SHTFriday: Suicide post-SHTF

No cute blurb this time. Just read it.

Torchwood: A Post-Mortem

     In 2005, there was perhaps the most powerful hype-train that ever rolled down the hype-tracks when Doctor Who, long thought dead having been off the air since 1989 (save for a single TV movie in 1996) was returned, in grand fashion, to television. The new series brought a new generation of fans, watching it on BBC, later on the sci-fi channel, and probably causing the biggest spike in torrent traffic until Game of Thrones came along to trounce everyone. Among the new ideas and characters brought about by the show was omnisexual time-pirate “Captain” Jack Harkness. Charismatic and handsome, with the shiniest, toothiest shit-eating grin you'll ever see, John Barrowman was a one-man sexual revolution in science fiction, and caught on quickly as one of Who's most popular characters of all time.

      So popular, in fact, that when he was left behind after 5 episodes, they gave him his own series. Playing off the “Torchwood” meme that was going on in the series at the time, Harkness was running his own chapter of the covert alien-napping agency that was featured on the mother-show, in what was billed as a darker, more mature Doctor Who for grown-ups. But was it? And what happened to Torchwood? Why isn't it still around?

      Well, In reality, the show started strong, complete with a shock ending for the first episode from big-name actor Indira Varma, but quickly devolved into a muddled mess of swearing and sex. From Gwen cheating on oblivious husband Rhys to Owen nicking a pheromone spray (and endeing up with a small crowd of people in a club having sex with him (creepy, Owen..)), to Jack and Ianto playing Naked Hide The Pocketwatch, the first series could hardly catch its breath from all various forms of sex that kept happening. The stories didn't help the situation, as multiple “sex monsters of the week” popped up, including a gas that possessed people to have sex with it, an alien having sex with a member of the team, and a girl that Ianto was having sex with turned into a robot zombie. This turned a lot of people off to the first season, and led to dwindling ratings, causing quite a few people to miss some late-season good episodes, including the one with the return of a lost teammate, the friendly ghost episode, and some more of Jack Harkness's backstory.

Series 2 was stronger, starting with Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer playing basically Spike from Buffy the Vampire slayer, only a time agent (like Harkness) instead of a Vampire, a parable about terrorism, and a touching story of a WW1 soldier with PTSD. It stumbled a little with a meat-whale and a self-insert fan-fic character gone wrong, but came back strong with an arc that guest-starred Martha Jones from Doctor Who and went into a mild-body-horror storyline with Owen. The rest of the series fizzled a bit after that, culminating in the grand tradition of Torchwood: Somebody on the team's gonna die.

     After Series 2, the show's format changed, and I like to think it changed for the better. Dropping from a 13 episode series to a six-episode miniseries tightened it up, and allowed it to focus on one larger over-arching story instead of several smaller stories, and gave the remaining characters real room to grow. The budget being concentrated into less episodes brought us things like a larger scale and more fantastical effects, including Jack Harkness being blown to smithereens only for his body to reform itself slowly – and very, very painfully. The critical acclaim for Torchwood was at its peak around this time, as well, and Children of Earth, the official name of the miniseries, is remembered fondly among the fanbase.

      After Children of Earth, there was a year without Torchwood, but lots of speculation. Eventually, there was news. Strange news. The BBC was teaming with STARZ to produce a new season of Torchwood. That would be Miracle Day. The premise was simple, but effectively gruesome in its execution. People stopped dying. Gunshot wounds stayed open. Automobile accident victims were broken and twisted, but wouldn't die. Someone burnt to a cinder was still conscious, awake, and in pain. Hospitals were overrun, and the world fell into chaos. The only person who could still die was the one man who previously couldn't: Captain Jack Harkness. Reviews were (rightly) mixed on this. Jack and Gwen returned, and scenes with them felt very true to the show's roots, but newcomers like Mekhi Phifer and Bill Paxton felt very out of place in what was very clearly a British scifi show transplanted to American soil.

