Why I Carry: One Reason Out Of Many

I missed yesterday's Monday Gunday article due entirely to tomfoolery on my part, so I'd like to rectify that by encouraging folks to head over to Kathy Jackson's excellent Cornered Cat blog and read what she posted there today.

Her first paragraph:

In the video below, you’ll see an incredible event: a machete-wielding attacker literally hacks his way through a locked apartment door. The resident does what he needs to do to protect himself and others in the home. It’s like a scene out of a horror movie — but most directors wouldn't use the footage, because what audience would believe that a door could be so flimsy? Or that someone with a machete would hack his way through it? Nevertheless, this really happened.

If you're not already subscribed to her blog, I encourage you to go there now and give it a read. It will be a quick read, and the embedded video needs to be seen to be believed.

Gun Blog Variety Podcast #26

http://tinyurl.com/nmwoenx

Has it been six months of podcasting already?

• I tell listeners how Doomsday Preppers is designed to make everyone look bad.
• Nicki Kenyon discusses the 2015 National Security Strategy.
• Miguel Gonzalez wants us to get our heads right by reading some good self defense books.
• Barron B. talks about how two factor authentication needs to come to banks.
• and Weer'd scores an interview with Joe Huffman about the Seattle Smart Gun Symposium and how so-called "Smart Guns" aren't really all that bright an idea.
• And of course, Adam and Sean continue to execute their host duties flawlessly.

Listen to the podcast here.
Show notes may be found here.

Thanks for listening, downloading, and subscribing. Don't forget to share with a friend!

Singles Awareness Day

c.f. Singles Awareness Day.

Credit to Emillu for the artwork.

SHTFriday: the 12 C's of Preparedness

By popular demand, an extended text version of my Gun Blog Variety Cast segment from a few weeks ago. Go read the whole thing. 

Not actually Erin.
Picture by KJ Photography
& is used with permission.

No More Peter Parker

Oh so much to talk about lately..

So the Marvel Cinematic Universe has grown just a little more grander, as Sony and Marvel have finally reached an agreement to share Spider-man. Which I'm more than a little glad to hear, as Sony's been spinnings its wheels pretty hard trying to get Spidey over again, and it continues the trend of Marvel gobbling up its properties since it struck out on its own and started being profitable again by making the mostly excellent MCU films and live-action properties such as Agent Carter and Agents of SHIELD.

Yay, right? ...right? Truth be told, I've never really been a fan of Spider-man.

Pictured: Me not being a Spider-man fan

Ok, well, let me specify. Peter Parker kinda bores me. He's a nerdy guy with super powers that talks a mile a minute when he's in the mask. Parker really just doesn't do it for me. I appreciate his prominence and his importance in not only the storytelling structure of the Marvel universe, but as one of the faces of comics to the world at large. I mean, the man's got his own 3D theme park ride (which is pretty fun – I got to ride it a few weeks ago. Only complaint is that it runs at 30 frames per second). He's had one of the longest-running comic books of all time, more animated series than even Batman, multiple feature films (even before super-hero movies really took off) and video games, etc, etc.

Almost all of it focused on Peter Parker. I really can't see how people can't be suffering Parker burnout at this point, especially given the 5 feature films over the last 12 years focused around him. By the end of the first movie, I'd already gotten sick of Tobey Maguire's doughy, weepy face and I'd never liked Kirstin Dunst as Mary Jane. Andrew Garfield actually made me start to like Parker, and Emma Stone is perfect in nearly anything (shout-out to the far superior Gwen Stacy), which makes it a little bit of a shame that we won't see these two back again for a third film. Marvel's looking at rebooting the franchise yet again for the MCU, which irritates me to no end.

But some of Spidey's supporting cast is really interesting.

