Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Today I Am Ten

This was the picture I used for my first avatar. 
Yes, it's blatant cleavage. I chose this because:
1) It's a nice photograph
2) It would catch the attention of male readers
3) It 's a subtle reminder to treat me like a girl.
Today is the 10th anniversary of my first ever blog post. I'm as shocked as you are, to be honest.

Ten years. A decade! Wow. This is the longest I've ever done anything, and if you'd told me back in 2007 that I'd still be writing this blog, I would have been surprised that I had enough to write about for that long a time.

Oh, who am I kidding? I love to hear myself talk.

Still, 2017's Lurking Rhythmically is dramatically different from 2007's. Back then, I'd lost a great job and was getting frustrated with my inability to find a new one, and so I figured I'd use my copious free time to do that "blogging thing" that all the cool kids were doing. I had written some some stories in high school, Creative Writing being my favorite class, but I'd fallen out of practice since graduation. I thought that having a blog would be a great way to get back into the habit of writing and hopefully polish my skills... and in that regard, at least, I succeeded. I am a much better writer than I was 10 years ago, and I enjoy the  rush of creating something that others read and comment on.

But the format and tone have changed. A decade ago, my attitude was more "Oh my darlings, let me show you my playful nerdiness" whereas today I'm more inclined to go "I have important stuff to say, so buckle up, buttercup."  I have to admit that I miss some of the whimsy of those early years.

I also miss the nearly divine madness that gripped me when I was writing Curse/Or. It bugs me on a very deep level that I haven't finished that story, but for some reason I have extreme difficulty getting back into the headspace for writing long form fiction. I worry that I'll never complete Camel's story.

However, some things have changed for the better:
  • I'm a product reviewer now, which is awesome
  • I edit a prepping blog which is just full of useful information written by really smart people (even if their grammar is abysmal -- love you, David!). 
  • I co-host a podcast which is pretty popular.
  • And of course I founded Operation Blazing Sword, which is not only doing great things by helping train LGBTQ people in gun safety, but which has also made me some kind of figurehead/spokeswoman for the gun-owning LGBTQ community. 
  • Oh, and I showed my face, which is something I fervently believed I would NEVER EVER do. I was convinced that if people knew I'd been born male, they'd hate me forever.. and they didn't. That's right up there with "pose nude" in Things I Never Thought Would Happen In This Lifetime. 
So what does the next decade hold for me? Given how much my blog and I have changed since 2007, I don't feel confident speculating. I'm very busy now, and it looks like I'm going to get even busier with OBS and Second Amendment activism, so I am worried that I may not have the time or energy needed to sustain blogging for another decade. (Heck, given the pace of technology and Google's antics, blogger-as-a-platform might not even exist in 2027.) I will however take this opportunity to say the following things:

I'm going to keep doing this as long as I can 
-- but please note that blogging isn't paying my bills right now. At some point, I may need to close this down in order to make ends meet. I had really hoped to be a New York Times bestselling author by this point, but oh well. (By the way, big lacy "thank yous" with hearts to everyone who sponsors me on Patreon!)

The NRA really needs to put me on their payroll. 
That way I can say things like "Hi, I'm transgender and lesbian. Do go ahead and cishet-splain to me about how my fears of being a victim of a hate crime are fabricated." on command.

On a related note, I'd like be the first to announce that the transgender version of Uncle Tom is an Aunt Dorothy, and the transgender version of "House Negro" is "Performance Tranny." I figure that if I'm going to be called names for going off-narrative, I might as well pick those names myself. 

Oh, and before you ask, I'm a 4:11 final drive, with a 6-speed double-overdrive and a competition clutch.

And finally, some puckish humor. 
Sometimes I miss being zany and irreverent. I need to try to find that place in my head again; it was fun being "that girl who says inappropriate things."

That said, here's a song for Wednesday Night Wackiness that I feel perfectly encapsulates what Lurking Rhythmically has always been about.

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