Sunday, March 12, 2017

Gun Blog Variety Podcast #134 - Condiments and Cutlery

In Mordor on the Potomac, only criminals can carry guns.
  • People are so fixated on being "Nice" that Beth thinks they've lost sight of the real goal: being Good.
  • When a suspect ends an hour-long standoff by shooting himself, is that a good resolution? Sean tells you who the suspect was so you can decide for yourself.
  • Barron is on assignment and will return soon.
  • In the Main Topic, Erin tells us about her trip to Maryland Shall Issue.
  • Tiffany is on assignment and will return next week.
  • It's good for your tea and it's good for hypoglycemia - Erin tells you about honey in your EDC.
  • When someone tries to open an indoor gun range in Northern New Jersey, the anti-gun nuts lose their minds. Join Weer'd as he listens to their proposed "Reasonable" restrictions.
  • And our plug of the week is for War Stories Podcast.
Thank you for downloading, listening, and subscribing. You are subscribed, right? We are available on iTunes, Stitcher Radio, and Google Play Music!
Listen to the podcast here.
Read the show notes here.
Thanks to LuckyGunner and Remington for their sponsorship, and a special thanks to Firearms Policy Coalition for their support.

Blue Collar Prepping Transcript:
Hypoglycemia and Honey
I had an interesting experience when at MAG40: one of the students, who is diabetic, started experiencing hypoglycemia, and I had that prepper moment of “OH I HAVE JUST THE THING FOR THIS!” glee. 

For those who don’t know, if you have diabetes you are prone to two types of blood sugar problems: too much and too little. 

Too much blood sugar is known as hyperglycemia. As  a diabetic friend of mine puts it, “Hyperglycemia is when your sugar hits 400 or so, and you get a little crazy, then you pass out, and unless you get insulin, you die.”  Most preppers don’t have access to insulin - you need a prescription for it - and because it’s light sensitive and requires refrigeration, you can’t carry it around in your first aid kit. There are some shelf-stable things which help, like glipizide, but it’s also prescription. So unless you’re diabetic yourself, or a licensed EMT, if  someone else experiences hyperglycemia the only thing you can do is call 911 and hope an ambulance gets there in time.

However, the other side of this tightrope is hypoglycemia, which is “your blood sugar drops through the floor, you get crazy, then pass out and die” according to that same friend. But unlike hyperglycemia, hypoglycemia is very easy to fix: just give that person some sugar. Now, the fastest way to do that is with a glucose IV, but again, unless you’re a licensed professional with medical gear, you won’t be carrying that around. But there are other ways to get that sugar into their system quickly. 

The key word here is “quickly”. Many sugary snacks are made with sucrose, also known as table sugar. Sucrose is actually a compound of two other sugars, glucose and fructose, and before those sugars can get into the body they must be separated via a digestive enzyme within the small intestine. Now there are many bad things to be said about high-fructose corn syrup, but one good thing about it is that is doesn’t need that enzyme to get into the body. So if you have a soda nearby, that’s a good way to get sugar into a hypoglycemic person, but soda cans a large and not really a convenient part of a first aid kit. 

Which brings me to what I had in my first aid kit at MAG40: a sealed tube of honey. Honey is amazing for different reasons: one of those reasons is that it doesn’t go bad, ever. Another reason is that is contains both glucose and fructose, but they aren’t linked, meaning that they absorb into the body faster than sucrose. So when I noticed my friend wasn’t well, and people were looking for sugar to give her, I ran to the blowout kit in my range bag, got the stick of honey, cut the end off with a knife, and squeezed the honey into her mouth. 

I’m not going to say that it saved her, because there were plenty of other people there helping, but I know for a fact it didn’t didn’t hurt her. More importantly -- which is why I’m sharing this with you folks, because I’m not telling this story as an “Oh, aren’t I awesome” moment -- it showed me that it wasn’t dumb to have a container of honey in my medical supplies. 9.3 percent of Americans have diabetes, so odds are good that you know someone who has the disease and might need help with a hypoglycemic episode. Be  prepared for that!

You can buy 100 sticks of clover honey for only $16.95 from Amazon. They’re 6.5 inches and contain 5 grams of honey each, so they fit easily inside a purse, backpack, or first aid kit. They’re shelf-stable and won’t go bad in high heat or humidity, so make them a part of your everyday carry. Even if you never need to help a diabetic, you can always use them to sweeten to your coffee or tea. 

