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Thursday, August 2, 2007

Okay, I call bullshit

Let me see if I've got this straight, Stan Lee.

Of the three heroes you put up for elimination today, two of them were on the chopping block last week as well, and one of those is up there for the same reason as he was up there last time. And instead of kicking one of these repeat offenders, you boot Mindset?

Fuck you, man. I call bullshit.

1. Idiot Blonde Girl can't even elucidate what her power is, which should have gotten her kicked out immediately. How many auditions did she have to go through to get to this stage? Isn't she supposed to have a carefully crafted persona that she must live 24/7, and which will be tested throughout the course of the show? Add to that the fact that last week, she saw someone in distress and chose to do nothing. And then there's the falling apart in tears when Mindset basically calls her on her "ditz" act... ah, she's fucking useless. Each episode she remains a contestant is an insult to everyone else who failed to make the auditions.

About the only good thing I can say about her is that when her faults are pointed out and she is challenged to grow -- either by Stan, or by another teammate -- she does manage to improve. This, I suspect, is the reason she hasn't yet been cut.

2. Then there's Token, the Hebrew Wonder, who has consistently proven that he is not a team player, does not like the other contestants, is in this thing just to win, etc. Worst of all, he has a magical Star of David ping-pong paddle.

A magical,
Magen David,
Ping fucking pong fucking paddle.

Why couldn't it have been a shuriken? A "Throwing Star of David" would've been fucking awesome. There are plenty of Bible stories about amazing heroes of Jewish legend, and both stealth and cunning in battle have been highly prized qualities among the Israelites. A Jewish ninja would've been incredibly cool.

Oh well. If you want to see a good example of a Super-Jew, Seraph will not disappoint.

3. Finally, there is Mindset, whose only real flaw this episode seems to be zero tolerance for bullshit. I admit, there were better ways for him to have made his point to Limelight, but I think she totally overreacted and took insult when none was really intended. (But she's 19, so what do you expect? At that age, everything's so dramaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatic.)

And you know what? I completely agree with his reasoning in the "Spelling Bee". If a villain can make you concede anything, no matter how minor, then all that proves is that you are susceptible to coercion and can be made to do it again. This is why our government has a strict policy of "Never negotiate with terrorists."

Oh hell, just go watch his exit interview, he makes his points better than I could.

I am appalled that, of these three, Stan keeps the two asinine repeat offenders and dismisses one of the few people there with a great concept, the wherewithal to stay in-character through multiple challenges, and a well-considered, well-articulated, and well-argued position: "A hero doesn't lie just to get out of a challenge. The truth is more important than discomfort."

What I think irks me the most, however, are Stan's parting words. I don't have the transcript in front of me, but he said something to the effect of "A true hero thinks of his team before himself."

*cough Spider-Man cough The Hulk cough Daredevil cough Silver Surfer*

Pardon me. I seem to have a contradiction caught in my throat. You created those rugged individualists, didn't you, Stan? Those misfit loners?

I call bullshit.


  1. Stan Lee hasn't been relevant since the invention of the pill. And the Sci-Fi channel hasn't been relevant since they stopped airing late-night Twilight Zones and daytime reruns of the original Galactica and Quantum Leap. Where my Ghost Hunters at?

    Put the two together, and you get a bullshit contest that features Stan Lee shitting all over the TV. We all know that Blonde Bitch is only there because of two things, and they are both fake. Mindset was there for more than the win, and he was punished for it.


  2. The whole 'you need to work as a team' thing runs counter to the object of the show.

    It was a shame that Mindset got let go so early, and I appreciate his firm stance in support of heroic ideals, but you'd think that a superevolved mind from the future would have some better thoughts on the mutability of acceptable spelling over time. I'd be more impressed if he played that card in a higher-stakes environment that didn't involve getting his teammates stung by bees. But then, I'm allergic to bees.

  3. almost makes me wish I had a tv...

  4. Hey, at least Defuser's still in. He's easily my favorite.

  5. William GatevackesAugust 3, 2007 at 3:54 PM

    My favorite Stan Lee WWTBAS quote had to be from last year when he told the Iron Enforcer that "Heroes don't kill". I guess Marvel doesn't send him any of the Punisher books in his comp box.

  6. Eh, that one's okay.
    Old school Marvel heros didn't even kill off Doomsy, so he has ground to stand on.

    Punisher's an anti-hero.

  7. The whole series is pointless. They show who will be the final three contestants in the opening. Watch it next time, and look who is on the three comic book covers.

    And this year's contestants are just lame. Season one succeeded mainly because of "Major Victory" and his entertainment factor, in my humble opinion. For example, after he was eliminated, he received a call from his daughter. And as he was leaving, he say "This is a nice phone. Can I keep it?" There has yet to be anyone on the show this year with half his charisma.

    Apparently there is a show on SciFi Pulse called "The Superhero After Show" where Feedback (year one's winner) interviews the departing heroes. Would be interesting to check that out to see Mindset's comments.

  8. To update my last post.


    If those are not the finally three... well... PalPal will not have to be nekkied for one day!

    And I did watch the video at SciFi Pulse of Mindset's post-elimination interview. I recommend it. Personally, I found it more entertaining than the tv show itself.

  9. Yeah, I'll be honest, I never really liked Stan Lee. I've been an occasional X-Men fan at best, and Thor I just love because he's a sodding Norse God.

    The rest of them, I can take 'em or leave 'em. Now Stan Lee's good for a name, and cameo's in Marvel movies recently.

    Give me Who Wants To Be A Superhero hosted by Warren Ellis, Garth Ennis, or even effing Brian Bendis. Not Grant Morrison though, he'll end up sleeping with all the female contestants. He's a pimp.


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