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Thursday, January 25, 2018

I Am Witty

One of things people need to know about me is that I am fucking hilarious and that I should be applauded for my quick wit on a regular basis.

Example: I am a player in a Pathfinder game Wednesday nights, and my character is an elf rogue whose personality can best be described as "Quiet like Fluttershy, except replace her love of animals with a near sociopathic dislike of other people and a tendency to classify them into People I like; Things that need stabbing; and Things that I'm not sure need stabbing but probably do. "


So last night, my sociopath was trying to get the location of the Thieves' Guild from the local priestess of Calistria (goddess of lust, revenge, and trickery -- in other words, Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction) and said priestess was not being forthcoming about it, probably because my character has all the warmth and empathy of a surgical tool.

Her charismatic half-sister, who is both the Face of the party and who is also a cleric of Calistria, rolls diplomacy on my behalf to help her socially awkward sibling. She gets a result of THIRTY.

Out of character, I quip "Hook a praya up?"

Cue sound of other players spitting beverages through various orifices and onto screens and keyboards. 

I reiterate: I am fucking hilarious.  That is all.

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