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Wednesday, March 5, 2014

So, that happened.

An open letter to a certain blogger, who shall remain nameless:

You know, I thought we were friends. And, as friends, I thought that meant we could disagree on certain things without taking it personally.

Apparently I was wrong, as you have currently written not one but four screeds on your blog, each one more frothingly upset than the last, where you manage to insult me, my hobby, my blog, and my co-writers, using such words as "bigotry" and "bullshit" and "masturbatory".  What is worse, you also withdrew your written statement of support for my coming out -- which, to be fair, is not a big deal in and of itself, but the fact that it happened at the same time you wrote these angry blogs is pretty darn telling.

And all of this because I disagreed with you. Wow. Just wow, dude.  That really hurts.

I'm not sure what hurts me more:  That you value our friendship so little that you're willing to throw it away over a disagreement as trivial as this; or that you talk trash about me and mine in an attempt to get back at me; or that you'd rather badmouth me behind my back than talk to me, in person, like an adult.

I don't think you truly understand how much this has hurt me, that you would throw our friendship away over what amounts to a simple "Your Thing X sucks. My Thing Y is better."   The distress you've caused me has basically ruined my entire day, as I've tried to figure out why you'd do this to me.

You have a track record of letting your mouth and your temper get you into trouble. I know all too well that there are bloggers you will have no dealings with because, in one way or another, they offended you. When this happened I would give you my advice and defend you to others.  I have defended you a lot over the years, both because I knew you and your intentions to be good, and because I give my friends the benefit of the doubt.  I feel hurt, I feel sick, I feel betrayed that you could not extend this simple courtesy to me as well.

So be it. It is with heavy heart that I accept your un-friending. While I would like to keep our friendship, I see that this is a pattern with you and that I am not immune from your rage, your temper, your verbal abuse. I respect myself too much to be subject to this kind of thing, especially when I do not deserve a single drop of it.


PS:  You will note that I have not mentioned your name. I do not intend to mention it to anyone who asks. However, if you should decide to comment here, please note that you are outing yourself in so doing, and therefore opening yourself up for further criticism.  Were I you, I would simply let the matter drop.

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