Thursday, February 14, 2013
This Is Horrifyingly True
After my mom's surgery she was told she would need a stool softener because the medications she was on would make it difficult for her to poop. When I went grocery shopping with my father, he insisted on calling it a stool sampler. I didn't correct him, because a) it was hilarious and b) I didn't want to deal with the inevitable fight that occurs whenever I point out he's wrong.
For V- Day today, I was given a Whitman's Sampler of chocolates. Now I can't eat them.
You figure out why.
And now, my Valentine to each and every one of you. It's got something for everyone, I think.
You, ah, might not want to open it at work. Or around children. Or other people.
Happy Valentine's Day!
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OMG, that's freakin' awesome! I'm sending your dad Good Karma for inadvertently programming your brain. My pop had "bowel troubles" and he delighted in explaining them to me until I lost almost 10 lbs from nausea. Let them warm slightly and then trust your sense of smell, if that suggestion doesn't trigger a heave-fest. :)
ReplyDeleteYa know . . . . if us fathers can't send our daughters off the deep end . . . . well . . . . then we're just not doin' our job!! :) I do my best to tweak my wonderful daughter every chance I get . . . . it's what us daddies do!!!
ReplyDeleteAs for the photo - think my head just exploded just a bit . . . .
Have a great Valentines Day Ms. E.
*facepalm*
ReplyDeletePlease don't get me anything for Halloween.
:D
I think that was one of Stacie Laughton's campaign photos from [insert your choice of dubious gender pronouns]'s NH state house election. Both of them. After she/he decided to run for re-election to replaced [--]self after it was discovered he/she was ineligible to run or hold office due to still being on parole for the felony fraud convictions. (Google it; as Dave Barry would say, "I am not making this up.")
ReplyDeleteI hope you won't be offended if I say I'm sorta glad you're not my Valentine, cuz....GAWD!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHaha! Love it!
ReplyDeleteLOL. I get that a lot...
ReplyDeleteYou figure out why.
ReplyDeleteUm...Lent?
Whitman's Sampler.
ReplyDeleteStool "Sampler".
Chocolate and poop have approximately the same color...
um, eww.
ReplyDeleteNow you understand why I couldn't eat them.
ReplyDelete"For V- Day today, I was given a Whitman's Sampler of chocolates. Now I can't eat them.
ReplyDeleteYou figure out why."
Because ... your dad's ... a subtle monster?