     So where is Torchwood? Is it dead? Can it truly die? Russel T Davies swears he's not done with the show, but we haven't had any news in over a year, and that last news was basically “development limbo.” John Barrowman, meanwhile, has been a recurring baddie over on the CW's surprise hit Arrow. Burn Gorman's had roles in Dark Knight Rises, Pacific Rim, and Game of Thrones. Others in the cast have had.. varying amounts of work since. Would they come back? I think Barrowman and Eve Myles would. They genuinely seemed to enjoy the roles they played. But the real question is can Torchwood overcome the curse that afflicts it every time they try, in that the seasons start out strong, but fizzle, with a corresponding ratings drop? And in what form? It's spent as much time now in mini-series format as it has in episodic format, and the mini-series format has much more critical acclaim.

[AFHOTWTTGS] Agents of Chaos

I haven't forgotten about the system review. It's coming, I swear. I'm just a bit busy this week, and my freelance work eats away at the same set of mental resources that are involved in learning/running/reviewing an RPG. In the meantime, have some sketchy ideas for villains.

Scribbling up ideas for an adventure in a location which affords at least two historical moments to faff around with - maybe three if we count the original entombment of the Silurians - has me thinking about time-travelling meta-villains, the guiding hand between three separate adventures in the same location; one for each system, almost.

'Time travelling meta-villains', of course, gets me thinking about Faction Paradox. Who are Faction Paradox? I couldn't possibly comment on that, but if you want an immediate visual idea of what's going on with Faction Paradox, you could do worse than this:

Schemes layer upon schemes, strings tangle with strings. What is seen is seldom what is meant. There's an air of the macabre and theatrical about the whole business, and a distinct sense of the convoluted, and an investment in the history of a planet that will one day become their refuge.

Of particular interest, perhaps, is the idea of the eighteenth century; beginning with the end of the Restoration (a setting of history back on its proper track, perhaps) and the Enlightenment, and concluding with Revolutions (American, of course, and later French).

The French Revolution presents us with an archetype who easily slides into the Faction's conceptual armoury - I give you Madame Guillotine, ladies and gentlemen.

Image by Zoe Lacchei and used utterly without permission.

The flamboyant, elaborate costume needs but a demure little skull mask (opera-derived, anyone?) and she's ready to go; a charming murderess with the hint of a French accent. I'm not sure about the squirrel yet. It's probably a spy. Squirrels are beyond suspicion.

The other idea I've had knocking around for a Who antagonist, for the longest time, has been... well, again, you'll see.

The Plague Doctor; the mask is worn to prevent the ingestion of contaminated air, and the role is to intercede in outbreaks of the most fatal diseases. I see this one as a grand vizier figure; a power behind a throne, a necessary evil, a sort of Rasputin character. The presence of the Plague Doctor seems to grant unnaturally long life and great vitality, and his counsel verges on the omniscient.

Of course, neither of them fits remotely in the Middle Ages. Perhaps that's the point; wilful anachronism. Research continues, as does the process of statting this stuff up; it's useless unless it's rendered gameable, after all.

Two-Part Traveller Tuesday: Un-kinking the Kinunir

And here is Part 2.

This is not whining. This is complaining.

Before I begin, I'm going to pre-segue into a mild rant about energy weapons in Mongoose Traveller. You see, in the core book, we get this chart:

Okay, that's all good and fine. Then High Guard, Traders and Gunboats, and Fighting Ships come out, all with ships of various sizes, and many of them (typically warships) sporting triple turrets of particle beams.

Then errata for High Guard comes out, and one erratum in particular says:

Why yes, Mongoose, I'm immediately going to correct all of the ships in all of the books put out since you forgot to implement this rule in HG. (Not.)

So in my Traveller universe, I ignore this ruling. Not only is it easier for me, but I also have a good rationale for it.  You see, on exactly the same page in the core rules as the Turret Weapons table, we also have this:

Kindly note how the triple turret is Tech Level 9 whereas a Particle Beam, above, is TL 8. And THAT glaring inconsistency hasn't been errata'd either*, so I feel completely justified in saying that my TL 15 Imperium has figured a way to cram three particle accelerators into a turret, thank you very much.

I bring this up mainly so that when I show you my ship designs, you won't say "Did you forget that you can only have one PA per turret?"  My answer is that I didn't forget; I have instead quite plainly chosen to ignore it.

The Kinunir

With that out of way, I'm going to show you how I fixed the Mongoose version of the Colonial Cruiser.

