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Thursday, March 9, 2017

He Will Not Divide Us REEEE He Will Not Divide Us REEEE He Will Not Divide Us REEEE

Two great disappointments happened to me recently.

Disappointment the first: Shia LeBouf's planned four-year "art" installation #HeWillNotDivideUs relocated to Albuquerque after the Museum of the Moving Image kicked him out when he was arrested for assaulting fellow protesters. Disappointment the second: he was gone from Albuquerque inside of a week and I missed it entirely.

I had a week's vacation earlier in February, as you may have noticed from my absence, and I had meant to go see the installation, if only to have a laugh at his expense. I'm all for public protest, as long as it's peaceful protest (see my recent rants on Antifa), and if Shia wants to spend the next four years cosplaying as a homeless person in downtown Albuquerque then by god I want to witness it in person when our own union of homeless people find him.

Trolls flooded his original installation at the museum in NYC, as expected. For a city with over eight million people, you've got to have at least a few tens of thousands of trolls, and even Twitch streamer Brittany Venti got in on the act. But the breaking blow came when Shia mistook one of his supporters for a troll and assaulted him, resulting in his arrest.

Seriously normies, get off Brittany's stream.
Please keep in mind that I cannot stand Shia LeBouf. His role in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull put a damper on a movie that was already completely unnecessary, and my love of the sentient robots of the Transformers franchise was insulted with Michael Bay's movies. Moreso even than the humping dogs, annoying parents, robots peeing on people, and racial stereotypes was Shia LeBouf, with his smug stupid face overacting his pants off shrieking incoherently and bashing things at every opportunity. My distaste of him was so much so that I considered the last Transformers movie, Age of Extinction, to be the best of a bad franchise (which runs contrary to popular opinion) if only because the main human protagonist was replaced by a bland Mark Wahlberg. Aside from these I have never seen Shia in anything else, save an extremely strange and slight discomforting music video where he rather aggressively dances in a cage with a prepubescent girl.

So yeah, when the trolls came for him, I was not disappointed. Please see reference material below, and a fair warning of people acting the fool.
So Shia upped roots and moved to Albuquerque, the biggest city in a rather sparse Blue state, where he thought he'd be safe and welcome. I'd made plans to visit the installation on a Wednesday during my vacation, but it turns out that there'd been gunshots in the vicinity (just off of 7th and Central, off of old Route 66) just days prior. The local news reported on it, and their statement was that he left after gunshots were reported in the area.

Welcome to the ABQ, Shia; didn't you see Breaking Bad? Gunshots are kinda the norm here. If you can't take a little small arms fire, you won't last long in Albuquerque. Honestly, I'm surprised we're not more progressive. Our cops shoot everyone, not just the brown people.

Shia's Homeless Person Cosplay
So I'm genuinely disappointed. I wanted to see the #HeWillNotDivideUs installation in person. I wanted to laugh at homeless-cosplaying Shia. But I missed my chance by mere days. And I think that makes me dislike Shia even more: more than being the stain on two beloved franchises and an all-around annoying human being, his cowardice at a normal occurrence in flyover country deprived me of a good laugh. I can only imagine that, somewhere right now, Shia is walking down a lonely highway with the closing theme of the old Hulk TV show playing into the wireless earbuds of his latest model of iPhone, having utterly failed to connect to the common person.

Update: /pol/ has found it. Shia moved the livestream to an undisclosed location and, using the position of the stars and the flight paths of three planes, /pol/ has discovered that what remains of #HeWillNotDivideUs is a white flag with the slogan on it and a camera pointed at it, somewhere southeast of Greeneville, TN. This was discovered in less than 24 hours, and the results posted less than 4 hours ago. The proof is in the pudding. I have to wonder if the white flag is symbolic of anything. 

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