Let that roll around in your noodle for a bit: the chosen messenger for Eris, the Goddess of Chaos, is a cockroach. Consider all the biological, metaphysical, and quantum ramifications of this.All done? Good! Well, thank you for coming, I'll see you all next week, and don't forget the potluck on Tuesday...
Beg pardon?
You have no idea what I'm talking about?
Oh. Well then, let me enlighten you.
1. The fact that Eris chose a cockroach as her chief messenger speaks to the enduring nature of the Gospel of Discord, for a cockroach can survive such environmental extremes that it will be one of the few species to thrive in the event of global catastrophe, up to and including nuclear war. As long as the messenger survives, so does the message.
2. Messages are quantum in nature, specifically, Heisenbergian in nature. To whit: just as the act of observing a quantum state changes it, so does the receipt of a message change the recipient. Change. Transformation. Metamorphosis. What was Kafka's The Metamorphosis about? A man who is turned into a cockroach. Receipt of Eris' message changes you into one of her messages.
3. Want to know something weird? I meant to type "one of her messengers" but "messages" came out instead. I'm keeping it that way. Hail Eris.
4. A roach is the unburnt end of a joint of marijuana that remains after smoking it. A cockroach can survive for days without its head. A head shop is a place where you can buy roach clips. I don't know where I'm going with this but it's all very deep.
5. Is a cockroach without a head alive? It possesses qualities of both the living (moving around) and the dead (it doesn't have a goddamn head). Thus it is both alive and dead, and therefore (according to Schrödinger) it exists in a superposition of eigenstates. If an undead cockroach that may or may not also be a cat inside a box isn't a perfect messenger for Discordianism, I don't know what is.
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