I fixed it up because 1) I expected it would feature heavily in a recent adventure of mine -- alas, it did not -- and 2) the stats are not only full of errors (such as having quadruple upgrades where rules-as-written only allow for triple) but are also poorly designed.

Therefore, here is my version of the Colonial Cruiser, where I merged Mongoose rules with what I felt the Classic Traveller version intended.

I expect there will be some disagreement about these stats among purists, so here is my reasoning for the changes:

• Tech Level 15 seemed a bit odd, but the cruiser is a new design, and both Classic and Mongoose decree that it's TL 15. 
• Numbers of crew and marines aboard are taken from Classic Adventure 1. 
• This ship, by dint of having impressive weapons and a marine platoon (one squad of which is Orbital Assault), is pretty obviously designed for both space combat and light planetary invasion. Therefore I gave it both Reflec coating and Radiation Shielding, because why not add "free" armor?  It doesn't cost tonnage, just money, and when did the military ever give a fig about spending too much?
• Added a Nuclear Damper for similar reasons. 
• Also, I can't understand why ANY ship isn't self-sealing to help prevent explosive decompression. 
• Jump 4 for a ship that's basically designed to kill pirates and invade breakaway backwaters seems excessive. Reducing jump rating to 3 frees up quite a lot of space, and puts it in the same jump range as the Type T Patrol Cruiser, with which it normally operates as a flotilla.** 
• This allows me to up the Thrust to 5 Gs. We now have quite a respectable anti-piracy, anti-insurgency ship. 
• Weapon upgrades -- okay, these are probably overkill, and the ship would do fine with just regular weapons. But hey, Mongoose started it, and I figured I could do better. "Accurate" or "Variable Range" make more sense to me than "Resilient", as the ship should be actively trying NOT to get hit. Being able to engage at greater range or with greater accuracy increases ship survivability without sacrificing combat effectiveness. 
• I broke down the staterooms by rank mostly so that it made sense to me.  Note that there are no spare staterooms; I figure a ship like this is going to be pretty cramped and can't afford to have rooms standing empty.  If a notable passenger needs a room, they can double up with one of the officers. Non-notable passengers can just curl up on the barracks floor.
• Added things like a medbay, briefing room, repair shops etc because it just plain makes sense. 
• Emergency low berths added for those medical cases who can't be fixed by the ship's sawbones. 
• Orbital drop capsules added to comply with classic version. 
• Added an air/raft, because the Marine commander probably wants to travel on his own without depriving the armor squad of its G-Carrier. 
• I replaced the fairly useless Pinnace with the MUCH more useful and versatile Raptor OSV from Noah Ternullo's excellent Apparition Class Starship, Multirole Deep Intruder. (Stats not included because you really ought to buy his PDF!) It performs the same functions as the pinnace regarding shuttle duties, orbital insertion and boarding hostile vessels, but it's also armored and can provide fire support for marines. The only thing that's lost in this manner is cargo hauling capacity, and since the Kinunir itself is streamlined and can make landfall, I don't think this is an issue.
• Oh, hey, escape pods!  That's a good idea for a warship.  No, there aren't enough for everyone aboard, but between the pods, the Raptor, and the orbital assault capsules, I'm confident that everyone alive can make it off the ship.  

So, there you go. That's how I'd turn the Kinunir from a joke to a credible pocket warship. 

Art by the always-excellent Ian Stead. 

* Obviously, the answer is that at TL 8 the only way one can mount a particle beam on a ship is by using a barbette, but could they be arsed to mention that?  Nope.

** I thought I had read that somewhere but now I can't find the source. Still, it makes sense to me:  a flotilla of 3-5 400 dton Patrol Ships being headed by a Kinunir makes for a dandy pocket fleet.

Two-Part Traveller Tuesday: More on Missiles

Since I didn't write anything yesterday, I give you two entries today. Both are for Traveller, as it's what has been occupying my mind lately. Part 2 will show up later tonight.

So, back to missiles.  Last year I fixed the issue with thrust and time to target (link to handy spreadsheet here), and now I find myself thinking about their potential additive properties.

