 

I have to wonder if Seth Rogen and friends read the books or just a summary of them. Irish vampire? Check. Girlfriend named Tulip that's good with guns? Check. Texas preacher with the Voice of God? Check. But the details, almost every single one, have been changed, and I can't say for the better. I always give a series the first season as a trial ground and assume it's going to suck, and I grant it that the second season, so far, is better than the first, but I have yet to have any confidence in this adaptation. We'll see how it goes from here on out, and I'll check out the episodes as they come, but I'm still wary.

Luke Cage: An Executive Summary

More away game material that ought to be showcased here:



If you want an explanation of why I feel this way: The boss fight in the final episode is okay at best, and had a little too much of "All you need to win is the power of love" to make me happy, but it was an acceptable 20 minutes to wrap up the series.

Unfortunately, there was 30 more minutes to go, and the denouement was similar to a souffle slowly collapsing.

If they had just stopped with him defeating Diamondback and Misty doing the whole "It'll be cool, I've got your back," that would have been great. All of the other stuff could have been folded into the second season.


That said, though, it's an amazingly good show and worth the time to watch. The casting is spot-on, the acting is excellent, the dialog flirts with Tarantino without actually trying to be Tarantino,  the music is great (I can't stand rap, but I can grove to funk), and it's just basically a 21st century retelling of a 1970s blaxploitation movie.

It just deserved a better, perhaps tighter, ending.

Doctor Who: A Final Reprieve

Spoilers.

So here we come at last, the mysteries having been unraveled. The Doctor Falls, for the first 42 minutes or so (the average length of an episode) is, no doubt, very good. The clever flashbacks of the Doctor outsmarting both Masters while tied to a wheelchair and the house under siege were all very serviceable, with the stand-out moments being the cognitive dissonance of Bill barely holding her personality intact inside of a Cyberman body to the point which she still only sees herself while everyone else is skittish and fearful around her, and the Doctor showing shame for the first time since choosing to not save Davros in last year's premiere episode.

But I don't want to talk about that. I want to talk about the extra innings. The last 20 minutes or so.

From the moment Missy and the Master approach the elevator onwards, the episode ramps up to full speed and delivers one blindsiding knockout blow after another. The unanswered question of why Simm's Master regenerated; Missy's change of heart and loyaties; the mutual backstabbing -- Missy with an Assassin's Creed style wrist knife, Simm's Master with a laser screwdriver blast and the implication that she won't regenerate from it.

Make no mistake, though: I completely believe that Missy is not dead, and the trick she pulled earlier in the episode proves it. That woman who told him a long time ago to always carry a spare regeneration circuit,? That was Missy telling him that then. But when did she actually tell him? She'd have to have gone back earlier, as obviously wasn't carrying one then.  No, Missy made it off that forest floor somehow, I firmly believe that. Besides, The Master's been far more dead than just a body on a forest floor. 

Master, Rule Thyself

And in that vein, I'd also like to take note that Michelle Gomez and John Simm have downright astounding chemistry. Capaldi and Gomez have chemistry, but I'd like to think that Ainley and Delgado,  if they could see Simm and Gomez, would have been proud of how well they chewed the scenery together. It was simply amazing watching them work side by side in what I believe to be the first multi-Master story. The hints of Ten's sad motifs were a nice touch in the opening scenes as well. contrasting neatly with Missy's motif of eerie chanting just before the assassination.

Also, Missy's umbrella is sonic. I adore that.

Bill's story is also neatly wrapped up with a season-long Chekhov's gun (something that Moffat is getting progressively better at) as her grief summons Heather, aka The Pilot from the first episode of the series, and turns what could have been a throwaway line into a completely justified Deus Ex Machina and giving her a properly modern outfit for once.

I've been dreading this season for one reason and one reason alone: Peter Capaldi quickly became my favourite Doctor, rivaling even my childhood hero of Sylvester McCoy's Seventh Doctor. The Pilot's final act of compassion allows him to begin the regeneration process as he staggers about, flashing through his previous lives, before Twelve's innate stubbornness kicks in and he refuses to regenerate. His words echo in my heart as he proclaims he never wants to change again. I, too, would keep Capaldi for as long as he's physically capable of playing the role. But I know that isn't possible. 

