Wednesday Night WTF?

I... have very confused feelings about this video.

On the one hand, "Yay boobs! I like looking at boobs!"

On the other hand, "Boobs without nipples aren't as interesting. Boobs with mouths IN PLACE OF nipples are downright disturbing. Rather like a distaff version of Neil Gaiman's Corinthian."

On the third hand, I'm pretty sure everyone reading this blog can think of kinky stuff to do with boob mouths.

The phrase that got me banned from Facebook

"I was once niggardly with a jigger full of chiggers."

Go read the PJ Tatler article about it. 

I am immensely proud of this ban, mostly because I know I don't have anywhere near the readership that Michael Z. Williamson has, and yet I was able to offend enough brittle people to get censored and timed-out just like he did. I've got game, baby.    ::flex::

Again, not a picture of me. I just like her expression and muscle tone. 

 Here's what I find darkly amusing:

• Mad Mike got blocked for saying "Chigger," but I didn't. Of course, I included a link to the Wikipedia article about chiggers, which probably helped my case. 
• I "confessed" to being a pedagogue. Which, curiously, did not result in a ban, as I assumed people would confuse pedagogue (which I am) with pedophile (which I'm not). 
• Yet in between those two, a bit of doggerel which included a legitimate word for "stingy" that only sounds racist got me banned. 
• And yet, the "Kill George Zimmerman" page somehow doesn't violate Facebook standards, despite having a credible threat of violence. 

Oh, Facebook admins. You're such a bunch of cunctators. 

My Seminal Work

I have made a decision.

Starting now, instead of using the word "germ" to describe something small and seedlike, my metaphor of choice is now "sperm".

See what I did there?

They both mean "seed". They even sound alike. In fact, from a linguistic point of view, unless you are talking in strictly biological terms, the two words are interchangeable. But it's sneaking a word perceived as naughty or inappropriate into casual conversation.

I expect to get several "who huh wha?" looks when I do this. Especially if I mumble it slightly.

Surely... surely she didn't say what I thought she said, they'll think. She must have said "germ". Yes. That's the only reasonable explanation.

Sperm. Sperm sperm sperm sperm sperm. It's fun to say. Would you look askance at a girl who, by chance, happens to say "sperm"?

I thought not.

Erin Palette: Breaking people's brains with proper terminology since 1987.