I Made This

Well, to be correct it was started by Aimee Morgan and contributed to by Mark Gipson, and the image made by Gordon Mac Promish. I added the rest of the words and arranged it.

Yeet is a versatile word. It is an excited shout; it also means "to throw something at something else". For example, if a basketball player were to shoot a three-pointer that they are sure will go in the hoop, they will yeet (shout) while yeeting (throwing the ball). Others watching the shot may also yeet if they wish, although they should be careful not to yeet and spoil the shot. However, the yeeter's opponents may also try to yeet (while yeeting) the yote before it yites the yute.

This reminds me of something I wrote back in January.

For those who don't speak the lingo:

• To be "fleek" or "on fleek" is to be impeccably groomed; stylish; fashionable. 
• To "skeet" is to ejaculate.
• We've already covered "yeet". 

You may now hate me if you must. 

The DM's Lament

I need 6 more hours in my day in order to get stuff done. Can anyone tell me where I can go to get a 30 hour day? Maybe start a petition at Whitehouse.gov or Moveon.org?

At any rate, this has been another typical week of being tired and working hard with little to show for my efforts. I'm even late in posting a silly little video that I should have done on Wednesday night.

Not only is this funny and fits within my experience as a DM, but the tone of tired frustration nicely matches how I feel in Real Life.

How to Create a Gun-Free America in 5 Easy Steps

In the liberal view of the world, abortions would continue unabated if Roe v. Wade were repealed tomorrow. When discussing the efficacy of the war on drugs, the vibrance of the black market is readily acknowledged and used as justification for ending these destructive policies. But our flawed narrative on gun control is propagating the absurd idea that outlawing guns will be different and will definitely reduce violence, with no regard for the unintended consequences of enforcing such a ban. If our aim is to reduce the level of violence in society, we must consider what such bans can actually achieve and the effects they’re likely to have, not fall into the easy habit of reactionary regulation.
-- Liz Wolfe, "The Narrative on Gun Control is Dangerously Misleading"

"But whatever, fuck it. Go big or go home, right?"- 0:47

Because I hate leaving good lines on Facebook

So apparently there's a "Transgender War on English" now? Wow. This is the first I've heard of it.

How exciting!  This does however lead to several burning questions:

• Why was I not ordered to enlist or report for duty?
• Where exactly are the front lines?
• Do I need my Mosin?
• Which side do I fight on, anyway? Because as David Blackard at BCP will tell you, I am an intense grammarian; but yet I am also trans. 
• Do I still get to wear my witch costume if I end up fighting against political correctness?

I need to know these things!

And god bless my Facebook friends. They came up with some good lines, too:

Did you miss the draft? Oh good grief, seriously? Well ... I don't know what to say. Millions of letters went out. Oh dear god, I hope the addresses weren't mis-spelt. The shame.

I think you might be called to referee.

I can't say whether you would NEED your Mosin, but it's always a fine fashion statement.

But this is my favorite:

Perhaps because you're just in the Transgender Militia, which is only activated after the Active Transgender Army, Transgender Reserves and Transgender Inactive Ready Reserve. Surely the National Transgender Guard would be committed long before the Transgender Militia.

In conclusion, take it away, Eddie Izzard:

Today, we are all Irish...

... even ponies!

Lyra is Lord of the Prance!

Lyra wishes everypony a happy Saint Paddock's Day!

All images taken from here. I do not know who originally drew them, nor do I claim ownership of these pictures.

Catching Up

It is with wry amusement that I note that I haven't done any of my regular posts yet, despite having posted every day this week.  I suppose I could fix that by making multiple posts, but.... eh, fuckit. I'm lazy, and besides I find it amusing to mash these together.


Monday Gunday

This is a video that I found via Failure to Fire and had kept for a rainy day. If you're at all interested in the difference between size, appearance, and performance of various handgun calibers (Miakoda, I'm looking at you), this will be both entertaining and informative.  Gunnies will probably just find it mildly amusing.





Traveller Tuesday

This website is a dandy app for people running a merchant campaign but, like me, don't like doing math on the fly. It calculates passengers, freight, and speculative cargo as well as the possibility of carrying mail. It has some quirks, but I'm talking to the fellow who wrote it and improvements are being made.


Wednesday Night Wackiness

All right, so this video isn't especially wacky. It's still an impressive because it successfully mashes classical and dubstep into one heck of an earworm. Enjoy!





There. All caught up!

Moar Poniez

Sunday has basically become my day to post cute/awesome/funny pony pics on this blog.  I wonder if I should just give in and make a "Sunday Pony Sunday" tag.

And now, videos!

First up, from the creators of (and as a sequel to) Epic Wub Time, we have Sunrise Surprise:





Next up is Project Thundercloud, which honestly feels a bit unfinished -- like it might be an extra-long trailer for a movie or something. Sadly, I think it is finished, and this video won't be expanded upon. That's a shame, because it gives a lovely look at the origin and history of Derpy Hooves, and is voiced Bald Dumbo Rat, aka "That girl who YouTube has decided sounds most like how Derpy should sound."