"When the Doctor was me..."

It was at that point that I was granted the most wonderful gift I could possibly imagine. Twelve manages to stop his regeneration and is confronted by a familiar face: himself.

His first self, the cantankerous white-haired visage of the First Doctor, played by none other than the man who portrayed William Hartnell in An Adventure in Time and Space, an excellent docu-drama the BBC made about the creation and filming of the beginning of Doctor Who. With this being the last episode of the series, it can only mean one thing: the regeneration won't happen until the Christmas special, and it's going to be special indeed.

The parallels are perfect. The First Doctor fell, "wearing a bit thin" as both he and the War Doctor said, after turning back a Mondasian Cyberman invasion in The Tenth Planet. The implications of this absolute cracker of a blindside means that One is going to be there to ease Twelve through his regeneration, and it'll mark the first time the First Doctor's properly been in a story since his final one. His previous appearances have all been stock footage, filmed separately (due to illness in The Three Doctors), and played by Richard Hurndall who, while decent, is blown away by David Bradley's portrayal. I wonder if this has anything to do with the Caretaker's remark about re-visiting familiar faces... 

I *did* warn you about spoilers.

You absolutely, positively, cannot miss this episode. The episode alone is on par with my previous favourite of the series, The Lie of The Land, but the addition of Missy and The Master and the surprise appearance of the First Doctor tip the scales heavily. I have never so much been left on edge waiting for an episode that's still six months away.  

Doctor Who: The Cruelest Downgrade

The day's wearing a bit thin. I spent most of it drinking and watching NXT Women's matches. If you haven't seen Asuka in action, you really should.

Spoilers beyond here.

"Spoilers!"

This week's episode, World Enough and Time, which shares a title with a fan-produced episode of Star Trek famous enough to have its own Rifftrax commentary, certainly started with a hell of a teaser cold-opening, which was enough of a tease that it hardly needed the cliffhanger it gave us. A cliff-hanger which certainly didn't fail to deliver, but was still hardly on the level of the opener.

Seriously, how do you follow that opener? 

I have not been looking forward to these last few episodes. I've made no secret that Peter Capaldi has been an absolute revelation for me since Doctor Who relaunched in 2005. A cranky, grouchy old Scottish man who is completely out of touch and alien to the niceties of human society, a sort of "House in space" that sounds progressively more indecipherable the angrier he gets, he's been my hands-down favourite of the new series.

So last week's trailer definitely gave the impression we'd get a Missy solo/hero episode while the Doctor kicked back, much like the Doctor-Lite episodes of the RTD era, but it seems that wasn't the case, because as soon as things went pear-shaped in the 400-mile colony ship Twelve came bounding out of the TARDIS to save the day... only for Bill to die again. I swear, she's aiming to take down Rory's record for "Most times dying in a series". I did get serious shades of Red Dwarf from those beauty shots of the colony ship, though.

"Nardole, do something non-irritating." It's like Capaldi's reading my mind. 

The establishing scene was quite good, though, giving Missy a lot of time to show off. I was rather tickled by her early-series shout-out calling herself "Doctor Who" and referring to Bill and Nardole as "Thing One and the Other One" and "Exposition and Comic Relief." Missy seems as apt at breaking the third wall as Deadpool in this episode. 

Nice to see a familiar face. 

Science is pretty hard in this episode, what with the time dilation effect of the black hole the ship is trying to escape. I loved the little detail of the clocks telling two different times, one being only two days into the journey, the other being years, and the implication of the crew that went down to a lower floor never having reported back. For all we know, they're almost finished with their mission, but the bridge won't know for quite some time.

Erin says:  "Hard." Sure. Look, I like the nod to time dilation, but:

1) The clock said 365,200-something. 365,000 days is ONE THOUSAND YEARS. You expect me to believe that in a thousand years, the ship's engines kept going without breaking or running out of fuel? 

