Knock Knock, Doctor Who's There?

OoooOOOohh. Haven't had a haunted house story in a while.

Bill's wardrobe never ceases to confuse me. Horizontal pastel stripes and overalls? The more I see of it, the more I'm convinced she's out of her own time stream, and she's supposed to be from the Eighties. Her soundtrack motif is growing on me, though; it's cute and simple.

The Doctor brought up Regeneration, and I think he's getting her ready for his. The next Doctor has already been cast, in case you haven't heard: it's the gobby one from Love, Actually. The 'bo'ol' one that picks up Americans with his accent. I'm not sure about that choice.

The basic premise of the episode starts off simply enough: a group of students, Bill included, are looking for a cheap house and find a giant old mansion at a suspiciously cheap rate.  In the stinger, one student is... affected by the house, and more follow shortly. After helping Bill move in, the Doctor notices something off about the house and stays to investigate. Upon meeting the landlord, the Doctor noticeably interposes himself between the landlord and the students, perhaps telegraphing the climax of the episode.

There's a draft.

Bill continues to shine. I really like the way they're writing her character; she's not smug or overly clever, but she thinks very logically, and they show it off in her actions, instead of her words or by having other people tell us how good she is. This is very important, as one of the reasons a lot of people were unfortunately turned off to Clara (pre-timeline crisis) was that she was quite smug, and everyone around her was telling us how important she was, as opposed to her just showing it.

I would ask Bill not to sit on the TARDIS console anymore, though. Butt-dialing a TARDIS sounds incredibly dangerous.

The guest cast is serviceable, even if (in the immortal words of Supergirl's Cat Grant) they "look like the attractive yet non-threatening, racially diverse cast of a CW show." with two varieties of Asian (one of them a woman) and a Russian. No one else really stands out, aside from the sinister Landlord.

The "monster" of the week is quite well done, also. Excellent make-up work, if not the first time we've seen someone made of her... materials.

Finally, it doubles as a torch. 

Nazghul Nardole makes a brief appearance near the end of the episode. It seems his only real function is to say a few snarky lines, chastise the Doctor, and walk off-screen, as it's all he's been doing recently. He could have been removed entirely from the scene and it would have suffered none for it. Capaldi has proven previously that he can carry an entire episode on his own, let alone one scene per episode. Nardole just feels unnecessary so far.

So, the vault in the university basement. We know there's someone in there now, someone who can play the piano and likes scary stories, if not Mexican food. Someone who considers themselves a prisoner. I have two theories on this:

• Theory one is that Twelve is making good on Ten's promise, and has caught Missy and is holding her. 
• Theory two is that, pursuant to the rumours of John Simm's Master returning, that he's holding him as a contingency plan against her return.

This wasn't a bad episode, overall, but neither was it a stand-out. The pacing is weird; my timer says the episode is 44 minutes, but it feels like it hits its peak very quickly and is maybe half that in length. Ironically, for a show about time travel, it feels much shorter than it really is. While there's a few key elements in the over-arching mystery of the vault in the University basement, there's not much that happens during this episode, and if you had to skip one so far, this would be the one. Expect my opinion on this to change next week, as the trailer shows that the annoying bald one goes with them on their next adventure and will likely have more screen time.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2: Guardian Harder

[Author's note: I offered Erin to opt out of editing this, as to avoid spoilers. She accepted. Any and all errors and/or typos are on me]

Otherwise knows as "Drax Has An Astoundingly Awesome Day." 

I've just left the theater about 30 minutes ago now. It's still fresh in my mind.

If Marvel rolled the dice and went big on Guardians of the Galaxy, they went hard and went bigger for Volume 2. Seemingly able to have solved the problem of 'the origin movie' always being the boring one, Guardians 2 brings together the established cast and thrusts them straight into an even bigger story than before, with a galactic (possible universal) level extinction event, and a story that puts an enormous emphasis on the theme of what it means to be family, on whether blood is thicker than water, and mending broken bridges, and manages to tie those two themes together astoundingly well.

Having accomplished seemingly the impossible first by taking the B-Team of The Avengers and turning it into a monster franchise, then taking the D-listers of the Guardians and making them just as beloved, they've thrown all caution to the wind here. Guardians 2 has some of the most breathtaking visuals I've ever seen in science fiction. Yes, it's a big mass market appeal, but there are some amazing risks being taken here that simply wouldn't have worked without the world-building that the MCU has dedicated itself to.

Spoilers from here on in...

