The 5 Most Disgustingly Oversexualized Costumes I Saw When Walking Through "Spirit Halloween" Monday Night.

Outrage! Click the link and be outraged! 

It's that time again, the time of year when innocent people go shopping for costumes so they can have a good time sitting and discussing Important Things with Special People at Halloween parties (and definitely not getting plastered and making out with a complete stranger). And with that comes the societal pressures that the Patriarchy puts on women to dress as "sexy" versions of costumes. Fine thinkers such as Laci Green and the folks over at Jezebel have pontificated to a great extent on the oppression laid bare by our society. So, in that spirit, I took a stroll through the Spirit Halloween store (located in just about every city in America for the next week or so) and have documented the five most disgustingly objectifying costumes I could find.

1: Sexy Cat In The Hat

That's right. Even Dr Seuss isn't safe from the disgusting objectification of our society. Note the clear differences between the male version (displayed in the picture and obviously not included in the package) and the female version. See how the male version looks completely normal and accurate to the source material, while the female version accentuates the female form and bares so much more of that filthy flesh.

2: Sexy The Walking Dead Michonne

Michonne is a beloved female lead character in AMC's The Walking Dead. On the show, she tends to wear body-hugging clothing, but it's still functional, as it's meant to make it harder for zombies to grab loose clothing. Her one concession is to modesty, where she covers that form-hugging clothing with a loosely draped cloak, often imbued with zombie viscera to throw them off of her scent. See here how the costume completely misses the point, instead sexualizing her struggle to survive in the zombie apocalypse.

3: Sexy Dottie The Clown

Even beloved childhood entertainers are not safe here, as this ladiess clown costume obviously veers wildly into the 'sexy' territory. I mean, look at those bared elbows! Those exposed ankles!

4: Sexy Baby Jammies

And speaking of childhood, not even children are safe, as this takes an adorable baby's pajama outfit and cuts it down to nothing but a mere slip of a costume, exposing things a baby should never be exposing, and coupling it with a huge phallic object.

5: Sexy PBJ

And the coup de grace, a Halloween costume that blatantly perpetuates Patriarchy, insinuating that a woman's costume is incomplete without a complementary man's costume. Literally a sexualized piece of bread with jelly that is clearly a menstrual metaphor, and useless without the man's sticky contribution.











I'm sure I don't have to explain that this is completely satire. The purpose for writing this is that I'm getting a little sick of hearing about sexualized Halloween costumes. Yes, there are a lot. Yes, some of them are sexualized versions of other costumes that aren't. But you know what? They sell *really* well. And it's not guys buying them. If you're bothered by what a woman is wearing, that might be a problem with you and not with the women that enjoy wearing them, with the companies making the costumes, or with the society that gets a laugh out of it. There's plenty of well-made, non-sexualized costumes available in lots of stores. Even non-sexualized versions of sexy costumes. So please. Do yourself (and the rest of us) a favour and go buy one of them, go out to a Halloween party with some friends, and enjoy your evening. I'd love to say that's what I'll be doing, but I'll be at work.