2) The engines are clearly spewing reaction mass OUTWARD with the nose of the ship pointing TOWARDS the black hole, and yet we're supposed to believe they're "reversing". 

Sorry, no. I'm not buying it. 

I know Erin had a problem with Missy not remembering the events of the episode, but I recall back to the ending of the 50th anniversary episode, where the War Doctor realized that, even though he'd tried to save Gallifrey, he wouldn't remember it, and would continue on to the PTSD-ridden Ninth Doctor when he regenerated, thinking he'd burned the planet in an attempt to stop the war. This is, of course, in reference the finale of the episode, where John Simm makes his return, sporting a glorious Master-goatee after his unmasking as Mr. Razor.

I readily admit that I was fooled throughout the entire episode, not realizing it was John Simm playing both parts. This was shocking, considering I'm a classic Who fan and should be used to the Master donning disguises for no real reason. The (Simm) Master is apparently unhinged from his own timeline (probably his own doing), leading to the meeting between him and Missy. My only question is where in his timeline is he? He mentions being Prime Minister, but his body was burned after the events of The Last of the Time Lords, and he didn't have the goatee when he returned in the specials. This must be after he forced Gallifrey back through the breach but before regenerating to Missy.

I think this qualifies The Master as a cosmic horror, as he is a thing that truly should not be, given that he's exhausted at least two regeneration cycles now: One during the classic series, transferring his conscious to another body in The Keeper of Traken, and again in the TV Movie, and then being resurrected by human ingenuity later on after refusing to regenerate. Keeping track of his deaths and timeline is something that's sadly even outside of my realm of ability. 

More sinister than you can pack in one picture.

The episode did a very good job of lulling us into a sense of false security with Bill, having her form a relationship with Mr Razor. Making us think she could be repaired after the prosthetics on her chest replaced her heart and lungs and then shocking us with the revelation that she was one of the first Mondasian Cybermen. For the uninitiated, Mondas was the planet the Cybermen were originally from. The majority of Cybermen that we've seen in the new series were offshoots of the Cybus Corporation from Pete's World. This may be the first actual confirmed appearance of the classic series Cybermen in the new series, and tying Bill into it makes it heart-wrenching, considering the telepathic "Wait for me" message the Doctor left in her sub-conscious. 

All in all, an excellent episode after last week's lull. A definite must-see. I am totally not looking forward to next week, as I don't want to lose Capaldi, but at the same time I can't wait to see what happens next. This is the first episode of the season that had me verbally going "No no no!" when the credits rolled. You cannot afford to miss this one.

Next week: "Will you stand with me?" 

Doctor Who: Death By Scotland

Well, that episode certainly happened, didn't it?

In all seriousness, The Eaters of Light isn't a bad episode. It's just a very small episode in which nothing of any great importance happens in the main story. There's a cave, a house, a field, a dodgy CGI monster that we barely see, and about a dozen young actors, one of whom screams very loudly, and half of whom are painfully Scottish.

Oh, and Bill falls down a hole again. I can't help but feel there's some sort of symbolism there, with Bill continuing to fall into holes.

But getting back on track: while this was a decently written episode, and well-filmed (especially the spacious open field shots), the lack of scale and obvious low budget makes it clearly apparent this is a filler episode where they saved money for the upcoming finale episodes. The trade-off for any actual content, unfortunately, means that this episode has enough Noggin scenes to make up for the entire series. He's on-screen probably as much in this episode as he is in every previous episode combined.

There were some good parts:

• The Doctor mentioning being a vestal virgin (second class) in Roman Britain (that's almost certainly the Eighth Doctor. Or maybe the Fifth. One of the pretty ones). 
• The conversation about humans no longer having intelligent conversations with crows, so they're all in a huff and no longer speaking to us. 
• The Doctor's brilliant popcorn maneuver. 
• Kudos to Bill for not only figuring out the TARDIS translation circuit on her own, but also being the first person to notice that it tricks your brain into seeing lip-synching as well. 
• The guest cast is serviceable enough for what they are: two groups of inexperienced kids. 
• The monster is an interesting design, but I'm not sure the CGI really does it any favours.