The story starts with a seemingly unrelated cold-open, much like a Bond film, with a great action sequence that reminded me heavily of Deadpool's opening: a pitched, high-speed battle with a focus on a humorous character set to the soundtrack of a very retro song. Sometime between the first movie and this one, Nebula is captured and in return for the opening sequence's actions, she is handed over to the Guardians to be returned to the Nova Corp for imprisonment, but due to Rocket's incredibly short-sighted (and later fortuitous actions) things go terribly wrong, and Peter Quill is reunited with his father, who turns out to be a living planet with less than benevolent intentions for the galaxy. A new character is introduced, some of the previous film's side characters have much more expanded roles, and there's even a surprise cameo (or two) that I somehow managed to avoid hearing anything about. How they got him is no surprise, but how they got *him*? I swear Marvel has a time machine. Even the Stan Lee cameo (which if it's his last, is fitting) manages to explain how he keeps showing up in every movie.

This is possibly the most colourful Marvel film to date, which is relevant considering how often Marvel Studios has been criticized for its limited colour palette. Ego's World alone rivals Dr Strange's trippy visuals, and his little pods showing Peter his history have a fascinating artistic flair of their own, very evocative of someone who can perfectly replicate life, but has no real understanding of what it means to be human (or any of the other species). There are even moments of absurdity that stretch your suspension of disbelief to the point where they'd be at home in Spaceballs, but still stay within the boundaries set by the film.

No one in the entire cast was a slouch, either. The main cast delivered two-fold on the first movie's performances, and Yondu and Nebula's expanded presences were very strong as well, fleshing them both out and breathing much more life into their otherwise limited characters. The Sovereign managed to make the Nova Corps look downright humble and friendly. Kurt Russel's Ego was seductively charming and totally believable as space-rogue Star Lord's father, and disturbingly menacing once the big plot twist was revealed. The change in dynamic from Groot being a heavy to being a comedic and lovable character worked well. The stand-out performance, though, goes surprisingly to Dave Bautista's Drax, who was having a blast throughout the entire film. His unrelenting optimism coupled with a tempered naivete gave some of the most memorable moments throughout the film.

You great big goof. Don't ever change. 

The one thing that sealed the love letter to the old series, though, was Yondu's fin. Once it appears, Yondu has the most badass moment of the entire film, walking calmly through the carnage he's causing, with the ridiculous red head-fin of the comics proudly on display.

Spoilers ending here: You should definitely see this. Guardians, as a franchise, is less connected to the MCU as a whole, and it has a lot more humour than the rest of the MCU, Ant-Man aside, and is much more easily relatable on its own, but it is hands down the best space opera I've seen in years, surpassing The Force Awakens, Rogue One, Star Trek Beyond, and even its predecessor.

One thing I'd like to point out, unrelated to the movie itself, was that during the trailers, Thor: Ragnarok got a bigger audience pop than Star Wars: The Last Jedi. Maybe it was a better trailer. Maybe it was audience bias for premiere night of the newest Marvel Studios film. All I know is that a few people cheered for Jedi, but there was widespread applause for Ragnarok.

A Brief Moment of Enlightement

I had an errant thought cross my mind, and it got me to thinking. I haven't fully developed it yet, so you're all welcome to help out.

According to Massab Ayoob, the three critical parts of a self-defense shooting are Ability, Opportunity, and Jeopardy.

• Ability means that the aggressor has the tools or physical strength to cause death or grievous injury. 
• Opportunity means they are in your presence and within the effective range of the tool. 
• Jeopardy means that they have expressed a desire or intent to cause harm.

All three elements must be present for a justifiable self-defense shooting.

So here's what got me thinking: I'm sitting with you in a room and I have my concealed carry gun with me. That's the first two legs of the triad right there, ability and opportunity. The only difference between me and a murderer is that I have no intention (jeopardy) of hurting you.

But here's the problem: no one but me knows what's inside my head. I could be harboring murderous thoughts and you'd never know until I acted upon them.

I think this is why anti-gun people are so scared of civilian concealed carriers, and why they love the police: theoretically, police officers have had some kind of mental screening to weed out people who might be harboring thoughts of murder, but citizen carriers don't. I understand the anti-gun mindset a bit more now.

NOTE THAT I DID NOT SAY I AGREE WITH IT! ...just that I "get it" a bit more than before.

So now that I feel I have better understanding of their fear, the big question is "How do we, responsible civilian gun owners, allay those fears?"

I'm thinking that drawing a parallel to cars might be the answer:

• Other drivers also have ability and opportunity, but we don't fear them all as murderers-in-waiting;
• Defensive driving is based upon the notion that other people are careless and might try to kill you by accident if not negligence or malice, so defensive driving and seatbelts are the vehicle version of concealed carry;
• Cars are culturally less frightening than guns.