And finally we have Button's Adventures, which is hopefully the first in a series.  I adore this video because it shows a child character acting  like a child. It just rings true to me. And it's funny as well!





Goodnight everyone! Have a nice work week, and if your Monday starts off badly, I hope these cheer you up!

Science!

Still playing catch-up. I have to take my father car shopping this afternoon, so this might be the only chance I have to post something today. Therefore, I present you with this postulate:


I put it to you that bullets are not, in fact, solid. Rather, they are an incompressible fluid that flows from areas of greater concentration (magazines and ammo stores) to areas of lesser concentration (downrange).

I base this conclusion upon these facts:

• Ammunition naturally exists in a state of disorder unless acted upon by an outside force (such as being loaded into a magazine)
• Ammunition naturally seeks the lowest point (drop a box and find out)
• Ammunition, collectively, has a specific volume but no specific shape (empty a box into your range bag)
• Ammunition expands (explosively) when heated 
• Ammunition contracts (albeit slightly) when cooled
• Ammunition of one type will readily mix with ammunition of other types (such as, say, inside an ammo box or your range bag)

I realize this will immediately cause contention based upon the premise that different magazines and firearms will not accept all forms of ammunition. I put it to you that this is a shortcoming with the holding vessels (magazines) and bullet-permeable membranes (firearms) and not with the ammunition. After all, will not a Taurus Judge fire both .410 shotshells and .45 Long Colt?

Discuss amongst yourselves. 

WNW: The Taxman Dumbeth

I think there's one thing that we all -- liberals and conservatives, democrats and republicans, and all points in-between -- can agree upon, and that is our mutual hatred of the Tax Man.

From the Daily Show.

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,Indecision Political Humor,The Daily Show on Facebook

WNW: Jon Stewart

Okay, technically Jennifer posted this video before I did, but I posted it on my Facebook wall before she did, so I say it all comes out even.

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,Indecision Political Humor,The Daily Show on Facebook

Friday Facebook Funnies

1) 

Facebook Friend 1:  So, apparently, yesterday (April 30) was Dead Hitler Day and I'm only now finding out about this. I seriously feel fucking cheated now.

Facebook Friend 2:  With bin Laden's death on the same day I thought it was more of a general "Death to the enemies of America" day...



2)
This webcomic is basically "My Little Pony" crossed with "Calvin & Hobbes."  If you like either of those, you should give it a look. If you like both, you need to start reading it IMMEDIATELY.

3)
Me:  I have been dubbed "Princess Daintyhooves" by Mike SixEight. So it is written, so mote it be.



4)
One person asked to hear my voice, and so I made this brief recording on Vocaroo.  It's gotten 15 "Likes" and over a dozen comments about how lovely it is. I actually don't get that, because I think I sound hoarse and nasal and terrible, but whatever.




5)
Technically only on Facebook because I posted it, this comes via Borepatch:

A black day
On this day 211 years ago, Washington D.C. was incorporated. Other than a brief respite when the British burned the White House and Capitol, it's been all down hill since.

The Phrase of the Day

I'm not 40,  I'm 10mm!

A joke I just wrote

So, the new Pope (work with me here, it's a joke) is flying to the Vatican when his plane crashes in an isolated forest. Fortunately, he and his retinue are all right, but they have to hike through the woods in order to reach rescue.

Not long after the crash, the Pope is overcome with a sudden bout of intestinal distress and goes off to find a secluded place to relieve himself. Unfortunately for him, no sooner has he "dropped trou" when a massive bear, thinking it has found dinner, rears up on its hind legs and roars. Literally caught with his pants down, the Pope does the only thing he can think of: he holds up his hands in the sign of blessing and says "Pax vobiscum!" (Peace be with you.)

To his astonishment, the bear makes the sign of the Cross with its paw and wanders off. The Pope, quite naturally, pulls up his pants and rejoins his group, where he tells them of the miracle he just witnessed.

As they resume their hike, one of the cardinals quips "Well, we know the bear is Catholic, but we may never find out if the Pope shits in the woods."

WNW: Let's Go and Meet the Bronies

If you have ever wondered why I like ponies, you should watch this video.

If you are uncertain why this generation of ponies is better than all the others, you should watch this video.

If you're already a fan of the show, then you should WATCH THE DANG VIDEO!

And yes, that is indeed John "Q" de Lancie doing the singing.

Revenge is a dish best served pastel

There is a family -- mother, father, son & daughter) that comes visit us every Saturday because we adopted their dog when they moved into no-pets-allowed housing. For several months they have been teasing me about my love for My Little Pony. It's mostly been the mother (41) giving me grief, but to a lesser extent her son (12) and daughter (9) as well.

I've mostly shrugged and laughed it off, because screw them, ponies are awesome.

Last week, however, I asked the little girl if she'd like to borrow my DVD of The Friendship Express just so she could "give it a try and see why I like it." She reluctantly said yes, more to humor me than out of any real desire to see it.

A few days later I got a call from her mother saying that the girl loved the DVD and would not stop watching it. It was playing in the car even as she spoke.

Success! I told this to my mother, who laughed and said "You've converted another one."

