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Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Juggling Chainsaws

Countdown to the Bidet Shoot: Day 4

This post will be brief as I've had a hell of a day and I have to get up early tomorrow. Therefore, you get bullet points.

  • Dad's car died -- suddenly, dramatically -- last week, and so he took the entire week off while it was getting looked at this. This has increased the stress level in the house significantly as dad is one of those crotchety old Jews who isn't happy unless he's miserable and complaining. 
  • Also, it turns out he has Parkinson's. Yay.
  • Those two points came together today when mom had to drive dad to his appointment in her car, and then run errands, and she missed her nap. A napless mom is a cranky thing. 
  • Topping it off, the fellow with whom I was going to carpool up to the Bidet Shoot told me the following: I dropped off my car at the MB dealership this morning for a pre-trip oil change. The check engine light came on the other day so I told them to check that out as well, assuming I needed an O2 sensor or spark plugs or some other minor stuff. They just called to let me know the balance shaft bearings are kissed, and they're causing timing chain slap, thus the engine popped codes. Bottom line, $5,400 for the repair, and about a week. If I drive it to KY we're going to be sitting on a grenade. They can't get it fixed in time, and I'm not sure I want to dump that kind of cash into it anyway. I may have to buy a new car.
  • This is me, freaking right the fuck out. 
  • I'm usually pretty good in a crisis, but when I am stressed I cannot do any sort of math, and logistics is math over time. 
  • After having a nice freak-out, I lit the Erin Signal and tapped the Internet Hivemind for help. Got lots of good recommendations, and ended up renting a car via Priceline for $14 a day. Hopefully they'll let me use my NRA discount and coupon for a free weekend day, which would further drive down the price. 
  • The big problem is time. It's a 13 hour drive from Daytona to Land Between the Lakes, and while I could do it in one stretch, it would require me getting up at shitfuck o'clock to do so and I'm just not functional until 10am and two doses of caffeine. 
  • I think it's smarter to do the trip in two parts. I'm picking the car up at noon Thursday and I'm due in KY at 6pm Friday. 
  • It looks like Atlanta is approximately halfway in between. I have highly tentative plans to crash at a friend's place in Marietta. If any of you are in the area and don't mind being my backup plan, please leave a message. 
  • And now I'm off to bed, because tomorrow I have to do my usual volunteer work at the church, and then drive my father around town like I'm a goddamn chauffeur, and then pack like a lunatic so I will be ready for Thursday. 
  • I swear to God, if any of you assholes light my chainsaws on fire, I will fucking shoot you. 
  • ZZZzzzzzz.


  1. Erin dear. I am also in the Atlanta Area. You're welcome to use Dobermanplace as your B-Plan.

  2. Sounds like a solid case of the week from hell. Hang in there, please. Sorry I missed your ping.

  3. If the ATL fails, come towards Charlotte and I would be glad to give you shelter.

  4. You are primary backup. Please email me your phone # and address in case something changes at the last minute!


  6. I think the NRA upgrade gets you a truck with four wheel drive, that smells like a steak and seats 35


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