Thoughts on this matter are most welcome.

Erin Palette on Cam & Co. 5/3/2017

"Following the murders at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, Florida, Erin Palette created Operation Blazing Sword. It's a resource for the LGBT community to find LGBT-friendly instructors to learn the basics of firearm safety. After going to the range and having an opportunity to shoot, they can make an informed decision as to whether firearms are for them. At the 2017 NRA Annual Meetings, Erin tells Cam that there are now over 1400 trainers in all 50 states. She says that her greatest challenge is to communicate with the entire LGBT community. Ironically, she thinks that a good denouncing from Gays Against Guns would help the organization get the attention it needs." Originally aired on Cam & Co 05/03/17.



Cam is a very cool and funny guy. Before the interview I told him "I'm always nervous when going on camera, because I'm worried I'll say 'clitoris' for no reason."  Cam replied with "In that case, we'd better get it all out of our system now: clitoris, ass, tits, pussy, dick..."  The laughter that ensued was captured in what is probably my favorite picture from the NRA convention, taken by a friend:

I also did a phone interview follow-up to this, but there wasn't a handy link to that. If you want to see the whole thing, go here; my phone interview starts around the 2hrs 27 min mark.

Pellatarrum: Decomposition

It's been a while since I last talked about my elemental-clockwork fantasy universe, so it's time to revisit it. In properly weird fashion, we're going to discuss the ways that various races decompose after death.

But Erin, why does this matter for a D&D or Pathfinder game? Once the NPCs are dead, they aren't important any more. 

Wrong! This matters because small things in the background (often derided as "fluff") affect and shape the formation of larger cultural elements, which go on to affect the PCs through the shape of rituals, customs, traditions and mores of the game world. Also, how many dungeons expeditions turn into tomb robbing?

Dwarves
As previously mentioned, dwarves do not rot; instead, they petrify and eventually turn into solid stone. In game terms, this means a few things:

1. Dwarf corpses never come out of rigor mortis. Dwarven priests use the Soften Earth and Stone spell to unlock the joints for dressing in finery and posing for eternal rest (necessary if the death is sudden and the body is splayed in an undignified manner).
2. Dwarven tombs are difficult to rob of their wealth, because the treasure is likely to be in the shape of weapons and armor that are now bound to, or being held by, several hundred pounds of unmoving statue. Bring a spellcaster, or an adamantine hammer and chisel and a lot of patience. 
3. Given the elemental nature of Pellatarran undead, dwarves rarely rise as true undead as their bodies have become immobile and their natures apathetic.  However, necromancers can still animate their freshly-slain corpses.

Elves

It is of utmost importance that the corpses of elves be kept from water, else they rise as fearsome undead. Admittedly, every corpse must be kept from water because it is the element of fear; it just seems especially prudent to keep the race linked to water from rising as a fear-based undead because that sounds like doubling up on trouble. 

The problem is that elf corpses don't rot; they deliquesce, their flesh (and later, their bones) melting into liquid. This can be avoided if proper elven funerary practices are followed, but this isn't always possible in cases of accident, misadventure, crime (like murder, or a kidnapping gone wrong) or the evergreen "an elven adventurer dies in a dungeon." The good news is that this means elves who rise as physical undead don't stay that way for long. The bad news, though, is that this drastically increases the chances of them rising as incorporeal undead. 

It is rumored that powerful necromancers can capture the essence of these elves by storing the juices of their former bodies in properly enchanted canopic jars, and that by sipping from them like potions, the knowledge and memories of the captured elf can be accessed by the imbiber. Of course, these stories also hasten to warn that this is an excellent way to become possessed by the spirit of the elf you're sipping...

Orcs

Orc corpses don't rot; instead, they char from the inside-out. According to orc lore, once the soul is freed from its body, its passage sears its former flesh. The only way to tell if an orc died from a fire or by other means is to cut it open and see where the damage is greatest. 

Given enough time, orc corpses will turn to ash and blow away. The orcish practice of cremation is largely seen as a way to speed this process along, as orcs have more important things to do than wait for bodies to ashify. 

Much like elves, this means that orcs rarely rise as physical undead, but have a greater chance of becoming incorporeal undead. This ironic similarity is a source of irritation for both peoples, and mentioning it is a fantastic way to start a fight in either culture. 

Dragons

Despite what you may expect, dragon corpses do not evaporate into gas. That would be silly. 

No, they just explode dramatically as their breath weapons seek to rejoin the air around them. (Air is breath, after all.) The size and power of the explosion is based on their age, so the corpse of a Great Red Wyrm will explode in a 24d10 fireball and be consumed by it. 