Thursday, March 9, 2017

He Will Not Divide Us REEEE He Will Not Divide Us REEEE He Will Not Divide Us REEEE

Two great disappointments happened to me recently.

Disappointment the first: Shia LeBouf's planned four-year "art" installation #HeWillNotDivideUs relocated to Albuquerque after the Museum of the Moving Image kicked him out when he was arrested for assaulting fellow protesters. Disappointment the second: he was gone from Albuquerque inside of a week and I missed it entirely.

I had a week's vacation earlier in February, as you may have noticed from my absence, and I had meant to go see the installation, if only to have a laugh at his expense. I'm all for public protest, as long as it's peaceful protest (see my recent rants on Antifa), and if Shia wants to spend the next four years cosplaying as a homeless person in downtown Albuquerque then by god I want to witness it in person when our own union of homeless people find him.

Trolls flooded his original installation at the museum in NYC, as expected. For a city with over eight million people, you've got to have at least a few tens of thousands of trolls, and even Twitch streamer Brittany Venti got in on the act. But the breaking blow came when Shia mistook one of his supporters for a troll and assaulted him, resulting in his arrest.

Seriously normies, get off Brittany's stream.
Please keep in mind that I cannot stand Shia LeBouf. His role in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull put a damper on a movie that was already completely unnecessary, and my love of the sentient robots of the Transformers franchise was insulted with Michael Bay's movies. Moreso even than the humping dogs, annoying parents, robots peeing on people, and racial stereotypes was Shia LeBouf, with his smug stupid face overacting his pants off shrieking incoherently and bashing things at every opportunity. My distaste of him was so much so that I considered the last Transformers movie, Age of Extinction, to be the best of a bad franchise (which runs contrary to popular opinion) if only because the main human protagonist was replaced by a bland Mark Wahlberg. Aside from these I have never seen Shia in anything else, save an extremely strange and slight discomforting music video where he rather aggressively dances in a cage with a prepubescent girl.

So yeah, when the trolls came for him, I was not disappointed. Please see reference material below, and a fair warning of people acting the fool.
So Shia upped roots and moved to Albuquerque, the biggest city in a rather sparse Blue state, where he thought he'd be safe and welcome. I'd made plans to visit the installation on a Wednesday during my vacation, but it turns out that there'd been gunshots in the vicinity (just off of 7th and Central, off of old Route 66) just days prior. The local news reported on it, and their statement was that he left after gunshots were reported in the area.

Welcome to the ABQ, Shia; didn't you see Breaking Bad? Gunshots are kinda the norm here. If you can't take a little small arms fire, you won't last long in Albuquerque. Honestly, I'm surprised we're not more progressive. Our cops shoot everyone, not just the brown people.

Shia's Homeless Person Cosplay
So I'm genuinely disappointed. I wanted to see the #HeWillNotDivideUs installation in person. I wanted to laugh at homeless-cosplaying Shia. But I missed my chance by mere days. And I think that makes me dislike Shia even more: more than being the stain on two beloved franchises and an all-around annoying human being, his cowardice at a normal occurrence in flyover country deprived me of a good laugh. I can only imagine that, somewhere right now, Shia is walking down a lonely highway with the closing theme of the old Hulk TV show playing into the wireless earbuds of his latest model of iPhone, having utterly failed to connect to the common person.

Update: /pol/ has found it. Shia moved the livestream to an undisclosed location and, using the position of the stars and the flight paths of three planes, /pol/ has discovered that what remains of #HeWillNotDivideUs is a white flag with the slogan on it and a camera pointed at it, somewhere southeast of Greeneville, TN. This was discovered in less than 24 hours, and the results posted less than 4 hours ago. The proof is in the pudding. I have to wonder if the white flag is symbolic of anything. 

