Friday, March 28, 2008

Things Which Piss Me Off

1. Overuse of the word "Cyber"

The prefix "cyber-" does not mean everything computerized, or electronic, or internet. In fact, it's not even a proper prefix. It's merely the truncated version of "cybernetic", which is based off the Greek word kybernetikos and means "helmsman". Cybernetics, which first appeared in 1948, is the study of how computers operate and the comparison thereof to the human nervous system. Therefore, it's really only applicable to tack the cyber- prefix on to words dealing with programming or the integration of machinery with the human body.

Cybersex simply isn't, unless you're fucking your computer. And if you're one of those reprobates who uses the term "cyberspace," I will hunt you down and beat you to death with a dictionary. In addition to not being cyber, it certainly isn't "space" -- a term which requires dimension and volume in order to apply. The internet is quite specifically a non-space, since it doesn't exist anywhere except as an abstraction supported by infrastructure. In fact, it could be considered the anti-space, since by chatting in real time with someone on the other side of the world it has effectively removed the barriers of distance between my buddy and myself.

2. Oversaturation of Pink

Don't get me wrong -- I love pink. It is a fun, flirty, cheerful color. What bothers me about pink is that so many artists and designers seem to think that the only shade of pink is Hot Pink. The worst offender is a particular hue I call "Eyebleed," and you can find it in the Barbie aisle of any toy store. I don't know about you folks, but this color actually makes my eyes hurt, and has been known to give me a headache. If you ask me, I think the doll aisle needs a de-neoning.

And use some different colors while you're at it! Just because something is aimed at girls doesn't mean it has to be pink. There are plenty of other fun, attractive, feminine colors out there: Lavender, Aqua, Coral, Jade...

3. The "Toilet Seat Must Be Left Down" jihad

Back when I was living up in D.C., I knew an awesome guy who had several female friends. These friends were frequently over at his place, because he was neat in a geeky kind of way and he kept a clean house. And, as women are likely to do, when we were over there we'd use his bathroom.

But there was one rule we had to follow when we used his toilet: when we were done, we had to put the toilet seat up. If we didn't, we got a (mild) lecture about consideration.

At this point, I imagine there are several women who are shaking their heads right about now. But you know what? He was right. It was his bathroom in his apartment, and he called the shots.

So the whole "Oh he's so inconsiderate, he doesn't put the seat down" thing just bugs me now, because every time I hear it I can imagine the guy thinking "Dammit, I have to pee and I have to lift the freaking seat again." At this point, I'm inclined to think that the natural state of the toilet seat really needs to be based upon the majority gender that uses it. I am so over this argument.

Want to end the argument? Install a urinal in the bathroom. Men can pee there, women can pee on the toilet, problem solved. Bathroom equality for everyone!


  1. I agree wholeheartedly on all three of your points. Thank you so much for saying them.

  2. This speaks to me. You speak cyber-truth.

  3. I must be going out of my way to be rude to my guests, as I close the toilet seat AND lid when I'm done. And lift the bastards each and every time.

    And whinge when people don't close them when they've finished using them..

  4. Okay, I HAVE to know... Which member of the group up here was the one that insisted on having the seat up? Was it the former marine? Tell me!

  5. I think the toilet thing should depend on the normal state of the seat. However, I will say, that it is most unpleasant to have to use the toilet in the middle of the night when you're still 3/4 asleep and fall in because someone left the seat up. I do not appreciate cold baths in toilet water at 3 am.


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