Too awesome to let pass unnoticed

Remember when I talked about authorial annoyance? This is one of those.

Some lie because they are insecure or unsatisfied with their lives. We put a lot of these people on medication, whether they've hurt anyone or not. Some people lie to entertain people. We call these people writers, musicians, actors. We cut these people paychecks sometimes. Some people lie to better their own lives at the cost of other people's. We call these politicians, and we can't do anything to them because they're writing the laws. -- Salem MacGourley, Notes from the Sonic Stapler

Best damn definition I've seen.

Sláinte, Salem.

I Will Punk If I Goddamn Want to

Oh dear. It would seem that some people have taken issue with my use of the "-punk' suffix, following Warren Ellis's link to He@ in his blog. This complaining seems to come in two flavors:

1. Why must everything be "x-punk" these days? It's a tired old term.
   
2. Oi oi oi! I'm a punk! I object to you using that term when there isn't any punk attitude or sensibility!

To which I say: Quit yer whinging, ye wee sodding wankers.

Actually, I don't really care if they complain or not (though it did give me a chance to use my "Belfast voice", which is always fun), because any publicity is good publicity. Call me what you like, I don't really give a shit, just so long as you link back to me. But since this is a literary blog, and I'm feeling pedantic, I might as well address these "concerns".

It's a tired old term.

Well, it's old, I'll grant you that. The term cyberpunk was created by Bruce Bethke back in 1980 for his short story of the same name... as a marketing term, so that his story would have more appeal to readers. Tired? Considering that we're using the term 27 years later, I'd say it's pretty damn effective.

Why must everything be "x-punk" these days?

For the same goddamn reason that everything Apple puts out these days is "iWhatever": it's an instantly recognizable shorthand with built-in audience appeal. Besides, which is easier to say: "A work set in an era or world where steam power is still widely used—usually the 19th century, and often set in Victorian era England—but with prominent elements of either science fiction or fantasy, such as fictional technological inventions like those found in the works of H. G. Wells, or real technological developments like the computer occurring at an earlier date" or "Steampunk"?

If you want to be mad at someone, blame K.W. Jeter for starting it with a 1987 letter to Locus magazine where he said:

Personally, I think Victorian fantasies are going to be the next big thing, as long as we can come up with a fitting collective term for Powers, Blaylock and myself. Something based on the appropriate technology of the era; like "steampunks," perhaps ...

You may not like the nomenclature, but it's here to stay. Get over it.

I'm a punk and I object to you using that term...

Ah, the delicious taste of hypocrisy!

Punk ideology is concerned with the individual's intrinsic right to freedom, and a less restricted lifestyle. Punk ethics espouse the role of personal choice in the development of, and pursuit of, greater freedom.

In other words, by trying to censor me, you are oppressing my right to express myself, and thus you are just as bad as the Establishment. And by staying true to myself and refusing to conform to what you want, I prove myself more punk than thou. So go fuck yourself.

...when there isn't any punk attitude or sensibility!

Which punk sensibility?

• Anarchy?
• Socialism?
• Straight Edge?
• Conservative? (Believe it or not...)
  
• Nihilism?
• Neo-Nazism?
• Apolitical?
• Situational?
  
• Liberal?

Considering that there are mutually exclusive schools of thought there, this is not a coherent argument. In fact, the only unifying theme for punk that I can find is once again "Individual freedom at any cost". By that logic, Firefly is punk.

So chwee ni duh, you ai chr jze se duh fohn diang gho. I'll call it Heliumpunk if I fucking well want to, and you can't stop me.

Just in case it's necessary...

Heliumpunk is copyright 2007 by Erin Palette.

Go here to read about copyright and the Internet.

That said, let me explain what I mean. I'm not for one instant claiming that no one can write a story using the basic conceit of He@, which is "A future or near-future setting where anachronistic and obsolete technology is given a new lease on life, not just because it is cool, but for plausible reasons within the setting." That would be greedy, and if my work inspires others, I'm flattered.

What I am saying is that when I discuss He@ on this site, I am specifically talking about my novel-in-progress unless I say otherwise. Thus, anything in regards to the book -- be it characters, setting, plot or plot elements -- is copyrighted inasmuch as these things can be.

This entry has been written for the express purpose of covering my rear end legally. Decent folks have nothing to fear from it.

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood"

I find myself at a rather curious juncture, and need help reaching a decision.

Heliumpunk is rapidly becoming an obsession, expanding like a gas to fill the available volume -- which in this case is the time I normally allocate for devising and writing these blog entries that so many of you love. My time being a finite quality, there will be days when I have to choose between blogging and heliumpunking. The easy solution, of course, is to turn the literary progress into a blog entry, and thus kill two birds with one stone.

