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Thursday, February 12, 2009

That's my bag, baby

Today seems to be a good day for follow-ups to previous posts. In my search for the perfect Rob Liefeld Bag, many readers pointed me towards ThinkGeek, and while I didn't find my perfect RLB there, along the way I happened upon this sexy little number:

Is that not the coolest thing you have ever seen? I showed this to new bestie Jean Bauhaus, whose response was: "That is freakin' awesome. I want one."

There you have it, guys: Not only does it look badass while you wear it like a holster, you will also make women envious when you wear it. Done right, you might be able to get dates with this thing.

Wear a suit all day? Use the Shoulder Holster version instead. Not only will you feel like James Bond, but it will keep all your crap from ruining the smooth lines of your trousers.

But on to the main point of my post. I believe that I have found my perfect Rob Liefeld Bag:

This beast is a 3131 MOLLE Tactical Computer Briefcase. Quoting shamelessly from the ad copy:

Polyester. PVC coated lining. Large expandable main compartment. Assorted gear pockets and MOLLE loops. Interior identification pocket. 3 detachable MOLLE pouches on front of bag. Padded laptop computer sleeve with hook & loop closure. Zippered map / document pocket with MOLLE loops on back side of case. Adjustable and fully removable padded shoulder straps. Black colored bag. Dimensions: 20.5" x 7.75" x 15" (inches). Approximate weight: 4.00 pounds. Price: $55.00

Now, what is awesome about this animal is the phrase "MOLLE loops on back side of case." This means that I can buy additional pouches -- like this bad boy here -- and then put them on the other side of the case. I suspect I might be able to fit a pouch on either end, as well. Plus there are those slot thingies on the top of the flap. When I am done, it will look like someone bukkakke'd pouches all over my bag. Because I am a pouchwhore.

As a friend said, "Personally, I envision you adding more and more pouches to this until you are your very own bunker, the weight pulling you over, shuffling along under a roughly hemispheric mound of pouches..."

Which of course is just silly. I'd mount wheels to it and roll smoothly along instead of shuffling.

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