National Pellatarrum Writing Month

I have been chided (and rightfully so) for having neglected the RPG element of this blog.

Fortunately for you, November is NaPelWriMo, or as I like to call it, "Oh crap I have a campaign setting, I should really get on that."

So expect more articles on your favorite Gonzo Sorcery Campaign Setting!  And if you have an idea for a guest article about Pellatarrum... submit it!

Today I was racist

Today, I proved that I am mean nasty not-nice racist white person by voting for Romney.

Well, okay, technically I proved that last week, since I did early voting.

And I didn't so much vote for Romney as I voted against the administration that allows Eric  "Fast and Furious" Holder to stay in office and doesn't seem to believe in the War Powers act.

And in actuality, if you're going to call me a racist for voting against a black candidate, then I can call you racist for voting for a black candidate. Or I can call you a racist for voting against a white candidate.

Can't we all just agree that

1. Accusations of Racism are the Godwin's Law of politics, and
2. We have much better reasons for hating each other's guts? Skin color is so superficial. Let's hate each other for deep and meaningful differences in philosophy. 

Play me out, Blue October!

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you

Monday Gunday: On a related topic...

Since my previous attempt to fill out my stripped AR lower failed, is there anyone out there who would be willing to give me a similar (albeit non-flaky) deal?

Cut me a discount for a lower parts kit, stock, buffer tube etc, and in exchange I will tell everyone on my blog how awesome you are.

(Yes, I know it's begging and pandering, but turning pretty words into gold is about the only profitable skill I have, so I'm going to make use of it any chance I get.)

Don't do business with Simple Survival

LET IT BE KNOWN THAT THE PUBLIC BEATING 

HAS NOT GONE OUT OF STYLE.

I do not relish having to write this post, but I feel it is necessary to warn people NOT to do business with Simple Survival (simplesurvival.info, not to be confused with simplesurvival.net, which sells camping gear and nor AR-15 accessories), their front man Nicholas O'Bryan, or their employer, The Tarra Designs Group.

I was first introduced to Nick by none other than Oleg Volk (who no doubt regrets this, for reasons of his own that I hope he will list in the comments) back when I was trying to get a carry pistol. Nick said that he had an online store that supplied weapons, ammunition and firearm accessories to local police, and that if I were to buy my Glock from him, he would give me a good price for it if I mentioned his store in my blog. 

I said that sounded like a great idea, but I hadn't yet decided upon which kind of pistol to get. 

No problem, he replied, I have some blue guns here that I can send you so you can decide which of them fit your hand and your carry method. 

Great, I said, and sent him my mailing address. That was March 1, 2012, and I never heard back from him for months after that. This should have been my first indication that he was a flake. 

Fast forward to the summer. Nick had surfaced on July 2, chatting me as if everything was normal, trying to sell me things like ammo for my Glock or Mosin. I turned him down because I was able to get them in bulk for less. This "courtship," if you will, lasted the better part of two months, and towards the end of August I had bought my stripped AR lower and, flush with some writing money, was looking to buy a Lower Parts Kit. 

Again, he quoted me a very low price -- $126 for an LPK, 6-position stock, buffer tube & spring, 2 magazines, and a set of pin punches.  Again, I should have known better due to the combination of his previous flakiness and the price being too good to be true, but I decided to risk it on the off-chance that maybe he just had some bad luck during the spring. 

He wanted a check or a money order or a credit card over the phone. I didn't like that idea, due to my insecurity and desire for OPSEC.  When he later told me he had a PayPal account, I was thrilled and used that (and oh, am I glad that I did.)

On September 7, I sent him $126.00 via PayPal with the understanding that he had ordered the buffer spring and was waiting for it to arrive. The following is what happened, told in screenshots so you don't think I'm exaggerating:

Please note how, once he has my money, he is nothing but excuses: 

• "Waiting for the spring to come in."
• "They sent the wrong spring."
• "Will be running to Fed Ex tomorrow."
• "I was going to go, but had a headache, will definitely go this weekend."

Also note how I ask for a tracking number and never get it:

So that was September. By October I am starting to get bitchy, because he's had my hard-earned money for almost a month and all I have gotten is excuses. 

Note how he promises me "extra stuff" in the hope of keeping me quiet. At any rate, I have been given the semi-hard date of "Wed or Thur" for the arrival. Does my purchase arrive?

Nope. Still no tracking #, either.

This is me finally getting nasty. It is the Tuesday after I was promised the materials would arrive. I finally tell him to refund my money or provide proof that they're in the mail.

And this picture is proof that he saw my demand. 

Care to guess what happened?

Not a damn thing, that's what happened. So the next day, I filed a dispute with PayPal. The way disputes work is that I open a complaint where I say "I paid money and haven't gotten my stuff back" and PayPal sends an email to the seller asking them, "Hey, do you want to tell us your side of the story?"  I was encouraged to wait a set number of days to give Nick a chance to reply. 

Did he?  Nope. So on Monday, October 15, I escalated it to a claim, which involves PayPal doing some research and basically acting as a mediator for the dispute. 

Again, Nick never replied to this (even though his Facebook page is full of activity, so I know he hasn't been in a coma or anything like that.) 

On the 25th, PayPal ruled in my favor and refunded 100% of my money. This ruling is why I am in a generally good mood and not throwing down tons of invective -- which is what I might have had to do if I had gone with a personal check or a money order or credit card. 

Believe me, I was ready to contact the Post Office and the FBI for interstate mail fraud. I'm happy that I didn't need to, because any time you have to involve the government in your business it is never good for anyone. 

I honestly don't know if Nick is a fraud, or just lazy. You would think that even fraudsters would attempt some kind of explanation as to why they should be allowed to keep your money. I'm inclined to go with "Lazy, incompetent, and has no business running a business."

Yes, it's embarrassing for me to admit that I screwed up. But that's the way fraudsters continue to make their living: they rely on the shame of their victims to keep them quiet. 

And if there's one thing I lack, it's shame. 

So, in short:  Do not do business with Nicholas O'Bryan, his online store Simple Survival, or anyone associated with the Tarra Designs Group. They will take your money, promise you that your purchases are in the mail, and then promise you anything in order to shut you up. 

If anyone has had similar experiences, either with Nick O'Bryan/Simple Survival or another company, please leave a comment. Thank you.


EDIT:  As of 3:48 today, I got a message from Nick:  "gee thanks..."

No apology, no explanation, just trying to guilt trip me. Won't work, buddy.


Edit 2:  Oleg Volk describes a similar problem he had with Nick O'Bryan in the comments below.

Breaking news!

I have just now decided that what the world needs most is a PSY - Lady Gaga collaboration.  The video would be EPIC.

That is all.

I like my version better

Every so often I experience what I call "total vocabulary failure."  When this happens my brain is completely unable to access a word, even though I have a clear mental image of the object in question. When this happens I have two choices:

• Ask for "the thing. You know, that... thing... over there...  by the other thing. No, the YELLOW thing!" As you can imagine, this requires lots of gesturing. 
• Do a word-salad free association where my brain frantically grasps at words that might be related in some capacity. In some cases this results in compound words that are nearly German in construction, such as "hot water dish clean appliance."

Earlier this evening I was unable to think of the word "television", so my brain scrambled in panic and pulled out "Big loud distract-o-box."

Kinda catchy.

An Unexpected Briefing

Found this gem and had to share it. I applaud putting fun and humor into the usual staid and boring safety briefing.

After 10 years of being associated with Lord of the Rings, I think New Zealand should just change its name to Middle Earth and be done with it.