I'm not dead (yet)

Ack, sorry about that. Between Christmas preparations, my siblings coming to visit, and generally trying to enjoy the holiday instead of simply survive it, I had to let a few things drop by the wayside. This blog was one of them.

Not that I'm apologizing for taking the time off; no, that was a good and necessary thing. But I really should have said something about before a week went past.

So, to that end: I hope everyone had /is having /will have a happy seasonal festivity of their choice. Mine was good, and Lurking Rhythmically will return in January (hopefully with new content).

Have a wonderfully Khaotic New Year!

WNW: Submitted Without Comment, Part 2

I apologize for missing the last few days... things have been so hectic and tense for me (despite my best Khaotica efforts) that a chipped nail will result in a killing spree.

And on that note, I give you this movie.



I know I have a few Finnish readers... can anyone tell me what the hunters are saying?


Expect a new Khaotica post either tonight or tomorrow.

Executive Summary Movie Reviews

Blargh.

I've been meaning to do these reviews since last weekend, but... well, middles of the month are hard for me. I'm tired all the time, cranky, frequently depressed... sucks all around.

But I owe you guys a blog entry. Therefore, you get my patented Executive Summaries for two movies. Yarr, here there be spoilers and suchlike.

The Mist: A tersely-plotted story of survival horror which ends with a gigantic "Fuck you!" to both the main character and the entire audience. If you are depressive, do not see this movie. The ending acted as a trigger for me. I didn't want to drive home feeling like shit, so I went into another theater and saw...

The Golden Compass: I wanted to like this movie, but it is pure marzipan: all surface and no substance. It's exceptionally pretty, and the fight scenes are excellent, but not even the presence of Sam Elliott as a balloonist cowboy and Sir Ian McKellen as a talking, armor-clad polar bear can save this movie. It's not bad; it's just "meh". It's also obvious that the book it was based upon was gutted by Hollywood to make it more accessible to the general public.

Executive Summary: Don't bother seeing either of these.

WNW: Submitted without comment

(Special thanks to Allura-Mike for pointing this out to me)

Second Monday of Khaotica: Khaotica Presence

Having done the decorations, you should now be sufficiently warmed up for performing greater acts of Khaotic giddyness. The first step was your house... your friends are next!

Khaotica Presence

Rush, rush, rush. All around you, people are rushing about, making themselves crazy, or sick, or crazy sick trying to find the perfect gifts AND get all the cooking done AND make time for family AND AND AND!!! This is when the groundwork is laid for those really nasty Christmas Eve/Day fights that make land wars in Asia look like an ice cream social.

What people need most during this time of year is a good strong dose of Chill The Fuck Out. Unfortunately, they're so wrapped up in their agendas that they've lost all perspective on their mental health. That's where we come in, by giving Khaotica Presence.

No, that's not a misspelling: this isn't a tangible gift, but rather, a gift of "face time", a time-out, a moment of respite that returns a modicum of presence of mind to the recipient. Your assignment is to find a friend, family member or co-worker that is stressing out over the holiday season and give them a much-needed moment of clarity. Some suggestions:

• "Kidnap" a friend on your lunch hour, preferably if said friend intends to spend that time shopping. Whisk them away to someplace peaceful -- a hole-in-the-wall bistro; a tranquil park with soothing white noise; perhaps even go on a picnic, weather permitting -- and simply be there for them. Let them vent, scream, quietly fall to pieces, whatever they need. Allow them to be "off" for a while, if that's what they need. Give them your undivided attention and really listen to what they need to say.
  
• If you're very brave, offer to babysit.
  
• If you can't give a gift of your time, gift a gift of "me time". For a woman, schedule some pampering: a manicure, a facial, a soothing hot bath with scented oils. For a man -- assuming it wouldn't be taken out of context (or make things far too weird), pornography is always good: a dirty video or magazine, or a trip to a strip club, will probably raise his spirits (among other things!)

Got it? Good! Now go give away some Khaotica Presence!

Behold, the Yule-Jim!

Over at his blog, Salem gets into the spirit of Khaotica and completely sticks the landing.

This is exactly what I was looking for. It's simple, it's beautiful, it's surprisingly heartwarming.

Now go snap into a Slim-Jim, which I declare to be the official processed meat snack of Khaotica.

Kwestions about Khaotica

Why is it spelled "Khaotica"?

Because spelling it "Roderick Buttocktrundle" would be problematic.

All right, there are a few reasons why.

• This time of year is chock full of K's: Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Kris Kringle, Julebukking.
  
• Eris has a longstanding association with the letter K, specifically Kallisti and Kopyleft (K).
• It looks better than "Chaotica" and calling it "Khaotika" would be pretentious.
  

Doesn't the name suggest vandalism and/or anarchy from the participants?

I dunno. Do games like Grand Theft Auto suggest that the players should steal cars and kill people? Seriously, if people are inclined to do that kind of thing, they'll do it regardless of what I say or do. I am not a role model, and I am not your conscience.

However, if you vandalize Christmas decorations or churches, or otherwise act like an asshole, you deserve everything you get when people flip out and beat the fa-la-la out of you.

I'm just saying.


What are YOU going to do for Khaotica's Firstweek Festivities?

I'm not sure just yet.

What I had originally planned was to buy a manger, put it in my front yard, and decorate it with lights and outdoor ornaments and maybe some fake boxy presents around it. While I don't expect people to grasp the scathing commentary on the commercialization of the season and the lost intent behind the original exchanging of gifts, I figured I could get at least a few people to go, "A manger with lights on it? WTF?"

But according to Grem, who lives in Louisiana, he sees these kind of things all the time. So either Louisiana is far more Discordian than I expected, or this idea has been thought of before and is, therefore, lame.

So now I don't know what I'll do.