I posted this to Facebook with the caption Wow, I have no idea why this person is single....
A friend replied with Not sure what gender this person is, but I want to add the caption: "If Gaston had a Mensa card."
And then Salem, in his guise as MC Sal McG, responded with this delightful filk:
Nooooo oooonnnee'sWould you like to hear Salem sing that? Of course you would.
Smart like Gaston
No one brags like Gaston
No one talks about percentile marks like Gaston
As a specimen yes they're ingratiating
My what a guy, Gaston!
No one jogs like Gaston
Burns off carbs like Gaston
No one hits the ellipticals quite like Gaston
When he was a lad he'd do 5k a day
Every morning while reading textbooks
Now that he's grown he'll do 10k a day
So his brains can impress like his looks!