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Wednesday, December 3, 2014

The Universal Choad Theory

It occurs to me that I've never explained my Universal Choad Theory. It is quite simple:
At any public gathering of geeks engaged in a competitive group endeavor (this theory was tested whilst playing Magic: the Gathering back in 2002 or so, but any CCG or wargame will do. I suspect this theory would apply to cosplay, but I have yet to see it in action), if you loudly ask the assemblage "So, which one here is The Choad?", a majority of participants will immediately point to one person.
That person is usually the youngest, but not always. Regardless, he is almost always the one who bought the best deck/army to make up for his really shitty tactics. They match his shitty interpersonal skills -- he spits when he gets excited, interrupts constantly, doesn't respect your personal space, is constantly touching your stuff without asking (usually with greasy fingers), doesn't bathe as often as he should, etc. 

Yes, even geeks have pariahs. Every group has its own social dynamic, and even non-standard groups have members that don't fit in with the rest. The Choad isn't seen often in private gatherings, due the majority of people going "Jeez, not THAT guy, if he shows up I'm not playing". But in places like tournaments or open game nights, there's going to be at least one.

It's a tremendous accomplishment to un-choad a choad, but that requires a lot of time, a lot of effort, and a lot of patience. It's possible when they're young, but past a certain age, it's not happening. They're set in their ways. 

You think I'm being exclusionary? Gunnies, I have two words for you:  Leonard Embody

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