This is one reason why other dragons will collapse a cave or mountain upon their dead. Another reason is "Not all breath weapons completely destroy the body, and undead dragons of any color are utterly terrifying."

Sometimes this explosion happens days, weeks, or even months after their deaths; sometimes it happens immediately. Even in death, dragons are inscrutable. 

Other Races

Non-elder races, being creations of the Material Plane, just revert to the materials from which they were made through simple rotting.

What's that, you ask? What about the halflings?

Oh. Well, there's nothing to tell, really. Halfling communities don't have an undead problem. They're just such a radiant, positively energetic people that for some odd reason, they don't become undead unless there are unusual circumstances, like a necromancer or a powerful artifact. 

You know, come to think of it, you've never seen a halfling graveyard. Odd, that. 

(Go on. Think through the implications of this. If you aren't disturbed, you haven't thought it all the way through.)

Gun Blog Variety Podcast #141 - Be Yourself... No, Not Like That!

I look forward to the day when being a gun owner no longer carries a social stigma.

• Beth received a letter asking for speakers for Career Day at her son's school, but when she told them she was a firearms instructor, they said "Thanks, but No Thanks."
• A man attempted to give girlfriend a ballistic abortion. Sean looks at his permanent record.
• Barron is on assignment this week.
• What’s worse than a rabid gun grabber running an anti-gun organization on Daddy Bloomberg’s money? A rabid gun grabber running a political campaign on Daddy Bloomberg’s money.
• We welcome Special Guest Rob Morse, of the Self Defense Gun Stories podcast, to our Main Topic.
• Tiffany is headed off to NRAAM. Will she once again be the only black woman at a gun rights event? Or is there truly a place for people that look like her?
• Convention season is upon us. Erin gives you tips on how to comfortably survive what she calls "kindergarten for grownups."
• ABC goes Full Gun Grab with "Designated Survivor". Weer'd has the audio and the facts.
• And our plug of the week is Magpul PMAG Glock magazines.

Thank you for downloading, listening, and subscribing. You are subscribed, right? We are available on iTunes, Stitcher Radio, and Google Play Music!

Listen to the podcast here.

Read the show notes here.

Thanks to LuckyGunner and Remington for their sponsorship, and a special thanks to Firearms Policy Coalition for their support.

Blue Collar Prepping Transcript:

Convention Survival Strategies

Because I was out all week, I used a previously-written article for my podcast. Therefore, the entire transcript can be found here.

Doctor Who: The (Other) Beast Below

Is it me, or is the third episode always a historical lately? Whether or not you count the Christmas specials or last season's two-parters as individual stories, the third episode of each season since launch has been a historical.

A contemporary human companion's first historical trip is always a special occasion as the ramifications of time travel can easily be overlooked if you're travelling to the future or the past of another planet entirely, but travelling into your own planet's past makes it much more personal. This remind me strongly of the Shakespeare episode with Ten and Martha, in that the companion's initial concerns of being black and in the past were addressed and both brought up the Butterfly Effect. Twelve's response was much funnier than Ten's "Just don't step on any butterflies"; Twelve almost had me believing in poor old Pete.

Your weekly moment of social issues are a mixed bag, however. The cartoonishly racist antagonist and (Twelve's response to him) was a bit much, but was still believable for the time period;  so was Twelve literally using the word "whitewash" when it's been established he has trouble telling individual human beings apart to begin with. But on the other hand, both the antagonist and the comment on the diversity of the crowds were accurate, and the comment about the little white boy being 'transported' was a fair touch as well.

London-based period pieces are a walk in the park for the BBC

The stand-out scene in this episode is where Bill learns who and what the Doctor really is after seeing a very tragic scene and gets properly mad at him. "I am over 2000 years old, and I have never had the time for the luxury of outrage" is a very powerful statement when coming from the mouth of someone who never just talks but always acts to help people.

Pearl Mackie is showing a lot of unexpected versatility in this episode:

Properly mad. 

Nargle Nardole shows up for all of a minute or so, so that makes me happy.

I think my absolute favourite part of this entire episode is that, while we see the monster (and I'm curious as to why it has human eyes), it's never explained what it is or where it came from. The Doctor even goes so far as to say it may even be native to Earth, but speculates no further. The villain doesn't explain it, the Doctor doesn't recognize it, and even the historical records don't mention it when Bill gets back to modern day.

From a technical aspect, I feel that this episode was probably made with very little expense. The set for the Frost Fair must have been tiny, given the fog effects, and the BBC should have very little trouble finding a large vintage house and a brick-walled factory to film in.

Three for three on decent episodes this year. No stinkers or stand-outs yet, and certainly worth a watch.