Yesterday, as it turned out, was the daughter's birthday. When my mom went shopping last week, she picked up some pony dolls for her. When we met today, we presented her with Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Lyra (because those are what the store had).

The little girl shrieked with delight at her presents and became  a blur of motion, alternately playing with the toys and telling her mother about this pony or that pony. Her mother was clearly exasperated and at her wits' end and sick of being subjected to so much pony.

Naturally, I encouraged this and chimed in with my own pony thoughts and observations, quoted lines back at her, sang along, etc. Even the little boy admitted that some of the jokes were funny, and outed himself as knowing who the characters were by naming Pinkie Pie, Applejack, etc.

The best part is, never even intended for this to be payback. But oh, how I did laugh when it turned out that way!

Mine is an evil yet adorable laugh.

Revenge is a dish best served pastel, motherbuckers.

A quick shout-out for fellow music nerds

Today, in the kitchen of Chateau Palette:

Me:  What's for lunch?
Her: Chicken piccata.
Me:  (singing) Chicken piccata... piccata mundi....
Her: (baffled look)

What's sad is that she should already know this, because she's practicing a version of Agnus Dei in choir. 

If you don't get the joke, go here. 

Now THIS is a campaign ad

Wow. Why can't the presidential candidates have campaign ads as awesome as this one?




Funny, effective, and with a budget. Hell, even the "I approve this message" is delivered convincingly.

A tip o' the hat to Silicon Graybeard for this.

I have to confess, I'm tempted

Admittedly, I'm no longer in the D.C. metro area, so my temptation status is purely academic. However. who among us would not entertain this notion, even if only for a moment?

Woman DM needed for D&D based Adult Bachelor Party (Pringe George's County, MD)

Description:
Looking for a woman with Dungeon Master experience in Dungeons and Dragons (specifically 3.0 or 3.5 editions) to run a game. The event is for a Bachelor Party and the "future husband to be" would prefer if the DM could be topless. With that said, I ensure you that nothing else is expect of you other than an exciting adventure.

Oh come on. You're totally thinking about it right now.

On this Labor Day...

... I give you a slightly edited and improved (for clarity) commercial I had in a dream, probably inspired by the day and this news item. 

Interior: a ledge of wooden rafters against a wall with high windows. We are made to think this is the interior of a church, perhaps Saint Basil's Cathedral in Moscow.

Vladimir Ilyich Lenin (hereafter VIL) steps into frame from stage left. Instead of his traditional black suit he is wearing a tight t-shirt with slacks and dress shoes, hipster-style. The shirt is festooned with colorful designs that simultaneously suggest Tetris blocks, political graffiti, and Soviet-era art. 

VIL thoughtfully takes a few steps onto a crossbeam, then notices the camera to his right. He stops, carefully turns, and addresses the audience. 

VIL:  Modern political fashion can be a bit of a balancing act. On the one hand, a dedicated revolutionary should make every effort to convince other workers that his cause is just. On the other...

Cut to: a scene depicting a bourgeois capitalist pigdog, finely dressed, getting rich off the honest labors of the working man by selling Che Guevara t-shirts to noble, hardworking proletariat for literal buckets of money.

VIL (voiceover): ... one does not wish to give aid and comfort to one's political enemies simply because they control the means of distribution.

Back to VIL, looking straight down the camera, face-only.

VIL: That is why, on this Glorious People's Day of Labor, I, Vladimir Ilyich Lenin, am proud to announce...

Cut to wide shot. VIL's arms spread wide. To either side of him are large workmen, dressed in equally tight t-shirts.

VIL: ... the Second October Revolution! (SFX:  echo and reverb)

(Back to 3/4 shot of VIL)

VIL: Yes my friends! Today is a glorious day! Today, the workers take back style! From each, according to their sense of design! To each, according to their sense of fashion!

VIL begins stalking across the beam towards stage right, knocking over the workers in his way. Those further back, seeing the trend, dive off into oblivion.)

VIL: The workers control the means of production! Without the workers, you have no shirts! Do you truly wish to be seen as ideologically naked in this political struggle of class versus crass?

VIL stops again; head turns to the right to address camera once more.

VIL: (roaring) NO! Down with the industrial bourgeoisie! Up with the industrial  proletariat! Buy Second October Revolution apparel TODAY!

VIL stalks off-camera as the Second October Revolution logo appear: a dollar sign, a hammer and sickle, and a profile of Lenin, each indicative of the letters S, O, and R. 

Voiceover: Available at these fine outlets.

Fade-in logos of stores carrying the SOR brand, such as Aeropostale, Hot Topic, and Banana Republic. Linger for three seconds, then cut. 

Yes, even my dreams are full of satire.

Please tell me that all of you get this. I hate having to explain my humor...

Monday Gun-Yay!

Hello Bronies.  Look at your rifle, then back to me. Then back to your rifle, then back to me.

http://static.fimfiction.net/images/story_images/17853.png?1332926200

Look again!  Your rifle is now Fluttershy.

http://www.neatorama.com/2012/08/19/iMy-Little-Ponyi-Rifle/

Anything is possible when you mix guns and ponies!

I'm a little horse. 

/oldspice