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Friday, September 14, 2007

Color me Defused

Yes, yes, I know, I'm a week late on this. But as I've always said, "Better late than pregnant."

So, when last we left our intrepid band of Superhero Wannabes, they had been narrowed down to three contestants:
  1. Hyper-Strike, a rambunctious martial artist and circus performer who might well have sprung fully-formed from the pages of a Shōnen manga, and the odds-on favorite to win due to his winning smile and embodiment of goofy wholesomeness;
  2. Hygena, the zaftig domestic goddess who seemed to be there mostly to keep the finale from being a total sausage-fest (I mean, really: did anyone seriously think she ever stood a chance? Correct me if I'm wrong, because I'm keen to find out);
  3. and The Defuser: 6'4", 230 lbs of pure awesome. In addition to being a real-life police detective, he is also one of the biggest nerds out there (and I mean that in the best, most complimentary way possible, since I'm one too) -- he plays City of Heroes online, D&D on tabletop, and has ten thousand comic books polybagged in his garage. He also has a pretty kickin' MySpace page.
Gee, I wonder which one is Palette's favorite? Hmm, that's a toughie. ;)

Honestly, I expected Hyper-Strike to win. He has "Spider-Man" fanboy written all over him (again, I mean that in the best way possible) and just seemed to hit all the right qualifications without missing a stride. Defuser, on the other hand, was up on the red blocks quite a bit for being too bossy, not bossy enough, giving part of his costume to a child, etc etc etc, and since he's a police officer, I figured Stan would go the "You are a Super Hero in real life, you don't need to win this to prove it" route.

So when my boy from CoH actually won the dang thing... well, I think I peed myself a little.

I think his winning is due to three things:
  1. He actively listened to Stan's criticisms and modified his behavior along those lines. I don't think he was ever criticized for the same thing twice.
  2. He was there for his compatriots emotionally. Look at how he counseled Limelight, comforted Whip-Snap and confronted Mr. Mitzvah when everyone else thought he was the mole but didn't have the guts to say it.
  3. He had two attack dogs hanging onto him in one of the final challenges and still managed to stand up. Dayum!
Well played, Defuser. I just wish I could see the look on the face of the first criminal who recognizes you when you arrest him. That's an "oh shit" moment I'd love to see.

By the way, does anyone think Defuser happens to look like a much more in-shape Greg Grunberg, or is it just me?

And so ends this year's posting season of Who Wants To Be A Super Hero. Excelsior!

Now playing: Juno Reactor - High Energy Photons
via FoxyTunes


  1. I was equally thrilled.

    By the way, you say "sausage fest" like it's a bad thing...bring on the bratwurst!

  2. From your descriptions I would have voted for him too.. just the fact that he plays CoH is very cool.

  3. I honestly think the reason why I haven't watched this years run of episodes is that...well..

    God I'm so ashamed.

    I'm terribly distracted by Ms Limelight. I DON'T GET IT. She's so far from being my normal "type" that it's puzzling.. I'll have to give the show a proper try eventually I suppose..

  4. All you have to do is listen to her speak for 5 minutes, Salem, and I promise you will lose all interest.

    I know you like your girls smart and conversational, and this one is neither.

  5. Hence my shame.

    And quiet, Troy. What I'm sporting is my business ;-p

  6. Oh dear.

    This certainly will not do, Salem. In fact, I think an intervention is needed.

    I hereby sentence you to watch nothing but awful Paris Hilton footage (starting with The Simple Life). If that doesn't work, I'm afraid we'll have to resort to applying electrodes to your genitals.

  7. Salem's gonna sport an electric chubby!

  8. It's got hydraulics, Troy.

    Actually since you seem to be strangely interested in my "chubby", I'll let you in on a secret. It's got the requisite man-nickname. Kevin Sorbo. I'll let you figure out why.

    And Erin, I'm sorry, I'd rather live with the shame of being distracted by Ms. Limelight than be forcefed Paris Hilton's television torture. In otherwords: you'll have to catch me first!! >=D

  9. Re:Hygena - Two words, Erin. Fat Momma.


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