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Range Time as Tax-Deductible Donation

For a while now I've been working a way for Operation Blazing Sword instructors to count the expenses incurred from taking an LGBTQ student shooting as a charitable donation. I'm pleased to be able to give you an answer now, courtesy of OBS Legal Counsel:

Multiple Contributions
Generally, if a donor makes multiple contributions during the year, each of which is less than $250, no substantiation form is necessary. Nevertheless, the donor must observe the minimum recordkeeping requirements, such as retaining canceled checks or simple contributions. See below if a donor makes multiple contributions during the year and more than one is equal to or greater than $250, one substantiation can be used for the total amount. Treas Reg 1.170A-13(f)(1).

Written Acknowledgment of Donor Expenses
Donors who incur out-of-pocket expenses of $250 or more when rendering services to a charitable organization and intend to deduct these expenses must also obtain written acknowledgement from the organization. The acknowledgment for expenses incurred need only describe the services provided by the donor and the value of good services provided in return (or a statement that none were provided); it need not include the date of the services. Treas Reg 1.170A-13(f)(10).

Example: A youth leader attends an annual youth event, incurs expenses for food, lodging , and travel exceeding $250. To deduct these out-of-pocket expenses, the individual will need a written statement from the youth organization describing the event and the leader’s participation.

What This Means For You
  1. If you take an LGBTQ student shooting and your expenses (ammunition, range fees, targets, etc) are less than $250 per trip, then you just claim that on your taxes. You'd better keep a record, though. 
  2. If you spend more than $250 per trip (or maybe you're making banners with the OBS logo on them for a county fair or whatever), then you need to send us a copy of the receipt. We will then send you a thank-you letter acknowledging your donation.
This will cover any LGBTQ shooting sessions since last summer, and you have this information well before tax time. If you need a letter, just email me and I'll be happy to accomodate you.

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

A Transcript of my MSI Address

To my brothers and sisters in occupied Maryland, I bring you greetings from free America! Shortly after becoming a 2nd Amendment rights activist, I swore that I would never set foot in a state that did not respect my inherent right to armed self-defense. As you can see, I have broken that oath, but I have done so with the best of intentions: to bring you a message of freedom, of solidarity, and of hope. I don't know if I could live in a state like this, but I'm glad that you do; so many gun owners leave states with restrictive firearm laws. While I cannot blame them, by leaving they make it easier for further restrictions to be passed; you, however, have chosen to stay and to fight for the right to keep and bear arms.

My name is Erin Palette, and I am the founder of Operation Blazing Sword and the Diversity Outreach Coordinator for Florida Carry. I like to refer to myself as "a Venn intersection of oddity", because  my political positons are seen by many as mutually exclusive: I am a gun owner who believes in LGBTQ rights, and a transgender woman who believes in the right to keep and bear arms.

The reason this may seem odd to you is because Americans have for decades been told that gun owners exist on the far right, and that the LGBTQ community is on the far left, and between these two positions is a stark cultural divide and therefore both sides can never agree on anything. This is of course pure nonsense: if you believe as I do that both gun rights and gay rights are civil rights, you see that there is quite a bit of overlap. Come to the Libertarian side, it's great.

Given my audience, I think I can skip my argument regarding why gun rights are civil rights, yes? Excellent, on to LGBTQ rights.
Ah, I see that some of you are shifting uncomfortably. Don't worry, I'm not here to wag my finger at you or lecture about gay marriage. I'm just going to give you some information you didn't have.

According to a 2012 poll, approximately 3.4 percent of Americans self-identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. To put that into perspective, as of the 2010 census 4.7% of Americans are ethnically Asian! However, despite being such a small percentage of the population, we are in fact disproportionately vulnerable to violence. According to a 2014 study by the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs (NCAVP), 20-25% of LGBTQ people experience hate crimes within their lifetimes.

A full quarter of only 3.4% of Americans are likely to be victims of violent crime, including assault, rape and murder – the most spectacular example of which being the Pulse terror attack in Orlando last year – and so, given this, you would think that the LGBTQ community would decide the best way to keep itself safe would be to learn how to use a gun and carry a lawfully concealed weapon... but it doesn't, and I'll explain why.