Allow me to explain.  In the core book of Mongoose Traveller, we are given three types of missiles for starships:

• Basic. TL 6, does 1d6 damage, costs 15,000 for 12. 
• Smart. TL 7, does 1d6 damage, costs 30,000 for 12. 
• Nuclear. TL 6, does 2d6 + crew hit damage, costs 45,000 for 12. 

My question is, quite simply, Why can't a nuclear missile also be smart?  We've already established that if you can built a smart missile you can build a nuke, and we can clearly see that the price difference for smart-izing a missile is 15,000.  So why not make Smart Nukes that are TL 7, do 2g6 damage, and cost 60,000 for 12?  It only makes sense. 

And that line of thinking naturally led me to consider all the other missiles from High Guard et al (again, found at the spreadsheet link) and wonder "What's keeping me from making a smart, long-range, multi-warhead nuke?"

The answer, naturally, is "Not much."  So here are some quick and dirty rules for getting the most out of missiles in Traveller, assuming you don't mind spending gobs of money on one-use items. 

1)  We start with the assumption that all missiles are Basic (Tl 7, 1d6 damage, 15,000) and build from there. 

2)  We add whatever improvements we want. All additions and subtractions are cumulative. 

• Making a missile Smart costs 15,000 and doesn't affect payload, range, or endurance. Requires TL 8 and may only be shot from a TL 8+ launcher. 
• Making a missile Nuclear costs 30,000, adds 1d6 + crew hit to damage. Endurance and thrust unaffected.
• Making a missile Long Range costs 10,000, subtracts 1 from all damage rolled, and missile now uses thrust and endurance of baseline long range missiles. 
• Making a missile Multi-warhead costs 25,000, adds "x 1d6" to all damage to represent multiple warhead strikes. It uses thrust and endurance of baseline multi-warhead missiles (unless this is improved with the Long Range addition). 
• Making a missile Decoy costs 20,000, subtracts 1 from damage, and uses thrust and endurance per baseline decoy missiles. Requires TL 9. 

So if I really wanted to, and had enough money (like the military), I could indeed have a TL 8 Long Range, Multi-Warhead, Smart Decoy Nuke that moves at thrust 5 for 7 turns, has a -2 to be shot down by point defense, and does (2d6-2 + crew hit) x 1d6 damage, and costs a whopping 115,000 per group of 12. 

3) Now let's look at some of the specialty missiles and how they could be upgraded. 

• Fragmentation missiles may utilize all upgrades, although some of them (such as decoy and nuclear) may be of questionable benefit, while others are pure overkill.
• Jumpbreaker missiles may be made smart, long range, and decoy, but do not benefit from further upgrades as this missile isn't intended to cause damage in the first place. 
• Shockwave missiles, because they attack sand clouds, only benefit from being smart, long range, and decoy. 

With me so far?  Okay, now it's time to get mean. Look at the rules for Advanced Technology in High Guard and notice how weapons systems can have benefits like "accurate" or "high yield". 

On the one hand, it seems patently silly that by upgrading the missile launcher one is able to make the missiles go further or do more damage, especially when we already have long range missiles that can be loaded into any launcher of any tech level. (I'm okay with "accurate" as I assume that the launcher is painting the target with a laser or otherwise using advanced avionics to steer the missile to the target.)

However... there's nothing to stop one from upgrading the missiles directly, is there? Well, other than money, of course. 

• Both missiles and their launchers may be upgraded to Accurate. I imagine the to-hit modifiers would be cumulative. 
• Easy to Repair  is just silly and should not be allowed. 
• Both High Yield and Very High Yield* are possible. Yes, you can have VHY nukes. Be afraid.
• Long Range  and Variable Range both make no sense as I don't see how a launcher could make a missile go further. Besides, we already have a missile add-on for just that thing. 
• Resilient seems silly until you realize that it creates a missile that must be hit twice before point defense kills it. Combine this with my evil idea from last week and you've got one hell of a party. (Special thanks to one my players for thinking this up.)

I believe that these rules nicely highlight the difference between civilian-grade (what the market can bear) and military-grade (goverments can throw tons of money at something and not blink) weapons systems.

Want a Resilient, High Yield, Long Range, Multi-Warhead, Smart Decoy Nuke?  Sure thing, just fork over 230,000 per dozen. Be sure to listen for that cash register "ka-ching" sound every time you shoot one!