So here's the Spider-film Salem would make. Spider-man already exists. No origin story. We know how it happened. That ground has not only been covered, but it's been paved, re-paved, and turned into a freeway, hit by a comet, abandoned, then turned into renewable farmland. So not only do we go in with the premise that he's already been Spidey, but that he's worked with the brains of the MCU already. He knows Tony Stark, he's butted heads with Nick Fury, done a back-flip off of Cap's shield, and been terribly awkward around Black Widow. He's older, more experienced. He's still Peter Parker, but he's much further along in his career. I mean, at this point who hasn't seen at least the last two films?

Cue the twist: Anya Corazon. The current Spider-girl is a character I'm actually quite fond of. Her dad was friends with the Fantastic Four. She's worked alongside some of the best in the Marvel U, and she's faced down some pretty hefty threats including the Red Hulk. So we re-align some of the events and people in her life to fit. 

And she's the gosh-darn Spider-girl

As previously discussed, Parker's established. He regularly works with Tony Stark. Her father, who was friends with Reed Richards in the comics, is now the go-to reporter for Stark. So let's say there's an attempt to get to Stark by the Sisterhood of the Wasp through Happy Hogan. Hogan's attacked by them, and as we all know he's not terribly adept at physical combat, so he's taking a beating. Anya, on her way to meet her father, is with Hogan, and jumps in the way of a kill-shot. Hogan calls it in and Stark and Parker show up as backup in full costume/armor. Anya's fatally wounded, but Stark thinks he has an answer..

Through a combination of a blood transfusion with Parker and Stark engineering, Anya's life is saved and she's enhanced with powers similar to Parker's. We skip most of the mysticism of her original powers as well as the “Spider Island” origin of her current powers, and tie her and Parker into the current MCU. Additionally, if Marvel wants to skip turning General “Thunderbolt” Ross into Red Hulk, we can use Banner's Hulk (any excuse for more Mark Ruffalo) for her to play off of and just compress the Ravens and the Sisterhood of the Wasp into the same storyline and have Parker mentoring her while they and Hulk take out the Wasps.

This would also set her up as a secondary character in the Captain Marvel film(s), sort of like Black Widow in The Winter Soldier, as she's regularly worked with Carol Danvers as both Ms and Captain Marvel. Granted, this is all in my head, and I sincerely doubt Kevin Feige is reading Erin's blog, but if he is..

Call me, Kev. We can make this work.

OW OW OW F'ING OW

So, I sliced the hell out of my left index finger last night.

No, I wasn't being careless with a knife. Some idiot* left a razor lying face up under a pile of things, and when I reached down to grab things from that pile to sort them, my finger caught and dragged across the blade at just the right angle to slice off a wide strip of skin from my fingertip. It's not deep, but it's broad, and it hurts like a mofo (because it's on my fingertip, where so many nerves are). Imagine a skinned knee, but on my fingertip instead.

It also bled like a stuck pig, soaking through bandages like crazy. I managed to stop it last night by wrapping it in several paper towels** and taping them in place because Band-Aids just weren't up to the task. But when I changed the bandage this morning (because I couldn't get anything done with a freaking clown nose around my finger), it started bleeding again.

This is the second bandage, applied by a family member. You can see how the
cotton is completely soaked through.  You DON'T want to see the first bandage. 

I say this not for sympathy (although I'll gladly take well-wishes) but to say the following:

1. Don't bury sharp things under other things. Just... don't. 
2. It's amazing how much blood a superficial cut can make. My bathroom looked like an abattoir by the time I was finished. 
3. It's really hard to open first aid supplies without an index finger. Band-aids, apparently, need two functioning hands to properly open and apply.

*Sadly, I was that idiot.

** Why not gauze? Because as I discovered last night, it's hard to open those glued paper packages with just one hand and a couple fingers from the other. It's even harder when blood is running down my hand, dripping everywhere, and generally getting that paper wet so that it just tears off in little pieces like soggy tissue. Paper towels, meanwhile, I could just grab and rip off by the handful.

Walking Dead and the Law of CBM (spoilers for 2/8/15)

And by CBM, I mean "Conservation of Black Men."

