Well, fuck.

I started out so bravely
and now I'm sinking. 
I'm afraid. 
Lord, save me!

I was so self-confident, so sure, 
and now I trust nothing
and do not know where to turn for help, and so I cry out to You, 
even when I'm not sure I believe in You
or in Your power to rescue me. 
Lord, save me!

When Peter called out to Jesus to save him from sinking, 
Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him. 
Stretch out Your hand, Savior, to me. 
Catch me and hold me fast!
Amen. 


-- For Help in Trouble, A Prayer Book for the Armed Services, p. 41

Fireflies

This is my sweetheart's favorite song. I'm posting it here because it makes me smile.

I hope your mental health day is everything you need it to be, baby.   *HUGS*

If You Could Only See

To my sweetheart:

If I could fix your problems, I would. But I can't. Instead, all I can do is think of this song, because it reminds me of you and gives me hope.

I love you.
-- Erin

The End of the Beginning

The End of the Beginning


When I am alone I dream of the world ending
Cities and monuments crumbling into dust
The weight of the world literally at my feet

Sometimes in this dream I am by myself
Alone but not lonely in an alien land
Needing no one in order to survive.

Other times you are with me
Carving out a new life amidst the wreckage of the old
Starting anew in the most literal of ways.

In both cases I am unrepentantly myself
Living without need for explanation or justification for who I am
Simply being me, no more and no less.

As our world collapses around us
I ask of you the hardest simple task you will ever face:
"Live in hope and not in fear."

Update update

Mom is safely home. She's sore and groggy, and it's a full-time job to keep the puppy from jumping into her lap, but other than that all is well.

Update

This is in no way an April Fool's post.
 
Mom's surgery went well, though there were complications. They found a tumor which required an immediate biopsy, but thankfully it was benign. Even so, the doctors took this as an indication that the operation was indeed necessary.

The other complication was that during the procedure, they managed to nick the bladder enough to require sutures. This means Mom is on a catheter for the next week.  So, yay for that.

In honor of her successful operation, and because I missed yesterday's Wednesday Night Wackiness, I present you with Still Alive:

Apologies & more silence to follow

Things have been very hectic here these past few days in preparation for my mother's operation, which is why I haven't posted in a week. I apologize for that.

As of 8am today she went into surgery for a laparoscopic hysterectomy, because while tests earlier in the year proved she didn't have ovarian cancer, her doctors felt that it would only be a matter of time until it developed anyway, and so it was better safe than sorry.

So far, so good. I will post what I know when I know it. As it currently stands, she will spend the night in the hospital and then return tomorrow for 3 weeks of recovery, during which time I will be spending XP on domestic skills and perhaps taking a level or two in Domestic Goddess.

As a result, posts may become very minimal around here for a while. I'll try to update once a week, and will Tweet whenever possible, so you can keep in the loop that way.

I thank everyone who has offered prayers and well-wishes. They have helped quite a bit.