Pros:

• I can keep my commitment to this blog while still honoring the creative impulse (which is why I started this blog in the first place)
• I can work out some of the rougher details in real time
• If I make an egregious error of science or logic I'm sure it will be rapidly caught and just as rapidly corrected
• I can get instant feedback from my readers
• By posting tidbits of the world, I can generate publicity and a readerbase befoire the thing ever gets published

Cons:

• Some readers will get sick of the constant heliumpunk entries. Perversely, some will get annoyed that I don't post more of them.
  
• Am I risking my intellectual property by doing this? I'd hate to render my stuff "unpublishable" because I put it up on the web. (IP and copyright lawyers, please contact me.)
• I can get instant feedback from my readers. Yes, this can be a negative -- if you've ever taken a "creative writing" class you know exactly what I mean.
  
• There are risks that it may become a novel by committee (see above point)
  
• My work might be stolen, or co-opted, or a particularly obsessive reader might claim literary credit or monetary compensation for ideas/characters/etc that end up in the book

Also, I need to see if Plok is cool with all this. If not, then this entire post is rendered moot.

So basically... if you know anything about IP or copyright law, or have firsthand experience in this matter, please let me know your thoughts on this.

Oh yes, one more thing: I've decided to abbreviate heliumpunk as He@. For an explanation as to why the Circle-A is a symbol for punk, go here.

Et miscellanea

ITEM! I have a new header. Special thanks to Shane Bailey of Near Mint Heroes for designing it.

ITEM! According to this document, you only have until April 5 to vote for Omnicron! Don't delay!

ITEM! Chris Sims has a fetish for goth girls! I take credit for this.

ITEM! I love this picture and need to put it on this page. It might just end up in my Profile.

ITEM! Dante of A Blog Called T has declared Lurking Rhythmically to be "one of his favorite blogs."

ITEM! For those perplexed by the phonetic Chinese in the April Fools' post, here are the translations:

1. Tian Fuhn Di Fu: "Sky tumbles while earth turns over" -- complete disarray or sheer pandemonium.
   
2. Da shiong la se la ch'wohn tian: "Explosive diarrhea of an elephant."
3. Juh shi suh mo go dohng shee: "What the hell is this crap?"
4. Lio coh jwei ji neong hur ho deh yung duh buhn jah j'wohn: "Stupid son of a drooling whore and a monkey."
5. Juh guh jee hua juhn kuh pah: "There's nothing in this plan that isn't horrific."

ITEM! All these fun curses and more can be found in the Serenity RPG!

ITEM! Speaking of Serenity, I really, really want this.

ITEM! Heliumpunk is proceeding nicely. Plok and I are hammering out the details of the setting, and characters and plot are beginning to make themselves known.

ITEM! Expect another article about guns in the near future. I stopped replying because I figured if I kept at it there'd be another full blog in the comments section, but then I wouldn't get credit for it, and what's the point in all that?

ITEM! The phrase "Shot my wad" comes from the era of muzzle-loaders, when soldiers in the heat of battle would forget to insert a bullet after pouring in the gunpowder and tamping down the wad of cotton that held it in place, and end up shooting a blank.

ITEM! I've shot my wad.

He fights for... THE FUTURE!

I had to wait until today to post this, or else people might think it was an April Fools' joke.

For those of you who haven't heard of Who Wants to Be a Superhero?, the premise is simple: contestants adopt a superheroic persona, complete with costume, origin story, and powers. Then they live together in a Big Brother style house, where they are expected to be in character at all times. Every so often, they are given challenges to overcome or puzzles to solve. The trick here is that it's not about winning the challenges, it's about how closely you can adhere to the superhero ethos as judged by Stan Lee.

Yes, you heard me: Stan "The Man" Lee is the judge of this show. And sometimes, you can win a challenge by not completing the challenge at all, but by stopping to help the little girl, crying on the sidewak, find her mother. Because that's what heroes do, you see.

The winner of each season gets geek immortality: a Dark Horse comic book and a Sci-Fi channel TV movie about his character. This is, as they are known to say, "the bomb diggety."

The reason I bring all of this up is because there are three semifinalists left for the final spot in next season, and one of them -- Omnicron -- is a longtime City of Heroes player. Many of you know that I, too, am a veteran CoH'er (Guardian channel represent, yo), so I felt obliged to check out his entry.

You can see all of their audition interviews here. Omnicron has his own website which has more information about himself here.

Now, I'm not going to tell you all to vote for Omnicron, nor am I going to disparage the other contestants. What I am asking is that you look at the videos, and vote for the person you honestly feel would make a good superhero.

I further ask that others in the blogosphere make mention of this. Don't link to this blog; link to the contest page. These people are living their dream, and probably our dreams, too. Let's support them in this.

Excelsior!

Tian Fuhn Di Fu

Da shiong la se la ch'wohn tian!

Juh shi suh mo go dohng shee?


Lio coh jwei ji neong hur ho deh yung duh buhn jah j'wohn!


Juh guh jee hua juhn kuh pah!