But first, a bit of a sidebar here. I understand that saying LGBTQ is a mouthful. I can do it because I've practiced it. But if you don't want to stumble over it like President Trump did during his campaign – and God bless him, he tried – here are two things you can do.
  1. Think of it like the name of a Star Wars character: Elgee Beeteeque. Any geeks here? If you can say the name of Jedi Master Ki-Adi-Mundi, then you can pronounce LGBTQ. Who wants to give it a try?
  2. If all else fails, just say "The queer community." Use the term queer because it's not specific to sexual orientation or to gender identity, and it's an umbrella term that can encompass a lot of people without either specifically defining them or excluding them. 
So now if anyone asks you, "Hey, what did you learn at the Maryland Shall Issue meeting Saturday, you can tell them "I learned that the queer community is a Star Wars character."

All right, back to why the queer community eschews firearms. Remember when I said that only 3.4% of Americans are LGBTQ? That's a small sample of such a large country, and like most demographics, we like to hang out with each other – in fact, it's necessary for a lot of us if we're ever going to find partners, husbands or wives. While the internet is great for this sort of thing, please keep in mind that the internet is a relatively recent invention, wheras people seeking homosexual partners have been around for much longer than that, and for much of that time it was not only culturally unacceptable but also illegal. Therefore, it it follows that a gay man seeking other gay men would not stay in a rural area where it would be impossible to find a companion, but would instead move to a big city where the attitudes are more cosmopolitan and sheer population density put the odds of finding a mate in his favor.

As queer demographics favor the urban of the rural, so do queer politics, and this resultes in supporting the politics of the Democratic party which also exalts the city over the countryside. This support was richly rewarded in the 1960s, 70s and 80s when the Democrats became the champions of the gay movement.

As we all know, the Democratic party is not favorably disposed towards the right of the individual citizen to keep and bear arms, and so the political culture of the LGBTQ community also began to see gun control as desirable and gun ownership as violent and gauche. Thus, the reluctance of queer Americans to arm themselves for lawful self-defense is the result of identity politics – although to be perfectly fair, using identity politics to advance the status of such a small and easily victimized group is quite understandable.
Then the Terror Attack upon Pulse happened on June 12, 2016, and everything changed because the queer community saw themselves attacked as a demographic. Prior to this, violence against LGBTQ individuals was seen as precisely that – individual. While it was understood that hate crimes happened, the perception was that they happened to queer persons in specific circumstances; in other words, it was seen as a very personal form of attack. An excellent example of this is what is known as "gay panic":  Your honor, I was just minding my business in this bar when that gay man came up and started making passes at me, and I was just so disgusted I panicked and beat him. There's a similar version known as "trans panic": Your honor, I took this girl back to my hotel room, and when I lifted her skirt I saw a penis, and I was just so disgusted that I panicked and beat him. 

But the Pulse Massacre was different; the shooter didn't attack a specific queer person, he attacked every person in that club. This shocked our community, not just because it was brutal and barbaric and cowardly, but also because we realized It really could happen to any of us, at any time, in any place.

Now I'd like to take a moment to make a very specific point here. I do not believe the LGBTQ community is in more danger now that it was before Pulse; this is rather like saying that America was in more danger from al-Qaeda on September 12, 2001 than it was on September 10. No, the danger was always there; it just required a shocking act to shake us from our reverie and get us to see it.

Speaking of terrorism, after the Pulse Terror Attack, something remarkable happened: the Democratic party – the party of gay rights – threw the queer community under the bus by refusing to call what happened at Pulse a hate crime or a terrorist attack. Many in my community realized that the party which they had supported would not protect them because it feared the political backlash of calling the Pulse murderer a Muslim killing homosexuals in accordance with his religion, or of suggesting that he was questioning his own sexuality and lashed out in his own form of "gay panic", and felt betrayed. More than a few queers looked at how long it took the police to stop the killing and thought You know, instead of being at the mercy of a madman for hours, maybe I'd like the personal agency to defend myself. This was a watershed moment in the history of queers and guns.

But remember, the queer community at large hates the notion of citizens engaging in armed self-defense, as shown by the post-Pulse remarks of George Takei and the rise of anti-gun LGBTQ activist groups like New York-based Gays Against Guns. There is such stigma against owning a firearm that admitting you are a queer gun owner is known as "coming out of the gun closet" and it carries nearly identical results to coming out last century: social ostracism, loss of friendships and/or jobs within the community, and even a technique known as "naming, shaming, and blaming".