What else can I say about this episode, though? It's an obvious budget-saver episode, either because the BBC isn't giving the show as much money as it used to, or because they're saving up for a huge finale. There's exactly one thing memorable about this episode: the ending.

What will you do, how will you feel, when your sins catch up to you?

Missy's out of the vault and waiting for them in the TARDIS. The Doctor is extending a measure of trust to her, possibly hoping that trust will rehabilitate her. Surprisingly, the most poignant part isn't where she actually cries after taking his advice; it's when he isn't sure whether it's an act or not, and which might be worse. The implication here is that if someone who has done the things that she's done - committed the most vile and evil acts that she has - actually grows a conscience, she will be utterly crushed by the weight of all of that catching up to her.

"It's hard to resist."

"That's the trouble with hope. It's hard to resist." That's a line that'll stay with me for a very long time, given certain directions my life has taken recently.

Next week: The most retro-classic Cybermen in decades, and Missy gets her own adventure, with the last frames being the startling and terrifying appearance of John Simm with the one Master-esque thing he was missing from his previous appearances: the trademark evil goatee.

Doctor Who: Space 1889!

The Doctor breaking into NASA is starting to become a habit. He really does play the best pranks on them.

You may be wondering about the title of the review, given that the episode's name is actually Empress of Mars. Or you may not, given the audience. Space: 1889 was a tabletop RPG that had a Victorian Era English Empire exploring and colonizing various planets, but since I'm really not one for tabletop RPGs, I found it through an audio drama series produced by Noise Monster (run by an associate of Big Finish, who do the officially licensed Doctor Who audio dramas). So when I saw, in last week's preview, Victorian Era British uniforms and Ice Warriors, I was pumped. Does the episode live up to my hype?

I approached it with some trepidation, as the writer Mark Gatiss wrote one of the best episodes of the first season, the worst of the second, one of the better of season 5 and the lesser of season 6, two good ones in season 7, and two bad ones in seasons 8 and 9 (including one of my absolute worst, the eye-booger monster episode).

NASA really should have seen this coming by now.

So after using the same baggy orange spacesuits for the last 8 seasons, the Doctor has finally raided the wardrobe for some flattering sleek black suits for he and Bill, which I must say accentuate his trim figure while still being functional and giving a much more imposing presence. (They don't look so bad on Bill, either.)

I have very few problems with this episode -- chief among them being Bill surviving a fall early on that looks as if it really should have shattered her face -- but I can forgive that given it forces Nibble to exit the episode around this point in order to fetch Missy for a rescue, thus ensuring Michelle Gomez gets precious more screen-time. It's also odd that the TARDIS exited when it did; the last time the HADS went off was in Cold War, also in the proximity of an Ice Warrior. You'd think that the Doctor would have remembered to turn it off at some point.

There are already websites reviewing this episode as "Socially Conscious" (which I guess is a fancy way of saying "woke" now that "woke" is quickly falling out of favour amongst their crowd). I will rebut this: It is no more "woke" than any other episode.

• The British Empire was very imperialistic, thus statements like "We're British, Mars is part of the Empire now" wouldn't have been out of place had this happened. 
• Bill's response to the Colonel's disbelief that a woman would serve in the police is the exact opposite that a "woke" episode would have had. A "woke" episode would have had her give a lecture on woman power and equity and privilege imbalances etc, etc, but Bill simply says "I'll make allowances for your Victorian attitude... well, because you are Victorian" and leaves it at that. 
• Couple that with Twelve's poetic words about how vicious and yet how sensitive the Ice Warriors are, and Bill's comparison to Vikings, and you simply have an episode that is recognizing the differences and similarities between different people,  allwhile portraying historically-based characters accurately.

Finally! After 5000 years I'm free! It's time to conquer Earth!