Now before I begin, let me make something clear:  I'm not calling the writers of The Walking Dead racist. I'm NOT. They've killed young and old, black and white, male and female. It's just that I've noticed this pattern and I wonder if anyone else has, as well?

http://tinyurl.com/bq7h5q4

First there was Morgan Jones, in the very first episode ("Days Gone By"). He's a neat character who I wish we'd seen more of (and hopefully we will if he catches up with the group this season), but he stays behind when Rick goes to Atlanta. This gives us a Black Male Value of 1.

http://tinyurl.com/q9m7tyo

However, the BMV of the show doesn't change, because even though we've lost Morgan we meet T-Dog in the next episode ("Guts"). Sadly, T-Dog doesn't do a hell of a lot for his entire run and his character is never fully explored, despite being on the show for two seasons.

Andrew
http://tinyurl.com/ku5npno

In the second episode of season 3 ("Sick"), our intrepid group of survivors goes to the Prison and finds several inmates inside. This is where we see the Law of Conservation of Black Men in action, as three of the characters (Andrew, Big Tiny, and Oscar) are black and, at this moment, any of them could join the group. But within that same episode, Big Tiny is killed and Andrew becomes a villain, fleeing from the group. This sets our BMV to 2.

Oscar
http://tinyurl.com/k4dzvt3

Big Tiny
http://tinyurl.com/m26ckxo

The next time we see them ("Killer Within"), T-Dog is killed by walkers and Oscar takes his place within the group. The BMV is reset to 1, and the LCBM is observed to be constant.

http://tinyurl.com/pgtvgp8

In episode 8 ("Made to Suffer"), Oscar is killed when the group assaults Woodbury to rescue a captured Glenn and Maggie. Later that episode, we first meet Tyreese, but he is not accepted into the group due to Rick flipping out, and so Tyreese goes to Woodbury. The BMV stays at 1 for the duration of season 3.

http://tinyurl.com/qjuvs88

By season 4 I'm already aware of the LCBM, so when we're introduced to Bob Stookey I'm convinced he's going to die horribly that episode ("30 Days Without An Accident"). I think perhaps the writers are aware of this as well, and so they spend a good chunk of the season messing with us, making us think Bob is going to die at any moment: trapped under a shelf of booze to be eaten by walkers, getting alcohol when he should be getting supplies, generally annoying the group, etc.

Miraculously, Bob survives the entire season, which means that the BMV has permanently been set to 2. I think this is mainly due to the fact that Bob and Sasha make an adorable couple, and this gives Tyreese a family he can look after... which means the stakes are upped as now even more heartache can be inflicted upon these people as the things they love are ripped away.

http://tinyurl.com/q5d7qbe

This brings us to season 5, and in the second episode ("Strangers") we are introduced to Father Gabriel Stokes, who is both a priest (Episcopalian) and a black man. Much like Bob, in his first few episodes we wonder how he's survived this long and when he's going to die... but there's always the possibility that he can pull a Bob and increment the Black Male Value by one.  Does he?

Nope. Bob is captured in that same episode, and he's dead by the next. Both the BMV and LCBM remain constant.

http://tinyurl.com/nb7eszh

In episode 4 ("Slabtown"), we are introduced to Noah. He's a bit of a statistical anomaly in that he isn't part of the group, but is rather a prisoner held by the same people who captured Beth. Later he escapes, and even later he meets up with Darryl and Carol. He doesn't join the group until episode 8 ("Coda"). BMV temporarily rises to three...

... and then, in episode 9 ("What Happened and What's Going On"), the LCBM reasserts itself and Tyreese dies in what is probably the best and most touching farewell episode ever given to a character.

Again, I'm not asserting racism. I am asserting either lazy writing or a deliberate attempt by the writers to screw with us.

Look, basically what I'm really saying is this:

1. The moment Morgan catches up with the rest of the group, someone's gonna die (right now it's even money between competent-yet-injured Noah and  Father Gabriel the moveable feast)
2. If the survivors ever run into another Asian male, I'm going to be very, very frightened for Glenn's safety.