Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Fa la la la fuck it


That's it.

I'm done with Christmas this year.

Even though I'm trying very hard to have a low-key, slackful holiday season, apparently that sort of thing is just not allowed in my family.

From morning until night in this house, there is enforced Christmas cheer. I didn't mind the first 18 hours of Christmas carols, but it's gotten to where I can't hear myself think anymore. All the baking was nice -- until I couldn't fix myself dinner because there was no counter space, the oven and microwave were in use, and I couldn't even get to the fridge.

And of course, we have the holiday arguing to go with the high-stress holiday. Yay.

Tonight, it finally got to me. I couldn't take it anymore. I knocked over a glass of cranberry juice onto the carpet and I just collapsed, bawling. It was one of those full-contact cries, with the shaking and the snot dripping from my nose and me making unfathomable noises as I gasped for air between words.

Because, you see, I was terrified that I'd spilled it onto my mother's priceless, hand-made Christmas tree skirt with the glitter and appliqué Santas.

I think my family has noticed that maybe, just maybe, their daughter doesn't love this holiday as much as they do, and needs a break from it.

I think their other clue was when I went to the refrigerator, pulled out the eggnog and sake, and started tossing back Nog-a-Sake's. (The trick is to mix them, otherwise the sake causes the eggnog to separate.)

At any rate, I'm done. I'm so fucking done with this high-stress, commercially bastardized holiday. I'm going to do a very large shot of NyQuil, and see if I can sleep until 2009.

Other than posting my Christmas poem on the 24th, Lurking Rhythmically is going offline until the New Year.

To those of you who DO celebrate this holiday, I really do wish you all a Merry Christmas, and I sincerely hope yours is better than mine. If you feel inclined to do something for me, all I ask is that you send me an email saying that you read this blog and you enjoy it.

Thank you, and goodnight.


  1. Ah, I know the feeling. It happens to me, too, and not just at Christmas. It's particularly bad at times like this, though. At the moment, the combined stress of (A) the end of the semester and all that entails, (B) my upcoming trip to Canada, and all that entails, (C) comic-related stuff that's really pushing down on me, and (D) my freakin' weight, which is also really pushing down on me (and on everything else!).

    I tend to do a lot of my bawling in the shower, which makes for a real "Crying Game" scenario.

    So...I have to know...how did the cranberry juice situation come out?

    (and now, btw, I'm having a craving for cranberry juice, thanks)

  2. Oh Pal, I'm sorry stuff like that happens. I'm glad you're doing the blog and glad you share with us. *hugs* You're a friend, and here's hoping for the best things for you and yours, regardless of the season.

  3. Merry Christmas, and I enjoy your blog! (Sorry, don't have your email, so you get a blog comment. Sometimes Santa has to show some initiative.)

  4. "I do read and enjoy your blog."
    And Right there with ya. I loath this time of year. If I ever get rich, I am going to find a remote cabin, or cave, and hibernate from the end of October til the end of February. No tv, radio, phone, computer. Skip the "holiday" season entirely. And conveniently, my birthday as well. If it happens, you have a standing invite. No carols, baking, decorating, or stress.

  5. Ah the festive season! A time for spiritual renewal or for having your mind forcibly restored to factory settings via complete system overload :-b

    Glad to see the 'duck and cover' method of survival got you through it - the 'duck' being alcohol and the 'cover' being denial.
    There was much 'duck' at my Christmas celebrations as well but there is no chance for 'cover' amongst the tribe that shares my genes, we replace it with food instead.
    Happy New Year and Good Riddance Giftmas!


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