So gun-curious LGBTQs find themselves in a precarious situation: in order to learn, they must out themselves as wanting to shoot guns before they have the opportunity to truly commit to gun ownership. Further, to whom do they go for instruction? Most queer gun owners are deep in the gun closet. Moreover, the gun-curious cannot easily get instruction outside their community; just like we have been taught that the LGBTQ community hates us and wants to forcibly disarm us, they've been taught that gun owners are all – sing along with me if you know the words – right-wing heterosexual white males who of course just HATE "dem fags" and want to see them all dead. So gun-curious queers don't feel SAFE, let alone comfortable, going to a shooting range and getting instruction, or walking into a gun store and asking advice, because they've been told that gun owners are so hateful and violent that they'd as soon shoot a queer as look at one.
This is where I come in. On June 13th, the Monday after it happened, I noticed something remarkable: gun owners across social media were posting not only messages and pictures of support, but they were also offering to take to the range, FOR FREE, anyone who wanted to learn how to shoot in self-defense. They were offering to provide everything: the guns, the ammunition, the ear and eye protection, the targets, pay for the range fees – EVERYTHING – because human life was precious and everyone, including their political opponents, deserved the ability to defend themselves effectively. And I was amazed that during all the finger-pointing, people who were supposed to be ideological enemies with the victims – people who, according to the media, should have been chortling about fewer votes against gun control – were instead reaching across the political divide to say "Hey, you have value. Your life matters to me. I want you to be able to defend it. If you want to learn, I want to teach you."

Now as I've said before, my feet are in two different camps – the 2nd Amendment activism camp and the LGBTQ rights camp – and I thought, "These offers are beautiful, but their intended audience isn't going to see them. I just happen to be one of the few people who has the ear of both groups. I'm going to compile a master list of all the people offering to help so it can be seen and shared by the queer community."
And so I began typing up a list of the names, cities and states, and contact information of the volunteer firearm instructors on Facebook. I expected that I'd get a couple dozen names and that would be it. Well, I started writing at 2:30 in the afternoon; when I finally crawled into bed 12 hours later, the post had become a Google map with around 100 instructors in various states across the country, and I'd acquired assistants to add the names for me because they were coming in faster than I could keep up with. In the first few days after Pulse, I would regularly wake up with over 100 new emails in my inbox.
That was the birth of Operation Blazing Sword, and it has only continued to grow since then. We now have over 1,420 trainers in our database; they are in every single state of the union – yes, even Hawaii – as well as the US Virgin Island and even Canada. We are international!
Right now, our goal is very simple: to offer free firearm safety education and training without judgement to anyone who wants it, regardless of their color, gender, sexual orientation, biology, or manner of dress. This wording is very important for several reasons.
  1. Education –  The left says they don't believe in abstinence-only sex education, so why do they insist upon abstinence-only firearms education? We disagree with that approach and believe that knowledge is critical to make an informed decision. We don't pressure our students to buy a firearm; if, after getting instruction, they decide that firearms aren't for them, that's fine – they've still made a decision based on facts and experience, not fear & what they've been told to feel by the media. Moreover, they've still learned the lessons of safe gun handling (such as Col. Cooper's Four Rules) which is important knowledge for any adult in America. 
  2. Free – After any gun-related tragedy, sales of firearms and ammunition increase and both the NRA and the gun lobby are accused of “Selling to Fear” and “Profiting off death” – but our instruction is FREE. If it's free, we can't be selling anything, Operation Blazing Sword is a nonprofit organization so we do not and literally cannot profit from any of this.  Also, the cost of training – firearm rental, ammunition costs, range fees, instructor time, etc – can be a barrier to entry for students who do not know if they want to try this. It's one thing to try something new if it costs you nothing; it's completely different if trying something new carries with it a $50 or more price tag. This reluctance is only increased when there is already social pressure against learning about guns, as I mentioned earlier. Making this basic instruction free removes another barrier to learning.
  3. Anyone – While Operation Blazing Sword's message is tailored to reaching out to LGBTQ people, we will in fact teach basic gun safety and operation to anyone who is legally able to hold a firearm. We do not discriminate; we are simply making an extra, specific effort to get the word out to the queer community that they are welcome to fight the cultural conditioning that had told them that they aren't welcome. But extra effort does not  mean “only queers are welcome”; if a straight white man wants training, we'll gladly do it.
Now I am often asked “How many queers has Operation Blazing Sword taught to shoot?” and the answer is that I don't know, because I respect their privacy! I'm not going to force  them to out themselves to me. However, some students are so enthusiastic about being empowered – or by their new, fun hobby of shooting – that some have contacted me to thank me, or to praise a trainer. I personally know of 5 students who have gone on to acquire concealed carry permits, and I operate on the principle that for every known student there is at least another who wishes to keep quiet. My biggest success is in fact Operation Blazing Sword's first ever student, a transgender man in North Carolina. After instruction, he bought a pistol; acquired a concealed carry permit; bought a hunting rifle and permit and began harvesting deer; and he has even started his own OBS chapter in Raleigh, spreading the message to other gun-curious queer students and helping to teach them.
Speaking of chapters, I need to clear up a very common confusion: we are not a branch of the Pink Pistols. We are sister organizations with similar goals but very different methodologies. For example:
  1. They are specifically a social organization for queer shooters; we seek to pair students with teachers regardless of orientation.
  2. They are local, we are national. Pink Pistols have no national leadership, only city-level chapters, and some states have no chapters at all. There is no Pink Pistol chapter anywhere in Maryland – the closest that I can find is a restricted Yahoo group that requires membership before one can join, which makes, y'know, attending a meeting rather difficult – but there are 18 OBS instructors in MD alone, including your own John Mountjoy.
  3. Our focus is on initial education and training; Pink Pistol chapters are more focused on being a shooting club. This is good because they keep LGBTQ shooters interested in the hobby and active in politics through events and camaraderie. My hope is that after we train hew gun owners, those people go on to join – or found! – Pink Pistol chapters.
Another frequent question I get is “What are your goals for the future of your organization?” And that's a wide open question. In the immediate future, I'd like to be able to offer fully-funded safety seminars, range days and concealed carry classes on a city scale – such as by buying out a shooting range in Orlando and making its services free to anyone who wants Blazing Sword instruction. Futher in the future, I'd like to branch out to other demographics who find training difficult, such as the the elderly  and the handicapped, and teaching them firearm safety.
If you would like to donate to Operation Blazing Sword, you have several options:
  1. Paypal link – you can send us money via www.paypal.me/OpBlazingSword
  2. Send a physical check to 800 Belle Terre Parkway #200-302, Palm Coast FL 32164
  3. Or take someone shooting for free!
Thank you for your attention. I will now open the floor up for any questions you may have.