Speaking of the Ice Warriors, it's good to see them again. They frequently top the "best classic bad guys" lists, despite not actually being that adversarial to the Doctor. The last time we met them was just a single soldier (albeit a very dangerous one). This time we see much more, even if they do their best to trick us visually by rarely if ever showing more than three on-screen at a time (a classic series budget-saving technique).

The exception to this, of course, being Empress Iraxxa, the titular Empress of Mars, who has a very striking visual design and a very imposing presence. When she first spoke, I could swear I'd heard her voice before, but the IMDB page for the actress, Adele Lynch, shows only this and a few episodes of The Bill. Quite an impressive performance on her part for someone with such a short CV! I have a feeling she's done her time on stage prior to this.

I would also like to mention that Ice Warrior weaponry, despite being completely bloodless, is horrifyingly brutal. That looks like an extremely unpleasant way to die.

If you know your Who history, and are paying attention, this episode loops back to a Third Doctor episode, with the Ice Warriors making contact with a familiar face... or eye, at least. Alpha Centauri of the Galactic Federation appears in two classic serials alongside the Ice Warriors (presumably taking place after this episode) and is voiced by none other than the original voice actor, Ysanne Churchman (who is now 92 years old!).

All in all, a very good episode. Not quite as good as Extremis, but as good as The Lie of the Land, I would say, and the second best this year. This season seems to be providing a lot of historical episodes: The Frost Fair, The British Empire, and next week we seem to be visiting the Romans and possibly dabbling in explaining some mythology (with aliens, I hope). But don't miss Empress of Mars. It's definitely worth a watch.

Doctor Who: Down The Rabbit Hole

There is seriously no way I can discuss this episode without going into spoiler territory. This is the only warning you get. Anything past here and you risk spoilers. If you want the non-spoiler version, here it is: This episode is good. Very good. And you should go watch it, right now.

Elon Musk has posited before that there's a very good chance that we're all living in a highly sophisticated simulation during a talk. I've included an embedded link to a relevant video below, as the themes of this episode tie very closely into that theory. The misdirection and slight visual cues this episode uses to link that theory and give us clues begin with the opening title and continue at strategic points throughout the episode, until the moment where (with some great deal of satisfaction on my part) Narwhal is literally removed from existence. I suppose you could say that this is the first episode in which he doesn't appear at all, technically speaking. Which also explains why he was so much less annoying than usual.



Also, a tip of the hat to Stephen Moffat, who has finally justified the Sonic Sunglasses in my mind. In the Doctor's current blind state, the sunglasses provide him some form of mobility and sense, not quite on par with, say, Daredevil, but definitely in the same vein, as well as the perfect Chekhov's gun in the form of an electronic recording to send to himself. Well, his real self. Which we see happen in the beginning, but the interruption of the title sequence acts as a misdirection to pull our attention away from the giant EXTREMIS display.

Being a gamer myself, I was fascinated by this episode, and the usage of Grand Theft Auto and Super Mario Bros as analogy to explain to Bill what's going on was quite apt. Subroutines advanced enough to realize that they are in fact subroutines and not flesh and blood rebel against the simulation and "glitch." Having played quite a few games in my lifetime, I've seen a number of instances where an artificial intelligence for an non-player character will act in a manner seemingly outside of its programming. One can't help but wonder if it's some crude version of this happening. As for the Veritas itself, can this be the explanation of game-breaking bugs? An NPC realizing during the coding process that it's not real and sabotaging the code to the point that the game cannot be completed?

Harry Potter is blasphemy. Twelve said so.

This episode was very clever. It's full of little callbacks, references, visual cues, red herrings, and other such things that are meant to lead you to the conclusion while at the same time leading you away from it. It was the first time this year I wasn't just watching and was actively trying to figure out what was going on. There's occasionally digital artifacting that happens after the Doctor activates the Extremis file. The Pope traveling in person, which the Doctor remarks upon. Bill's outfit, as seen above, actually being modern and tasteful. Someone in the wardrobe department really hates her, as she's back in an ugly sweater by the end of the episode. The "portals" which are not unlike the windows Madame Kovarian uses to spy on Amy's flesh avatar. CERN somehow having a stockpile of Looney Toons dynamite on hand. The resolution also was quite satisfying, as even a copy of the Doctor ends up being clever enough to overcome his programming and sabotage the simulation enough to send a warning to his real-world counterpart, even if it's more evidence of how stultifyingly arrogant and confident in himself that he is.

