Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Super-Fashion Week Begins!

As those who follow me on Facebook, Google+, and Twitter already know, I am a big fan of watching beauty pageants so that I can applaud and/or mock (usually mock) the costumes. There's something about the big multinational contests that really brings out the opulent and absurd elements of costume fashion, such that whenever I watch Miss Universe or Miss World, I like to play a little game I call "Superhero, showgirl, slut." You can probably guess what the rules are for that game.

Since it just so happens that it's Fashion Week up in New York, and Miss Universe was on last night, I figured I'd take some of the more interesting costumes and give them superhero writeups. The rules are pretty simple:
  1. Their costume has to look like something. It can't just be a nationally-appropriate piece of clothing. Sorry, Miss Greece. Your toga looks fantastic but it doesn't specifically shout "super-powers." 
  2. Their costume must look like it could conceivably be worn in a super-battle. Therefore, floor-length gowns are out. Sorry, Miss Mexico. You'd be a one-appearance villainess at most.
  3. Their shoes get a pass because a) these are women in a contest so they're all wearing heels, and b) superheroines have been wearing impractical footwear since forever. Running in stilettoes is just one of their powers. Good news, Miss Guatemala, you're in.
  4. Their costumed identities need to come from/ represent the host country, because that'd be cheating otherwise. This gives us the fun ability to make Cultural Stereotype Heroes a la the Global Guardians.
  5. Extraneous bits like feathers may be interpreted as special effects for superpowers, because you can't get a lot of mileage out of "Tickle Lass." (Well, you could, but that would be an entirely different genre...)
The fashion show begins in the next post!

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