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Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Whither Palette

It's ragweed season in Florida, and thus my allergies are killing me.

It's also hurricane season, which means there are frequent thunderstorms in the afternoon and evenings, and thus my sinuses are killing me.

This means I am in one of three states:
  1. Totally congested, gasping for air, and miserable.
  2. Sneezing, coughing, and blowing my nose, also totally miserable.
  3. Dosed to the gills on OTC allergy & sinus meds, and thus either drowsy or high. But dammit, I can breathe.
I'm currently at stage three, and my brain wants to write sentences like "chantilly strawberry siding." Wheee!

I'll be back with real writing once I've determined who replaced my muffins with cauliflower. I bet it's those damn idea gnomes. They've stopped crapping ideas into my skull, so clearly they stole my muffins and are now fornicating with them. Pretty stupid to think that I wouldn't notice a head of cauliflower in my muffin tin.

I'll cheese sauce those little bastards but good. You just wait.

6 comments:

  1. "This means I am in one of three states:

    1. Totally congested, gasping for air, and miserable.
    2. Sneezing, coughing, and blowing my nose, also totally miserable.
    3. Dosed to the gills on OTC allergy & sinus meds, and thus either drowsy or high. But dammit, I can breathe."


    You lying sack of crap! The state you're in is Florida! You say it in your very first line! J'accuse!

    ReplyDelete
  2. In other news, sorry to hear that, Pal.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Since you're high, the underpants gnomes have a solution for you.

    Phase 1:Move out of a shitty state.
    Phase 2:????
    Phase 3:Profit!

    There are 50 states in the union. 49 of them aren't Florida. Proceed accordingly.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yeah, but one of them's Texas, and the other one's Alabama. So that's two more out the window.

    I suggest moving somewhere cold and dry. Remember, you can always put more clothes on, but once you're naked, you're naked. I mean, as far as heat goes. Not that there's other reasons to be naked. Ahem.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ehh, aside from the weather I actually *like* Florida.

    And my allergies are such that I can't ever avoid them: if I moved to a cold state I'm sure I'd be allergic to the mold growing in the heating ducts.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I suggest a bubble...a plastic bubble...

    ReplyDelete

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