Additionally, the monsters revealed in this episode may be alien, but they look like proper zombies, which is refreshing after the disappointment of the zombies in space of last week's episode, and they're promising as a series arc villain. Anyone else noticing that Bill is making quite the habit of dying, though? She's going to give Rory a run for his money if she keeps this up.

The vault's secret has been revealed. Missy, under guard for one thousand years, as per the Doctor's oath to the executioners, as shown in the flashbacks. How long has he been guarding it? That's what we're unsure of at this point. We know who is in the vault, and why she's there. What we don't know is how much longer she'll be there, and what will happen when she's out. The appearance of John Simm's Master will surely tie into that.

We all have that one friend we can't help but forgive. 

This one is a definite must-watch. The first definite must-watch of the season. I am outright impressed, and I urge you to watch this episode, and if you already have, watch it again with a more critical eye and foreknowledge. You'll see the clues that are leading you both on and off the path and just how well-crafted this one was.

Also, for the record, Penny is most certainly *not* out of Bill's league. If anything, it's the other way around.

Doctor Who: Zombies! In! SPAAAACE!

Hearing Peter Capaldi saying "Space: The Final Frontier" was magnificent, as was his opening speech, but that doesn't take away from the issues I have with this episode.

I love a good bit of science fiction. I love a good bit of outer space. I even love me some zombies. So why didn't I love this one? That's what I'll try and find out.

Let's start with what I did like.

• I did like his Space monologue, both in the cold open and in the class. 
• I did like his antagonizing of Naggle. 
• I did like the line "You only see the true face of the universe when it's asking for help." 
• I liked how, when Twelve told Bill she was in artificial gravity, the first thing she did was hop. 
• And finally, I did like the throwback to the very first appearance of the Daleks, where the First Doctor claims the TARDIS is disabled because of a "fluid link."
• I did like how Bill got called a racist for her reaction to a blue person and her insistence that she's not, immediately following her fascination with how Dahh'ren's name was pronounced. 

           

Things I most certainly did not like include:

• Naggle's prominence in the episode 
• The damage done to the Screwdriver (those damn glasses are back, aren't they?) 
• Bill is still 30 years out of date with her fashion (crop top and denim jacket with ripped jeans?). 
• The twist ending that has implications that I certainly hope aren't going to last the rest of the season. 
• Seriously, what kind of deal with a crossroads demon did Matt Lucas make to get Naggle as a recurring character? He's not funny. He's just snide and whiny. 
• Trying to convince us that they'd killed Bill off. Twice. In 15 minutes' time. 

Pictured: Doctor, Companion, Waste of Oxygen, in reverse order.

I'm very conflicted about the other elements of the episode. In the current political climate, there are extremists that genuinely believe that capitalism in its current state is exactly the same as what is portrayed here. I'm trying to believe, given the way certain themes have been portrayed in other episodes recently, that it's only coincidence. Humanity has, in canon and in reality, had its ups and downs, and expansion into space would only make oversight more difficult. It's not hard to believe that a corporation would become greedy enough that it would consider its workers expendable, but the entire setup of oxygen being supplied by the 'company store' instead of actually being in the station like any regular setup (say, with primary and redundant filters, vents and pumps, and CO2 scrubbers) seems wildly inefficient (or purposefully malevolent). I'm trying not to think that this is a 'message' story; the writer, Jamie Matheson, is responsible for two surprisingly outstanding episodes, Mummy on the Orient Express and Flatline, as well as the introduction of the character of Me, formerly Ashildr, so 'message fiction' isn't really his track record with the series so far.  