Monday, March 6, 2017

My Address to Maryland Shall Issue, 4 March 2017

"To my brothers and sisters in occupied Maryland, I bring you greetings from free America!"

Unfortunately the recording device (a handheld iPhone) ran out memory and so we missed the Q&A session.

Even though I acknowledge I'm doing better at passing en femme, I still have problems looking at myself because my eyes and brain just go "MAN MAN MAN MAN MAN."

But I'm going to turn this into a victory like so: How accepting must all those MSI folk be, to welcome me so kindly and treat me like a lady, looking and sounding like this?

Why, you'd hardly think they were the hateful neanderthals that gun owners are supposed to be!


A transcript of my address, complete with slides, is here.

Gun Blog Variety Podcast #133 - Erin Won't Say the Word “Negro”

I'm sorry, I'm just too Caucasian to feel comfortable saying the word "negro" unless I'm actually speaking Spanish.
  • Beth is on assignment and will return next week.
  • Sean answers the age-old question, "What path does a man take along the route to stabbing someone in the face?"
  • Barron is on assignment and will return soon.
  • In the Main Topic, Erin tells us about MAG40 and why every concealed carrier should attend. 
  • It's Week Two of MOVIE (TWO) WEEKS! This week Tiffany reviews "I Am Not Your Negro."
  • Erin had some GI troubles at MAG40. We're not talking about soldiers making it difficult on the range, we're talking something much more explosive. Erin talks about what to do when everything inside wants to be outside.
  • Former contributor Miguel told Weer'd about a YouTube "comedy" channel called Fusion. Weer'd puts them through a Patented Weer'd Audio Fisk (TM).
  • And our plug of the week is for NexBelt.
Thank you for downloading, listening, and subscribing. You are subscribed, right? We are available on iTunes, Stitcher Radio, and now on Google Play Music!
Listen to the podcast here.
Read the show notes here.
Thanks to LuckyGunner and Remington for their sponsorship, and a special thanks to Firearms Policy Coalition for their support.

