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Friday, August 6, 2010

Not Tonight, Dear

The worst part about having having headaches brought about by weather changes (during hurricane season, no less, so that's double the fun right there) isn't the constant pain that flutters in intensity between "nagging" and "painful but not yet crippling".

No, the worst part is realizing that the pain is making me dumb. I flat-out cannot think worth a damn when I have one of these headaches, and the most frustrating thing about it is that I know my thinking is impaired. It's a bit like being drugged or drunk, except not by choice, and without all the fun side-effects.

I would actually rather have a far worse headache, because when that happens I have no interest in thinking at all. Instead, I take as much painkiller as my body can take without OD'ing and then I lie down in a cool dark room. Because my body doesn't want to stay in pain, it generally falls asleep within 10 minutes and then I am blissfully unconscious (the best kind of anesthesia possible.)

But in cases like this, I don't hurt enough to be able to surrender to sleep, and constantly taking pain meds does little to nothing for me. (I must have built up a hell of a tolerance by now.) It's like someone is constantly poking me in the side of the head. It hurts just enough to keep me distracted, and over the course of hours it wears me out through simple attrition. If you can't comprehend how much this sucks, hang out with a toddler who enjoys screaming the same word over and over again for hours at a time. You will feel my pain sooner than you think, although you at least will have the option of putting the brat down for a nap or leaving the house. I'm stuck with having my head on my shoulders at all times.

Time to break out the big guns: liquor. I figure if I can't kill the pain, I might as well get buzzed enough that I won't care about it (and don't worry, I know what my tolerances are, I won't drink so much I get sick from mixing booze & painkillers).

Goodnight & I'll see you on the flip side.

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