Since the first series with the Ninth Doctor, there's always been at least one episode per season that I don't go back and rewatch later. From the Slitheen episodes to eye-booger monsters, the possessed television monster to the Robin Hood episode, there's usually an episode each season that just falls short, and I really feel like Oxygen is going to be the one I pass over this time around. If, by the time you read this, you haven't seen it, you needn't make it a priority. It was rarely good, a bit of a let-down at times, and mostly forgettable.

Vault update: Naggle nags at Twelve and is reassured that Twelve is, indeed, still guarding the vault. At the end of the episode, we learn that the door may open on its own, and that Naggle refers to its occupant as Twelve's "friend." Couple that with the brief flash of Missy at the very end of the 'next time' trailer, and the signs are certainly pointing in a specific direction... but is that a misdirection itself?

[shameless self-shilling here - still looking for work. Contributions welcome at Paypal, reverendsalem@gmail.com]

Knock Knock, Doctor Who's There?

OoooOOOohh. Haven't had a haunted house story in a while.

Bill's wardrobe never ceases to confuse me. Horizontal pastel stripes and overalls? The more I see of it, the more I'm convinced she's out of her own time stream, and she's supposed to be from the Eighties. Her soundtrack motif is growing on me, though; it's cute and simple.

The Doctor brought up Regeneration, and I think he's getting her ready for his. The next Doctor has already been cast, in case you haven't heard: it's the gobby one from Love, Actually. The 'bo'ol' one that picks up Americans with his accent. I'm not sure about that choice.

The basic premise of the episode starts off simply enough: a group of students, Bill included, are looking for a cheap house and find a giant old mansion at a suspiciously cheap rate.  In the stinger, one student is... affected by the house, and more follow shortly. After helping Bill move in, the Doctor notices something off about the house and stays to investigate. Upon meeting the landlord, the Doctor noticeably interposes himself between the landlord and the students, perhaps telegraphing the climax of the episode.

There's a draft.

Bill continues to shine. I really like the way they're writing her character; she's not smug or overly clever, but she thinks very logically, and they show it off in her actions, instead of her words or by having other people tell us how good she is. This is very important, as one of the reasons a lot of people were unfortunately turned off to Clara (pre-timeline crisis) was that she was quite smug, and everyone around her was telling us how important she was, as opposed to her just showing it.

I would ask Bill not to sit on the TARDIS console anymore, though. Butt-dialing a TARDIS sounds incredibly dangerous.

The guest cast is serviceable, even if (in the immortal words of Supergirl's Cat Grant) they "look like the attractive yet non-threatening, racially diverse cast of a CW show." with two varieties of Asian (one of them a woman) and a Russian. No one else really stands out, aside from the sinister Landlord.

The "monster" of the week is quite well done, also. Excellent make-up work, if not the first time we've seen someone made of her... materials.

Finally, it doubles as a torch. 

Nazghul Nardole makes a brief appearance near the end of the episode. It seems his only real function is to say a few snarky lines, chastise the Doctor, and walk off-screen, as it's all he's been doing recently. He could have been removed entirely from the scene and it would have suffered none for it. Capaldi has proven previously that he can carry an entire episode on his own, let alone one scene per episode. Nardole just feels unnecessary so far.

So, the vault in the university basement. We know there's someone in there now, someone who can play the piano and likes scary stories, if not Mexican food. Someone who considers themselves a prisoner. I have two theories on this:

• Theory one is that Twelve is making good on Ten's promise, and has caught Missy and is holding her. 
• Theory two is that, pursuant to the rumours of John Simm's Master returning, that he's holding him as a contingency plan against her return.

This wasn't a bad episode, overall, but neither was it a stand-out. The pacing is weird; my timer says the episode is 44 minutes, but it feels like it hits its peak very quickly and is maybe half that in length. Ironically, for a show about time travel, it feels much shorter than it really is. While there's a few key elements in the over-arching mystery of the vault in the University basement, there's not much that happens during this episode, and if you had to skip one so far, this would be the one. Expect my opinion on this to change next week, as the trailer shows that the annoying bald one goes with them on their next adventure and will likely have more screen time.