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Thursday, February 21, 2013

Glockenpony

You should blame WizardPC for starting this.  You can blame me for the name, though.

And for what follows. And for being the a main contagion for ponies within the gun community.

Okay, go ahead and blame me...


Once upon a time, in the land of Equestria...



... three young ponies came across a strange object near the Everfree Forest. 


"What is it?" asked one of them. 

"It looks scary!" said another. 

"What should we do with it?" asked the third.

"Let's get Twilight Sparkle!" the first pony said. "She'll know what to do!" 

The other two thought this was a fine idea, and so they returned to Ponyville in order to find Twilight.
 


The three ponies found Twilight Sparkle at Rarity's boutique, where she was giving Twilight and Rainbow Dash a "sparkle makeover". All three of them agreed to come see this scary object.  



"Stay behind us, girls!" said Twilight. We know how to handle monsters." Cautiously, the three brave ponies approached to investigate.  
 



Twilight smiled when she saw what it was, because she had read about these objects in  her studies at Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns.

It was known as a Glock, and while it was believed to possess terrible power, Twilight also knew that it would not harm them if it was not provoked.



Still, she needed to make sure the other ponies would not injure themselves with it. She climbed on top of it and began telling the others how to make it safe for everypony.


First, she pressed the magazine release with her hoof while directing the others to remove it. Rainbow Dash provided the muscle while Rarity supported it with her ponykinesis. 


Once the magazine was a safe distance away, the next step was to lock the slide to the rear. This was a difficult task that would take the cooperation of all three ponies! 


Rainbow Dash pulled on the slide with all of her might, while Twilight helped with her own ponykinesis. When it was all the way to the rear, Twilight engaged the slide lock. Meanwhile, Rarity caught the cartridge that was ejected, gently lowering it to the ground. "My, how shiny it is!" she thought. "I must use this in an ensemble!"


Telling the other ponies that it was now safe, Twilight did what she does best: Lecture!  She instructed the young fillies on what a Glock was, how it worked, and how they were never in any danger because they never touched the trigger. 

 

The fillies were relieved that they had done the smart thing by telling a responsible adult what they had found, and they gladly listened to Twilight's lesson. 

Meanwhile, Rarity and Rainbow Dash got into in argument over who would take the shiny cartridge home.  


The End.

23 comments:

Erin Palette said...

Before anyone gets bent out of shape over this and think I have ponies advocating the use of firearms, please note that Twilight Sparkle never allowed anypony to cross in front of the barrel, and that the actions described here -- Stop, Don't Touch, Leave the Area, Tell An Adult --  are proper gun safety lessons for children.

Suzanne McCarley said...

Besides, who better than a toy, to explain what is and is not, a toy?

Timshelbks said...

Very very nice work. I just hope that Rarity and Rainbow Dash can resolve the cartridge problem amicably. Sad that there were not enough cartridges in the magazine to give every pony one, but that would mean no lesson in sharing I guess.

Critter said...

personally, i don't care for the pony business, but this was really cute. :)

WeerdBeard said...

Ponies unload and show clear!!!!

Charles G Hill said...

Seriously brilliant.

Jennifer Oclaray Hast said...

Love it! Nicely done

Erin Palette said...

I don't own a Colt.  :(

Besides, then I wouldn't have been able to make the Glockenpony pun! ;)

GorgonMozarella said...

Is "don't touch the trigger" sufficiently comprehensive for those who are able to use Ponykinesis?

Erin Palette said...

I take it you are referring to the second to last panel?  If so, the trigger is illuminated via unicorn magic as a reference -- i.e. the other ponies don't know what a trigger *is*, and Twilight is saying "Hey! This thing right here! Don't touch it, okay?"  She's not actually manipulating it.

It's much like a human pointing to the trigger with a finger, rather than actually booger-hooking the bang switch.

herddog505 said...

I... I... I don't quite know what to say.  It's not how I would teach the rules, but it would likely work for a little girl.

Well done.

julied said...

Lol ... well that was um, different.  I'll get horse-mad (and gun aware) Miss 9 to have a read tomorrow and let you know what she thinks.

Robert McDonald said...

I admit it. It's awesome. Sorry I took so long to read it.

johnnyreb™ said...

Way cool, Erin

Erin Palette said...

*hoofbump*

SiGraybeard said...

I guess we refer to this as the Glockenshpiel?  

David aka True Blue Sam said...

Two Thumbs Up!

Brigid said...

That was pure genius!  Whinny ya going to do another one?

Erin Palette said...

Jeez, I dunno. It was hard taking decent pictures (and some of those are just barely adequate) due to the crappy digital camera I have. I had to take those pics outside in the driveway in order to get good lighten, and even then Rarity appears washed out half the time.

So um... I need more pony toys, a better photographer and an idea what to do next?

julied said...

Well Miss 9 liked the story and wants a copy of it.

AGirl said...

Love it! Extremely creative!

Mike James said...

Forgive me, the ponies are so small in relation to the social implement that I kept thinking that they were hoping to bring some sort of siege to a victorious conclusion.

But, I'll echo the sentiments of everyone else--that was fun. It wouldn't hurt if you got some sort of gig visiting classrooms and teaching the kids the Four Rules, at least that's what I got out of reading that.

Henry Bowman said...

I'll have to remember this:
Stop.
Don't Touch.
Leave the Area.
Call Twilight Sparkle.

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