This Actually Happened

I keep telling people I am a massive nerd, and yet whenever a situation where I need to demonstrate that fact arises, they usually look startled or surprised at the breadth of my nerdiness.


Case in point:

Today I was at my church like I am every Thursday, arranging the powerpoint display for the hymns we sing. After I finish up, I go to the church office (to tell them that I'm done and to turn in my folder) where I encounter our church secretary talking to some woman I'd never seen before.

"This is Erin," the secretary introduces me. "She does our powerpoint."

"Pleased to meet you, Erin," says the stranger as she shakes my hand. And when she introduces herself, I swear that I hear her say her name is "Aykaysha."

(I suppose I ought to state for the record that this lady had a complexion that could have been Hispanic, could have been Asian Indian, or could have been just really tan.)

"Cool name!" I said, smiling. "I like it."

She gives me a funny look. "Normally when people say that, they have something to say, or something to ask. You look like you have something to ask."

I thought about this for a moment. "I have to warn you," I warned her. "I am a MASSIVE nerd. Do you really want to hear it?"

"Absolutely."

"Okay," I say, smiling. "So, I assume that your parents are fond of Eastern philosophy? Hinduism, Buddhism, etc?"

She gives me the oddest look, like I'm suddenly speaking in tongues: tilts her head, blinks several times, opens her jaw and works her mouth wordlessly. "... why?" she finally manages to ask.

"Akasha is the Sanskrit word for aether. You know... the metaphysical fifth element? No-space and no-time?  The source and location of ancestral memory?"

She shakes her head. "A-K-A-S-H-A."  I spell it out as if that will explain things. "Your name is Ay-kay-sha, right?  Akasha, Aykaysha?"

She wrinkles her nose like I'm poop on her shoe and says, slowly and deliberately, "My name is spelled A-C-A-C-I-A."

"oh like the tree,"  I say in a small voice, sinking into my chair. "well nevermind then."