Blue Collar Prepping Transcript:
Norovirus and the BRAT Diet
As I mentioned in earlier, I came down with a stomach bug the last day of MAG40 that left me dehydrated and going at both ends -- often simultaneously.

While I don’t know what it was that I have, my best guess is Norovirus, aka the “Winter Vomiting Bug”. It’s commonly caused by fecal contamination of food, touching a contaminated surface and then your mouth, or directly from another sick person.

Norovirus is a viral buzzsaw that rips through close collections of people, like classrooms or people on cruise ships.

Based on my close, intimate relationship with Norovirus, the biggest problem with it is dehydration. I was desperately thirsty and my mouth was full of cotton, but I couldn’t take more than a few swallows without upsetting my stomach and triggering another vomiting session.

Worse, diarrhea causes an electrolyte imbalance within the body, which in turn creates more diarrhea. In other words, diarrhea is self-perpetuating, so for those who are curious, you can indeed shit yourself to death.

What’s more, after a case of Norovirus the gastrointestinal tract may be severely inflamed, or not used to digesting food, and may need to be re-started. So what’s a prepper to do?

Obligatory disclaimer: I am not a trained health professional, do not take this as strict medical advice, consult your doctor if you have an erection for more than four hours.

First, always have an antidiarrheal medicine, like Immodium AD, in both your bug-out and get-home bags. Heck, after this weekend I’m keeping several doses in my every day carry kit. Oof.

Second, have a way to get electrolytes back into your system. Since you’re trying to prevent dehydration at the same time, the best way to do that is through liquids. I’m a big fan of Gatorade, but any sport drink will do, as will Pedialyte for children and of course regular old water. You can also buy packages of oral rehydration salts from Amazon -- just mix them with clean water and you’re good to go. They’re light enough that you could fit them into any bug out or get home bag.

There are however some liquids to avoid:
  • Milk, because while you may not normally be lactose intolerant, your digestive tract may not be able to process milk in your weakened state.
  • Alcohol and caffeine, because both of these substances also contribute to dehydration and would only make things worse.
  • Excessively sugary drinks like soda and fruit juices, because while sugar is important in electrolyte solutions, too much has the opposite effect. Avoid any liquid that has more than 3% sugar in it.
  • Don’t use artificial sweeteners, either, as those often have a laxative effect.
Third, when it comes time to eat -- and it may be days before you want to think about food -- it’s best to start small. There’s something called the BRAT diet - Bananas, rice, applesauce, toast - which is supposed to be easy on sensitive guts. Other foods which are good for recovering digestive tracts are oatmeal, boiled potatoes, plain crackers, and baked chicken without skin or fat. You’ll notice that a lot of these ingredients are in that universal antidote, chicken soup.

Preppers ought to consider adding some packages of oatmeal and chicken broth to their bug-out bags, and perhaps some dehydrated bananas as well.

Finally, keep a dark-colored washcloth in your various bags. Don’t use it for regular hygiene of the hands or face; use it just for cleaning “down there.” When the S hits the F, it’s good to have a soft, absorbent, dark-so-it-won’t-stain cloth to clean that S from your body.

Thursday, March 2, 2017

#Couchgate: The View from On High

So apparently the big news story this week is that a woman sat on a couch in a funny way, and we're outraged over it.

I refuse to cover this story. Here's my hot take: It's a goddam couch. Shouldn't you be more worried about the meeting that's going on than the fact that there's a woman on a couch?

And stop making Brazzers jokes. You know there'd be a race to see if HuffPo or Jezebel or Refinery bloody 29 would call it slut-shaming if it were Debbie Wasserman-Schultz instead of Kellyanne Conway on the couch.

So instead, I bring you mountains. Gaze upon them, breathe in, breathe out, and bask in the tranquility.








Two miles above sea level, the air is very cold and very thin. You find yourself light-headed, and the cold doesn't bother you as much because of how dry it is. In the off-season like this, it's incredibly quiet. Nothing but the wind passing between the branches and leaves of the trees, and you can see forever. And yes, that's my finger in one of the shots. Sue me, I'm not a professional photographer.

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