* I can't think of a reason why Sandcaster barrels can't be made High Yield or VHY either. Make the launcher Accurate and you have a very potent, if very expensive, anti-laser system. 

SHTFriday: Potassium Permanganate

I finish up Blue Collar Prepping's first ever theme week (water purification) with a discussion about one of the many uses of Potassium Permanganate.  Seriously guys, this is like the Swiss Army Knife of chemicals.

Actually, just read the entire week, especially if you live in Ohio or Michigan. Or Utah, for that matter.

Salem Watches A Movie: Guardians of the AAAHH IIIIEEE AHHH HOOKED ON A FEELING

I'm high on believing. That I'm in love with this film.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way...

     So the last few times I've watched a movie for Erin's blog, it hasn't turned out well. I was rendered nearly unintelligible by World War Z, and simply confused by Age of Extinction. I'm happy to report that, this time around, I can not only recommend, but heartily urge anyone who hasn't seen Guardians of the Galaxy to go see it. I'll try to avoid spoilers. I've only lightly skimmed the comics myself, so I'm not overly familiar with the characters. I know who they are, but I don't know how accurately they are portrayed. I can say, however, that they stand on their own without prior knowledge of the team. I described this film as Han Solo guest-starring in the greatest episode of Farscape ever, and I stand by that description.

     The tone of this film is set from the very first moments where the main protagonist, Chris Pratt's “Star Lord” (aka Peter Quill) clomps menacingly onto the screen only to press play on an ancient Walkman, pop his mask, and proceed to lipsync and, in glorious fashion, shuck and jive his way through the ruins of an ancient city to the tune of Redbone's “Come And Get Your Love,” punctuated by moments of catching alien rats and using them as cod-microphones. This movie steadfastly refuses to take itself too seriously, and it benefits greatly from it. It's not technically a comedy, and it's not technically a space opera, but it's got enough of both to succeed as either simultaneously.

     On paper, this really shouldn't have worked, either. I mean, yes, it's a Marvel film. It had budget behind it and momentum from Marvel's previous films, but on paper? It's a smaller, niche group of characters with less exposure. Iron Man? Lot of people know him. Captain America? His death in the comics hit mainstream news. Guardians of the Galaxy? Totally niche, and to the rest of the public evokes such cinematic disasters as "Masters of the Universe" or "Prisoners of the Lost Universe." It's directed by a guy that used to make films for Troma Films. TROMA. Toxic Avengers. The team has a wrestler, two CGI characters, and a TV comedy actor. Zoe Saldana is the only one with major mainstream success in the main cast. But it all falls together. It all works.

     This is a team of distinct protagonists with great chemistry between each character. Dave Bautista's performance was probably the weakest, and he was still a great character. Vin Diesel managed to take a CGI character with one (repeated) line and give it so much depth that it made cry a little at one point. Chris Pratt was the perfect balance of absurdity and competency. Zoe Saldana's Gamora was menacing, dangerous, and a little bit vulnerable. And Bradley Cooper's (cast for his voice, known for his face) Rocket stole every scene he was in. Even the bit players, like the Nova Corp or Space-Merle (Michael Rooker's portrayal of Yondu) were memorable.

     The villains were a little on the weak side. Thanos, the big bad teased at the end of Avengers, was very sinister and threatening, but Ronan and Nebula could have been handled better. By the end of the film, I'm still not sure (besides possible religious zealot) what Ronan's motivations are. Nebula was excellent (angry shouty stabby Scottish cyborg) and came across as a very competent baddie, but I just kept wanting to see more of her than Ronan, especially the scenes where she and Gamora interact. There's chemistry between these two that I can only hope we'll see in later installments. The menace was there from the baddies in the film, but they could have had more impact.

     Early on in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, I kept thinking things like “How can they make an Iron Man movie?” “How can they make a Thor movie?” “These characters aren't big enough to headline their own films.” But this one? This could be Marvel's Star Wars. Guardians of the Galaxy and its success (92% fresh rating on RT, $94 million opening weekend) has proven, at least in my mind, that Marvel can make films out of any of its properties.

    Or even resurrect a previously shamed one. Stay after the credits, folks.